an Indonesian in Dubai

She laughs so loud when i told her I'm thinking to apply for a job in Dubai,she told me don't dream so high, and be realistic.

She left me stoned. In my mind running the question, aren't dreams made to be high so that we can aim higher?

she still cant stop laughing when she finally told me "if my husband who can speak four languages and so much national dialect had an experience and master degree can't even get the job,why can you ? " I just sealed my lips. in my heart i whisper, she is wrong God, let me proof it.

it's more than half of the year that I'm unemployed.I start to feel like I am a big loser when i applied everywhere, including in my country and no one replied.

I know God is listening and aware of my pain, I'm trying my best to keep my faith.

I cried to mom,dad,I cried to HIM, I cried for the feeling of failure. for the feeling my life is having no sense. I cried for HIM letting me down. I cried until I cant even cry.

mom told me to not let anyone convince me that i don’t deserve what i want . she said hold on to God, life is a wheel .that's one of the sweetest song to my soul. I think she saved me by saying that.

on October 20 , exactly, on my birthday, I received an email. when I even not hope for it, I'm glad God hear my prayer and since then i keep my card close to my chest.

I'll never forget the day i flew for the first time with big airplane, I'll never forget the moment i was so excited to see stars above the ceiling of the plane, I'll never forget the moment i did my first eye scan. I'll never forget the moment i first arrive in Dubai airport which will be my workplace,i'll never forget the shocked i am knowing the toilet can be flush by putting your palm on the sensor. Never forget the day i experienced my first sand storm (i think one of the greatest achievement for people living in Dubai is to walk outside during the storm) and the day i had my first summer (the first time i feel like i'm a grilled meat) the first time i saw Burj Khalifa,feel the excitement and amazed by it, the first time i ate mandi rice ,touch the camel ,ride the camel and eat the camel.

there is words that i always keep in my dream board and scrapbook :

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me - I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”
Denis2005 Virginia Satir quotes (American Psychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)