Lights

People say that the best thing about travelling is to discover new perspectives and keep some stories as memory for ourselves. I do not usually travel; it is something I cannot afford to do, in terms of time, money and accompany as well since I cannot find anyone to go with me. So I write, instead, to discover a new thing. It is weird that there are so many thoughts in my head, but I can never put them together. The only way I can arrange my thoughts neatly and make sense is write, in the most spontaneous way as possible.
Writing has never been something I am good at. When I am compelled to produce a piece of writing, no word comes out on the white blank paper. But when I scribble just for fun, I can write down how I feel. And how I feel? I feel stupid by the way. Stupid for do not know what I wants, or understand myself, most of the time. I just cannot express what inside of me, as always. I do not how I ended up here. But that is another story.
Then I smiled as if I just discovered a treasure island with no monster, no ghost, no pirate - just gold. No matter how hard I had tried to plan everything perfectly, it just would not go the way I intended. Sometimes all I just need is to hear it from the right person and it will inspire me without my acknowledgement. And to me, suddenly I realized that I was lost, after some food for thoughts from my friend, on the journey of finding myself. “Dont be stupid, you cannot get lost forever” - At some point, maybe I will suddenly, accidentally find myself again. Just keep hoping and never give up. Who knows one day, I will do something I would never expected, something wilder that the wild and stupid and will lead to another totally unexpected.
And I discovered something about a person. I have many flaws as a human. I am a person of contradiction. And never stop looking forwards to the future. Because I know me of tomorrow will definitely learn from yesterday and make the most of the moment. Find the light. And myself.
“Stop finding. The more you find, the more lost you get” - At the darkest time of my life, when I screw up, it is up to me to choose not to be upset about it, because the best thing we can do, is to try our best at the things that we are not even good at, until the point we are good at it.
Do not think. Just do.