No Guides

I never take a guided tour but I made an exception for a birding trip on a Scottish island. At 4 a.m. twelve of us crammed into a van made for six and set out in the fog, having been promised views of eagles, puffins and the elusive blue-footed booby. We were told to leave our packs behind and take only our binoculars because we'd be served a gourmet lunch. Six hours later we had not seen a single bird. Our guide stopped and handed out our lunch -- three-day old beef sandwiches. Did I mention I am a vegetarian? I thought this might be a good time to ask him when we might see some birds. He told me since I didn't seem to like his tour I might as well look on my own. Before I could say anything more, he packed the van and left without me. I watched dismally as the van disappeared down the only road on the island. The fog had turned to drizzle by now. I was wet, cold and hungry, but at least I wasn't lost. However, I was at least fifteen miles from town, with walking as my only option. I set out, and to my amazement, began to see flocks of birds. The noise of the van and its passengers had been scaring the birds at our stops. In the silence of the moor they were active. I was quite happy now, sighting many of the rare birds I had come to see. After ten miles, I was ready for my adventure to end. Thirsty and tired, I sat down, having seen no vehicles on the road for hours. Then I heard something coming in the distance. Perhaps the tour guide had relented and come back for me? No. A large bus rumbled toward me. The driver stopped abruptly, opened his door, and obviously puzzled, asked me what I was doing out alone on the moor. I explained to him about the misbegotten tour, and he laughed. The tour guide was well known in town for his bad temper and unpredictable behavior. However, offering the only activity on the island, he always had a full van. The driver gave me a lift back to town where the tour van was just arriving from the opposite direction. No one had seen a single bird all day. I retrieved my bag and waited for the ferry back to the mainland, resolving this would be my last guided tour. Those blue-footed boobies? Turns out you needed a boat to see their nesting sites.