learning to live

The night shift in Vegas is over and the star spangled, happy-go-lucky, good time seeking night owls are replaced by the hungover on an epic quest for bacon, strained parents reining in awestruck children, the fresh faced just off the bus and us. We are making our way to the stratosphere tower to climb to the top…and jump.

I’m excited as we climb the stairs and enter a room full of sky jump paraphernalia. The tower is 1,149ft and the tallest free-standing observation tower in the US and the tallest in the western hemisphere the poster on the wall tells us as we wait. I can feel my heart begin to flutter as we are called through to change into a jazzy looking blue jumpsuit and luminous yellow harness. Strapped up tight and ready to jump we take the elevator to the 108th floor.

I am led to the edge by a friendly woman and told to place my feet half over the edge and to hold onto the rails on either side of me. I can see the whole city spread before me and down below is a small bull’s eye surrounded by small dots that must be people. I can see the hotels swimming pool and am mesmerized by the sun glaring off the water.
“Turn your body, brace your knees and land on the bull’s eye.”
The woman’s voice snaps me back to reality and I curse myself for not listening.
“Are you ready?”
I feel ready. A determination takes over as I sway forward into position. My heart is pounding, my breathing is steady.
“1…2…3…let go!”
“Let go??”
“Don’t jump, just let go of the rails.”
Fear floods through my body; I feel sick and my body freezes as my heart tries hard to leave my chest. The adrenaline junkie part of my brain was excited and eager, the rational part of me knew it was ok but the survival side locks my fingers in place and won’t let them uncurl no matter how much I will them to, guess it’s good to know it works.
That’s the thing with this; there is no push or jump, you simply have to have the courage to let go. I close my eyes and shut out the world, concentrate on my breathing. Be brave. It seems that time has frozen and that I’ve been stood on the edge forever; but before I know it, I’m falling.
A feeling of intense freedom and ecstatic happiness replaces fear as I become weightless.
The strip rushes up towards me growing larger and larger, my heart skips a beat, my eyes grow larger and my feet hit the ground with a sharp bump.

I had done it! With a feeling of pride and intense satisfaction I leave with my prize, a certificate declaring me no chicken!