This place is most definitely a place to party it up…. If you’re a beautiful skinny bitch in a $700 dress and stilettos that reach the sealing. The beaches are beautiful and clean, the ocean was gentle and the clouds were no where to be seen. I struggled to find a place where I could get in and party it up like we do back home. In saying this, there are plenty of bars that were more than happy to accept me for me, wearing my casual attire and take my money. Cheap ass drinks ie: 2 subbies for $5, rock music and free pool tables. So no dancing for me but still was nice to be around some chilled out people that were more than happy to tell me their life stories, even if I didn’t ask for it, LOL! I was very interesting to hear people’s struggles and success, opinions and different accents. This one place called Mac’s Club Deuces was the most dive bar I’ve been into (except the Cranka… nothing will top that place I don’t think) however the people were friendly and I won a couple games of pool which took a lot of guys for surprise… so much that they started to buy me drinks to continue playing. Clearly the more I drank the more I became shit at pool and said my goodbyes.
The Hostel I stayed in had a fun and social environment. Free pool tables and each night there was another Club to head out to. They had a spa in the middle of the common area which was a great idea if the water wasn’t a mangy green, clearly that didn’t stop some people! I met a couple great guys there, an ex Navy, an ex Marine and a local from San Fran who told me all about the places that I should of checked out while I was there. Was wishing that I had met him while I was there as it would have made the trip 10 x more fun that what it was, however I know for next time!
Sadly the dorm that I was in, the doors didn’t lock as it was ductape to prevent it from locking. The cleaners used this as a passage to get to the other side of the building for their cleaning equipment. So early walk ins couldn’t be prevented. Some Argentinians moved in on the last couple days there which I had a 99.9% suspicion that one of them stole my power travel adapter. When a French guy staying within the dorm found out that I was fuming and really fucked off about it, I’m sure he went and mentioned it to the guys cause within 24 hours later I found it stashed behind another guys clothes and the rubbish bin. Other than that, the hostel was priddy dope considering there was a bottle shop next door and a laundry mat only 1 block away too. Towards the end of my stay there, I met this cool guy from Spain where we chatted a lot about tattoo’s and travelling. He quickly became a friend and someone I could trust as he was about to talk to the Argentinians for me. However a couple beers later we started laughing about the stupid situation and chilled out over a game of pool. This guy had me in tears once I found out that his first name is JESUS. Definitely would love to meet him again over these travels.
The beach itself was a laugh and a half. They had a lot of those open air gym setups where you would be walking along the board walk and stop every 500 meters and see people doing chin-ups on the different height bars. The funniest thing I seen was this one setup where it was just one tall vertical pole and this short scrawny guy pole dancing on it. I was on the phone at the time and was trying to control my laughter as it was terrible but he was strong enough to make it to the top of the 9 foot pole. The beach itself was very clean, in fact, Miami is one of the cleanest cities within the states. Every 100 meters there was another area setup by the hotels with sunbeds, umbrella’s etc. The weather was soooo nice, but the sun had a strong bite to it.
On my 3rd day there I organised to get onto those hop on – hop off bus tours throughout Miami Beach and Miami greater city. This had an audio tour which fully detailed all areas we drove through and explained certain areas, building etc. I got off at Little Havanna – a large Cuban suburb where people were playing dominos under a gazebo, people smoking massive cigars and all the signs are in Spanish. There was factories that you could enter and watch people hand roll cigars which was awesome to know but sadly I only found this out as I got back onto the bus and missed this opportunity. I went into the world famous Versailles restaurant which was absolutely packed. Sitting alone within this place definitely draw a lot of attention towards myself as I didn’t speak Spanish either. The waiter handed me a menu and then asked me in Spanish if I spoke Spanish. I kindly replied no and he then returned with an English menu. Another woman came up to me and asked if she could use my phone as she was needing to speak to someone local. 2 seconds later she tries to use it and then tells me that my phone wasn’t working as she wanted to call 911 as she was having a dispute with the manager as they seem to think that she didn’t pay her bill. I was like hell no im not getting involved and the manager came to us and told her to leave me alone as I was wanting to eat my meal. Seriously I have some neon sign on my head that says come talk to me and get me involved in sticky situations because I don’t have anything better to do. As most people know that I tend to have this imaginary sign turned on as soon as I leave my house, no matter which state or country, club, bar or even a clothing store I go to, it’s on and people need to speak to me… for whatever reason. Funny most times but other times it just gets annoying. I wish I knew where the off switch was at times ;)
Anyways, Miami in total was a nice place to visit but I don’t think this would be a place to live as it is very expensive and its soooooooo big, where travelling between places during peak out traffic can take up to 2 hours at times. During the tour though, I did get to see where Al Capone use to live and another bunch of stars live or use to live on Star Island. We also drove past Madonna’s hotel which is completely white in and out, all staff wear white and the decor is all in white even the black goods…. We also drove past this night club that was originally started by Prince called the Metro. Towards the end of the Beach tour we drive passed Miami Ink. I had completely forgotten that this place was only 9 blocks away from where I was staying, so the following day I went in to check out the shop. I met Roy and Yoji. I was lucky enough to get a walk in and score a piece by Roy. He was such a lovely guy, always saying positive things about the shit customers and on lookers that come into the store in Miami and where he’s normally based in London. He gave me his card and was looking forward to see me in his store when we hit London. I can’t wait to get another piece by him as his work is totally amazing, pain free and quick!
During my first day at the hostel, I met the woman that ran all the club outings and she mentioned that all nights bar Friday nights, all women need to be dressed up and in heels to get into any club. To my disappointment I was clearly not going to waste my time or money trying to get into any of these places. However Friday night I made the effort to go to their “Hip Hop” night club. Leaving by 11pm was a struggle as that time rolled around I was tired but slamming a couple red bulls sorted me out. I was the only English speaking person within the group of 12 we had. All the others were German, and with a name like Mooshie, it was definitely a good laugh for them. For all that don’t know, Mooshie in German means Vagina. So it was laughs all around. By the time we get there, security held the line for no apparent reason as the place was empty. I mean COMPLETELY EMPTY. The open bar (which was included in the $25 cost) was a clear spirit mixed with juice. To me, I think it was a mixture of vodka and rum, it was bloody terrible and it was free poured so it was petrol mixed with juice. I managed to get a glass into me before I need a litre of water to get rid of that terrible taste out of my mouth. The music was NOT Hip Hop but in fact RnB and some Funk, I spose it wasn’t ok but clearly not what I was expecting. There were VIP tables setup within the middle of the club with Hookah’s setup on it. A bunch of chicks were smoking INSIDE, and I was silly enough to go to the security guard and ask if it was ok to smoke inside too. He pointed me to go outside… oddly enough I went out and had my smoke. Trying to get back in was a fucking nightmare. Made me line up again when there were 30 people in the line, re-checked my ID and then patted me down while I was standing out the front the whole bloody time. By the time I get back in, every bar tender wanted to pour me that shit drink again which was frustrating cause they clearly couldn’t understand “ No thank you, but a beer please” I lasted another whole drink aka 5 min before I bailed on the group and walked 4 blocks over to meet Sam (ex Marine) for a beer at Club Deuces. I had such a great time at the bar than that club and it was hell cheap.
To my unlucky success again, this neon sign on my head was in full swing at the hostel. An elderly Chinese lady came up to me and spoke in Chinese. I had no fucking idea what she was on about. The hostel guys were telling me that she was around asking them stuff too but no one knew what the hell she was on about. After working with her for about 30 min I got a number out of her to call her brother. She spoke maybe 5 words in English. I called her brother and told him the deal and put her onto him. We managed to work out she was alone and needed to get to Stockton (where ever that it, but I knew it wasn’t in Florida) She was completely frustrated which is totally understandable. After the phone call and trying to download an app that translated her voice to English text, she began to cry. I felt so damn sorry for her and asked her if she wanted a tea/coffee. She kept pushing me away and so I left her to it in the kitchen. A couple people I met in the bar area told me they found her outside sitting in the dirt of the medium strip and drawing in it with a rock. I told them to leave her be and I will check on her in a minute. Within 30 seconds, she walked back in smiling. We all had a bit of a laugh but all were happy to know she was ok and safe.
The next morning it occurred to me that within their culture they practise the art of Zen. I’m glad she was ok. But that morning was yet a repeat of yesterday’s efforts, frustration and wanting my help. I found a fellow traveller who was managed to google translate for her and help her book a ticket to Tampa (which was originally DC only 24 hours ago) get her a ticket on the train and booked a cab for her. I’m glad that someone could help her because I was doing my best but without any success. All of us within my dorm and within the next one beside me were all annoyed at the fact that her brother allowed his sister to come to this country with very little English and leave her to her own devices. Towards the end of this day we found out that she lost her keys for her suite case and her locker. I was able to help and showed her how to open the bag without breaking the lock and zip. The German girl in her dorm was in shock as how easy it was to get into the bag without a key and only using a pen! We had to get the bolt cutters for her locker sadly but she wasn’t alone. There was another girl within her dorm that had done the same thing. As a team effort, we managed to get her to the Amtrak station and that was the last of seeing the nameless elderly Asian woman.
6 days in Miami Beach was more than enough for me as a solo traveller but I’m sure there would have been more things to do and enjoy with a group of friends. Soooo the next stop is Myrtle Beach, to the freezing cold as I knew they had snow only a day before it was time for me to leave. Crackin out the hoodies as I haven’t seen one in nearly 3 months!
