earthly erudition

The seatbelt signs have been turned on and the airplane has already begun a noticeable descent. Up and down the aisle loud and chatty men of all ages are standing or walking, waving their arms in heated conversation. Every one of them is wearing what looks to be a brand new white dish dash, and a fancy headdress.

It is Eid al-Fitr, the great feast at the end of Ramadan and we are quickly approaching a festive Egypt. Since I am on my first solo trip to a new country, I am in the mood for celebrating. We plunge down into the heat of Cairo and immediately my senses are overrun by an eruption of sound and movement. Suddenly everyone wants my attention. Policemen, taxi drivers, hotel owners, I am now everybody’s friend. I love it! Soon, ‘’my friend’’ Nasser and I are off to see a ‘’very cheap’’ hotel he knows.

Fast-forward through the electrifying cab ride from the airport to the city. Fast-forward on a four-lane highway turned into a seven-lane free-for-all tearing towards the city. This is motorized mayhem.

We pull off the highway into a dimly lit district. It is well after midnight and most storefronts are covered up with dark steel doors decorated in graffiti. We stop in front of a seedy looking doorway leading to a large wooden staircase. Next to it, a faded stencil of a female pharaoh wearing a gas mask looks down upon me. Nasser grins and motions me upstairs.

The hotel manager is watching TV, sitting in a messy little alcove that looks like a utility closet. He wordlessly shows me to a door down the hall and holds up the five thick fingers on his right hand to indicate how many dollars this will set me back for the night.

He opens the door and I am overcome by a strange, musky smell coming from the room. Reluctantly I peer inside and see that the amenities consist of a single bed, a sink with a mirror and a closet with a missing door. The dirty sink has some nasty looking stains covered in places by dead bugs. The mirror is completely coated in thick pale splatters, evidence of a vile amalgamation of good oral hygiene and terrible housekeeping.

Fearfully I inspect the bed and find that the tattered blanket matches the stained, torn, and hair-covered sheets. Overcome by exhaustion and feeling improperly parsimonious, I agree to take the room.

Sometime during the long, noisy, smelly, mosquito-infested night, as I tried to laugh myself to sleep, I knew that I would never forget my twenty-third birthday.