So this all came about when my best friend decided to go and see her new love in DC for 12 months. Lost and confused from just having my own heart broken from my ex/now/kindof boyfriend from New York, i decidied there was no point in sitting around Melbourne waiting for life to start. I needed to grab it by the balls and go for what's really this all about. What is love about, and can I do something as a career that isn't just insurance!! So decided then and there. Quit my job, sold my car, notified my room mates...I'M MOVING TO CANADA! A spreadsheet of dates, saving and complicated visa issues later (yes, you need a B2 visa! NOT THE VWP) I was ready to stroll out of town and head on a flight to JFK where I see what's to lie ahead.
6 months ago i was to take the same flight, though that time was to get married to the 'love of my life' for him to be able to move back to Australia. A week out of that trip I had my intution screaming at me something wasn't right- I did some searching and low and behold the man that I was to wed had been kissing another girl, in my own hometown. I cancelled my flights, cancelled my love life and went to Woodford folkfestival with my adoring sisters to heal.
The thing with love is, its not a switch and no matter how we go about it, we can't control what or when true love is going to happen to us. Sure he fucked up in a major way and got caught, but I myself is not angel and would be lying to pretend I still didn't love this man. Am I going to be as loyal as I once was? Probably not? Will we be able to get through this? I don't know. Can I still be with him the same way? NO CLUE. And that's why I need to do this. To see this man who has shown me how human I am with so many feelings of hurt and love for another....its time to discover without judgement where this will go. Even writing this, my stomach has gone in a knot. But I can't tip toe to the boarder of Canada without facing my fears....my fear is in him.
THEN and only then will I be able to go onto the adventures of the world, with or without him by my side. Either way, I won't be sitting at this desk pretending to work for another day!
Let the adventures begin!
