Do these Pants make my butt look big?

As I ran down the streets of Pamplona, being chased by seven angry bulls, I couldn't help but think- “My butt must look huge in these white pants!” Clearly, the traditional white outfit for Spain's running of the bulls was chosen by a man. A woman would have selected a more flattering color, maybe something with vertical stripes?!

However, right then my big butt was the least of my problems. I was surrounded by a mob of chaotic people on a narrow and claustrophobic street, praying I didn't get gored by the beasts behind me - but loving every minute of it. Suddenly, one bull got separated from the others. It became disoriented and began to panic. I locked eyes with the enormous creature in front of me and could see the terror in its big brown eyes. I wonder if it could see the terror in mine? He began to charge. Franticly, I pushed my way through the crowd trying to escape. I could hear the bull's hoofs slipping on the cobblestones behind me as I tripped and crashed into a wooden barrier. All of a sudden running with the bulls didn’t seem like such a great idea. But the bull, perhaps out of sympathy, changed direction and ran toward the stadium. I stood up, regained my composure and exhaled the breath I was unaware I had been holding. My mind was in a fog, unsure and in disbelief about what had just happened.

The next thing I knew I was being pushed toward the stadium with the momentum of the mob. I could hear the spectators chanting for the runners as we poured through a narrow tunnel into the wide open stadium. Once inside, the atmosphere was electrifying. The sea of traditional white garments in the stands was blinding as it brightly reflected Spain’s morning sun. I felt drops of sticky warm Sangria pouring down on me from above and it was as if I was being bathed in the energy of the crowd. I closed my eyes and breathed in the stale smell of human sweat as it mingled with the sweet aroma of the red wine trickling down my neck. With each breath, I felt stronger, happier, and more alive. In that moment, all of my insecurities faded away. In that moment, I was invincible. I had survived the running of the bulls. Now who do I talk to about getting them to switch from these awful white pants?