Sorry its been so long since we last wrote - about a month - especially to dad who I know has been checking frequently but all I can say is that the internet in Viet Nam is pants. Which means this is gonna be a long one so make sure you are sat down with a nice cup of tea and a biscuit......preferably a Bourbon.
So, Viet Nam. We are used to not wearing our shoes in shops and guesthouses and cafes by now. We are also used to weeing squatted or in Mikes case, standing over skybomber toilets. But Viet Nam takes the biscuit. Most public toilets dont have doors and anyone walking past can see everything. Sometimes theres not even a pair of bricks for you to squat on just a drain in the corner of the floor. Nice. The other thing I love about Viet Nam is that its a long thin country which means that we have spent in total nearly 100 hours on a bus. The worst bit about travelling is the travelling! The thing I do like though is that they seperate all their words by syllables so that our names would be Mi Chael and An Na Bel from Car Diff. Quirky huh?
Anyway, we left Laos the day after boxing day after spending a nice drunken xmas with Bonnie, Tyler, Emma and Andy [Canadians and Australians respectively] Unfortunately the only affordabke route for us was by bus from Vientienne to Hanoi and this took 24 hours. 24 hours on a sitting bus is not my idea of a fun trip at the best of times but this was something else. It comprised of the most beaten up coach you can imagine with ripped seats and stains I dont want to think about. We decided to sit on the back seats so that we could at least spread out a bit and try and sleep. Not possible. A local family decided they were gonna move their entire house to Nam and put it all on the back seat next to us so not only was there us and our backpacks but also several huge bags of rice, household goods, portable fans and massive bags of metal next to us. This did not make for a comfortable journey. You can imagine my face, and when they asked us to move over a bit more for more of their crap I gave them one of my looks which was enough for the little man to bugger off. So not only were we crammed in but because there were some spaces on the bus the drivers constantly flagged down locals all the way to fill the seats so that they could get a back hander. Yet more crap filled the bus and I seriously wanted to never travel again. Anyway, the worst part was at the Laos/Viet Nam border which was so scary. Being a Communist country there was about a million soldiers with guns and sniffer dogs. Then, because my passport is so old and battered from years of being I.D this horrible soldier decided it was a fake and started picking it apart with his horrible long, yellow fingernail. He kept staring up at me then pulling the corner off. I had images of being carted off to jail which prompted me to get my hair off a bit which Mike said made me look even more guilty, I felt like a drug runner or something. Scary. We eventually got through and carried on to Ha Noi all battered and bruised from going round steep mountainous roads on two wheels.
So to Ha Noi - the most craziest city in Nam. We stayed in the Old Quarter which is a popular backpacking haunt and have now learned what crossing the road means. Every road is jammed with the Vietnameses favourite form of transport - the motorbike. I didnt even think cars existed there for ages. When 50 bikes are coming straight for you the key is to walk really slowly and stare at them in the eye then they manage to swerve at the last minute. Otherwise you would stay on one side of the road for your entire stay or be dead. We had a nice hostel there with tv for 5 quid a night which was good seeing as the hostel we pre-booked and paid a deposit for didnt actually exist. Whilst there we visited Hoa Lo prison where the French imprisoned the Vietnamese and where later, the American POWs were kept. Not a pretty place, especially the nice big guillotine with pictures of what it did next to it. It was an eye opener thats for sure. We also went to the Ethnology centre and climbed around tribal village huts and stuff and watched loads of people getting their wedding pictures taken there in traditional Vietnamese dress. For New Years Eve we treated ourselves to a boat trip at Halong Bay which involved two days on a boat looking at caves and pearl farms and Kyacking - how do you spell that? - in the sea. In the evening the boat crew threw us a NYE party with champagne and kareoke. And yes I did sing, and yes it was out of tune Mrs Morgan. The funny thing was, because they have a separate new year they didnt really understand the concept of ours which meant that every hour on the hour they opened more champagne, said Happy New Year, shook everyones hands and played Abba 'Happy New year', a song we shall never forget. At least they tried and it meant more and more champagne for us so we didnt mind really. I did drunkenly swap Mike for a bottle of Vodka with one of the little Vietnamese ladies but when she said she was gonna ring her father to arrange the swap I came quickly to my senses! Mike wasnt bothered either way I think!
So after 5 nights in Ha Noi we bought an open bus ticket to enable us to travel the whole way south and left for Hue. We actually paid extra for a sleeping bus after the 24 hour nightmare and managed the 14 hours in relative comfort. We wish we hadnt bothered. Hue was a dirty, grotty place with rain. The only saving grace was a cafe called Mandarin run by a man named Mr Cu. He is a famous-ish photographer in Nam and we bought two pictures, one for our imaginary bathroom and one for our imaginary stairway. He also signed them for us which was really sweet. As soon as we got to Hue we booked our coach out of there and just spent a day wandering around the Imperial City where the Emperor used to live and saw somw old war tanks and guns which we happily clambered over despite the do not climb sign.
After only a 4 hour bus trip this time we got to Hoi An, one of the most beautiful places in Viet Nam. Its a little oldy worldy town with a beach 3km away and little cobbled old streets. Its also THE place in Nam to get clothes custom made. Mikey got a fitted shirt made and I got 2 pairs of trousers, a dress and a pair of trainers. I am a lady, I am allowed more. Anyway we loved it so much there that we stayed an entire week and ate gourmet meals for 1.50. We made Tam Tams, a bar, our second home and cycled back and for to the beach. Bliss.
After I grew fat we decided it was best to move on and got the 12 hour sitting bus to Nha Trang. Nha Trang is a beachside resort with lots of water activities and beach side bars - all of which we could not afford but it was fun to walk around. We met up with Bonnie and Tyler again and along with 2 of their friends we went to the local mud baths where you just literally sit in a big bath of mud and pour it all over yourself porn star style. You then let it dry in the sun and wash it off with mineral spa water. Its really hard being us! The next day the 4 of us went on a boat party cruise where we were able to snorkel in the sea and saw massive blue starfish and even a little Nemo! The coral was amazing and now Mike wants to do his diving certificate when we get back to Thailand. After snorkelling the guys on the boat threw a little party where self proclaimed Vietnams best boy band played songs from all the countries of the people on the boat. For us he sang Yellow Submarine because he said Wales was Same Same as England. The Cheek!! Anyway he got Mike and Tyler up on stage who then performed a very nice dance for us all. Hee Hee. Me and Bonnie were in tears of laughter. We then all jumped in the sea and lazed in floats while the guy set up a sea bar and gave us all disgusting red wine with a bit of pineapple floating in it. It was fabulous! On a serious note we went and ate at a place called Crazy Kims which takes kids off the street who have been victims of peadophillia and by doing so we contributed to helping the cause. See, its not all fun and alcohol.
Onto Da Lat, an 8 hour journey on yet another bus. Supposedly a place like the Alps with fir trees and mountains. More a rainy little place with nothing to do. We spent 2 nights and one full day only in our cheapest place yet - 2.50 a night - and just wandered around the local market which actually felt like real Viet Nam not commercialised Viet Nam. On one stall a lady was selling sweets made from fruits which tasted like crap but because she gave us some Vietnamese tea we felt we should buy some. A short while later we both sat down to dinner and started feeling awfully weird and spased out. Im convinced she drugged us but Mike said it was dehydration and that I shouldnt say this in case the folks get worried. We also visited a really random place called the Crazy House which does what it says on the tin. Its a mass maze of rooms with plastic creatures in it such as a giant spider web and a great big kangaroo with glowing red eyes. Very Vietnam, not! So after just one day we got the 10 hour bus to Ho Chi Minh City.
Ho Chi Minh City or Sai Gon as everyone still calls it, in defiance, was not what I thought. For some reason we thought it would still be effected by the war but its a big bustling crazy city. The only place we could find to stay had a room on the 6th floor with no lift.There was also no means of escape in a fire which greatly distressed my Health and Safety officer and he lay awake the first night planning how we would get out. I can see your face clearly as you read this Phil! It was so high up that they had to hoist our bags up on a great big winch! Whilst there we were hoping to see more things related to the war or the 'Anti American War' as they call it here. So we went to the War Remenents Museum which was a shocking experience. The walls were lined with hundreds of photos from the war of torture, blown up bodies and women and children who had been shot by the Americans. It really brought it home and made us look at all the older people in the streets with more respect and wonder about what they have been through. We also didnt realise that the Americans used chemical warfare called Agent Orange which cause a large number of physical disabilities and limb loss. It was a sombre day and opened our eyes a lot. The next day we went to a local market with local people but right in the bowels of it was a section for westerners with old war memrobilia for sale. Mike got a lighter used by the North Vietnamese and I got a medical corps badge. To brighten up our day we went to see the Water Puppets in the evening. Its an ancient tradition where the puppeteers hide behind a bamboo screen and the puppets emerge out of the water. We laughed like 2 year olds and it was fab. The best bit about Saigon was the day trip we made to the Cu Chi Tunnels where the American Tunnel Rats fought against the Viet Cong. The tunnels which have been widened for the public were really small and actually look larger in the photos than they were. Both being claustrophobic it was not a good idea but we both made it through 90 metres of the tunnel system on hands and knees at times with not a single panic attack between us. We are so so proud! How they lived like that for years and years I do not know. We also saw the booby traps they set for the Americans and God it makes you glad that no-one you know was there and had to experience that madness. A very properganderous - is that a word? - video was also shown praising the 'American Killer Hereos' and completely making the war look like it was just about America against the whole of Nam. Very communist video me thinks. Look at the photos though they are fab.
Our next step was to get into Cambodia and we decided to travel via the Mekong Delta which is where the largest amount of rice is made in Nam and after Thailand the place with the largest export of rice to the world. This consisted of a 3 day, 2 night trip through the delta with another slow boat to get us across the border. There is just too much to say and the pics say it all. Basically it was an amazing time with little boat trips through islands, visiting fruit orchards, drinking rice whiskey and eating rice honey. We also held a giant python which gave me the willies coz it was wrapping its body up under my armpit and around my back. The double chin on the pic is most embarrassing but Mikes gloriously happy face more than makes up for it. Which leads me to tell you what he did next. Mike ate a SNAKE! with its scales on and everything. I was only eating noodle soup at the time but I retched my way through it all the same coz he was chewing on a goddamn snake next to me for christs sake! He said it was nice... Moving on.... we also did a homestay and stayed with locals on the side of the river and slept in a big spider and mosquito infested room with holes everywhere. A bit basic but it meant we had food with the family and got to go to the local school in the morning and chat to the children. A visit to the local floating market was fab too with fresh pineapple bought off the boat next to us. Before crossing the border we finished up with a trip to a crocodile farm, a fish farm and a visit to a local minority village where they dressed us both up in local clothes, veree attractive! The slow boat took 7 hours but lots of the local people of Cambodia were out on the riverside bathing and washing their oxes and things and all the children were waving and shouting 'hello, goodbye' from the riverbank. Mike, after consuming a good amount of rice whiskey thought this was fab and spent the entire time stood at the edge of the boat waving and waving his arms off. We actually had a nice cross at the border and nobody threatened to jail me and we are now in Cambodia.
So sorry this has been so long, I told you to have tea and biscuits with you and you were also allowed toilet breaks too.
Oh and just to finish, well done to my brother Brian and Lisa for having Libby Watson this month, their second little girl and for Lisa being so brave having Brian deliver her! xxxx
Also good news, Jon Kel and Laura are coming out to meet us in Melbourne for a road trip. YEAH! so if any of Mikeys friends have got the travel itch you are free to meet us anywhere.
Happy birthday to Jakey for tomorrow too xxxxx
