Thanks for joining us as we continue our journey of enlightment through Thailand. Today's topic, "Driving in Thailand". (Buddee, after text consultation with Fred, he did not recommend a moped, I am not a confident driver, the roads, if something goes wrong etc... Thank GOD).
Renting a Jeep in Thailand is very cost effective. Without even showing your driver's license, you can rent a Jeep, for a whole day, for 900 Baht. For those not fluent in Asian currencies that is 13 pounds. And what a bargain, you get almost 1 special feature for every pound.
1) Entertainment - No radio or any other electronic device - the jeep is completely stripped.
2) Seat belt free zone - Technically, they are there and you hear the distinctive 'click' but, as I discovered, when you lean forward the belt pops out.
3) Manual Door - In order to open the door from the inside you have to lift the door handle and then shove your shoulder against the door in order to open it, it sticks every so slightly.
4) Free exercise program - For those in their 30s you will have faint memories of cars without power steering. Well, my arms don't and I certainly udnerstand how my SAAB turns on a dime. This vehicle require a 3 point turn jsut to make the slightest turn.
5) Brakes - A parking brake that I going to pretend worked.
6) Rust - Not the colour of the car, but the bits that surround the holes where the metal has eaten away.
7) Wipers - Wipers that do NOT do what they say on the tin. Critical when you have monsoon rain three times during your journey.
8) Windows - Forget electronic windows when you can roll them up yourself, literally. Since the knob is gone, you can attempt to roll it up with just the handle. Since it rolls up at an angle that misses the door, you have to help / pull it up into place. Make a game of it when the monsoon rains begin and you do not want to get soaked - time yourself, fun for everyone.
9) Security - Who needs it? Nowhere to put anything if you step away from the vehicle. Good thing you are in a place that is familiar and that you blend with the locals.
10) Brake & Gas - Pedals that are in desperare need of WD40, sounds that are coming out that are enough to make a dog wince.
11) Thai GPS system - No map. You are a foreigner on a strange island ... who needs a map.
AND ....
11) Power of Petrol - Cute little Thai trvael girl hands me the keys and giggles, no gas, must fill up now. So you find your way to a petrol station. And not the 'local mom & pop' stations that sell petrol in 1 litre old Johnnie Walker bottles by the side the the road. Did you know they come in different colours. Anyway, you have no idea how much gas to use and you worry that you will be stuck in a remote part of the island combined with the fact that you have no idea the gas mileage ... so you fill it up .... and then return the Jeep with half a tank. Genius - forget Power of the Penny - this is genius. For every car rental, they have the vehicle returned with gas so they actaully get an additional 40-50% revenue.
Now to share what I actaully learnt ...
1) Who needs a map? It is an island - how can you possibly get lost! In fact. there is only one main road!!! And get this, it is a big circle that goes around the island! It is like a tram line. The road name.... Route 4169. ?? Who are you kidding, YOU HAVE ONE ROAD> Call it Route 1.
PS still managed to go in a few circles when I went off Route 1 into the villages even though I could see the road on one side and the sea on the other.
2) No red lights - do we really need them in Europe. SO much faster without them.
3) Monsoon rain - Do NOT drive quickly through monsoon rain flooded roads since it splashes up on the windshield and then you cannot see since the wipers are in fact decoation only.
4) Let cars built in the last 10 years pass you by pulling aside and driving slowly.
5) No matter where you go, you still have idiots that speed.
AAnd that closes this edition of Driving in Thailand. Can you imagine if I had rented a moped. Dios Mio.
xo AAR
