A trip around the world without the costly airfare

At first, Shanshan and I hated each other. She was newly transplanted from China. I was an American girl. Even our most basic conversations deteriorated to the level of competing elementary schoolers. "You Americans are so..." she'd begin, following the ellipses with a wildly prejudiced statement. Her other favorite conversation starter began with these four words: "In China we'd never...."

At the time, we were both broke. She was a graduate student. I had just figured out I wanted to spend my life writing. We worked together in an afterschool program for rich kids in Detroit.

I'd never thought of myself as patriotic, but our discussions raised my hackles every time. The two Korean women we worked with laughed at my frustration. "Don't get so upset. All Chinese are like that," they'd say.

Shanshan told me later, that the first day we became friends she wrote about it in her diary. I'm not sure what did it. I think I let go of the competiveness her comments brought out in me and saw them for what they were - a completely different culture trying to better coalesce with mine. Or maybe we both finally realized that the other's culture wasn't right or wrong, but each were hugely interesting.

Granted, I didn't travel anywhere to come to this realization - I didn't have the money. I've known Shanshan for ten years now and I still thank her for teaching me at home what I've taken away from every overseas trip I've gone on since:

Nothing is more special in this life than those times when you experience it the way another culture does because to truly appreciate your life, it's essential to step outside it. Sometimes this doesn't require a plane ticket. Just the eyes of another.

For the record, Shanshan's conversations still begin with, "You Americans...talk so loudly in the office... have it easy when you name your children" Now, I hold my tongue and wait. I know what follows - how we Chinese do it - is a look into a culture I can only hope to one day visit.