Fighting Fear-ce

It was Friday night in my hostel room; I was alone.
Wavering and thumbing through a pamphlet for Berlin’s ‘Alternative Pub Crawl’ anxiously dissecting its words.
I was torn between excessive implausible scenarios; I stared outside at the sinking sun. I knew I needed to go; to feed my soul with Berlin’s bewildering world of audacious nightlife.

The two halves of my brain fought and examined ‘what ifs’ on the S-Bahn and to the tour’s meeting point. I hoped for some kind of sign to turn back, there was nothing.
I pulled the bar door open, my heart hammering underneath my coat. I heard someone say, ‘yeah, I saw the flyer at my hostel’.
Dammit.
I mustered a faux-confidence ‘is this the alternative pub crawl?’ as an awkward conversation starter. A reassuring ‘yep!’ was the consensus. As we made small talk about our travels our trepidations finally dwindled.

The tour ventured between Berlin’s eccentricities: a night of normality to locals was filled with wonder and secrecy. 1am: the belly of the night, some had surrendered, but us who remained knew what we wanted - ready for its grand reveal.
Our guide huddled us in, ‘OK, I’ve got something for you guys that I think you’ll enjoy.’ Like a gatekeeper of a underworld lurking in basements and caves, continually fighting for the night.

Our train skimmed along, our endpoint seemed far removed from any bars.

The destination was a public swimming pool.
A pool?
We exchanged looks of: I-Have-No-idea-But-Just-Go-With-It.
Our guide led the way to an underground world, grinning as we approached a ladder. It rattled with the thump of a heavy bass. Every step pulsating through my insides as the music moved through me.
Beams of green and red lights poked through between the downstairs and above ground and filled the underside of this pool; without them would have been an industrial sized chemical room.
Pipes were running along the ceiling and against the thick brick walls. This wide-open space contained over 100 people consumed by rave music. Transfixed by deep blue lights; free, dancing underwater.
My eyes darted and buzzed to keep up with my surroundings. Shapes moved and light scattered and trickled as it hit a target. People danced as their bodies changed and twisted and deformed with the changing lights.
My eyes tricked by the light as I danced towards it - inhibitions gone.

The night that - amongst fear, anxiety and terror - I battled Berlin: it played with my fears, but I had won.