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The Tales of a Pisspot and a Worrywort!

And you thought stone henge was unimpressive...

LAOS | Saturday, 9 July 2011 | Views [765] | Comments [3]

So we are now in Vientiane the capital of Laos (i don't know why they spell it with the "S" it pronounced Lao) one of the most unimpressive Cities i think i have been to yet baring Phonsavan, Phonsavan had about three streets and 90% of the shops where boarded up making it very hard to do anything. Our guest house was extremely unpleasant with the fact that the walls were made out of one sheet of 12mm MDF sheeting which has no sound, insulation or bug protection whatsoever, this wouldn't have been so bad if there was anything at all to do in this town.

When we arrived it soon became quite apparent that westerners weren't a common sight in these parts of Laos with many young children running and hiding behind their parents and the ones who were a little more adventurous pointing and laughing. We did however go and have a look at a few interesting sights one of these was the "amazing" plain of jars, it was a collection of jars ranging in sizes from about 1/2 a wine barrel to a full wine barrel they were made about 500 years ago and obviously were just as impressive then as they were now because they decided to leave them in a paddock (Lea was more impressed than myself, with that constant clicking of her bloody camera), one of the other sights we visited was an airstrip used by the Americans during the Vietnam war this one was more impressive when we realised that they hadn't cleared away the un-exploded ordinance (UXO) that are released from a cluster bomb. (these balls make up most of the problem in Laos with actual land mines making up only 1% of the injuries and UXO's accounting for the other 99%).

After being told this fact we looked down and realised there we were standing not 5 feet away from 4 Bombies as they call them that each have a blast radius of about 25 meters and contain 100's of ball bearings, in saying this they have been there for 30 years and havent exploded yet however the thought of being that close to one made my testicles contract and i felt like they were about to enter my lower intestine, due to this feeling Lea and I decided it was time to turn around and walk the exact same path back to the car, (we already know that path was safe). After our close encounter with the bombies we were taken to a village where they use the shell casings that fall away when the cluster bomb is released to build their houses (hows that for irony using what once destroyed their homes to create new ones). Next we traveled to a cave that was used as a hospital by the viet kong the floor was littered with empty morphine bottles. That was the conclusion of that tour time to go home and wait for the 3rd trip down the road of doom... again.

So we are back on the road in a VIP bus (all that means is that the seats recline) that hardly fits on the road by itself this make the journey toe curling and sphincter clenching to say the least. At one point whilst going around a 210 degree corner a semi decided that it had waited long enough and was going to try and pass us in the opposite direction, there wasn't so much of an accident more just the semi scraping down the side of the bus and taking off the side rear vision mirror this didnt seem to disturb the driver to much as i dont believe he used either of the mirrors any way as the one that wasn't broken off was pointing at the ground, oh have i mentioned that the bus we were on wound have most likely been defected in Australia about 30 years ago when the front door fell off, they had re attached the front door however it didnt seem to close properly. At the end of the day we got to our destination to discover that there was monsoonal rain and we decided to head south this afternoon. we are currently safe and sound and all is well in the world.

until next time

R&L

 

Comments

1

Certainly sounds like you're having a few entertaining adventures!

  Jill Jul 9, 2011 3:28 PM

2

Dear Ray and Lea

Wonderful to hear that Ray's balls are still intact after your encounter with the bombies. Life in downtown Sutton staggers on. It is bloody miserable weather. Mum insists on stinking Sal and pissy Bas being inside because of the cold. Have you got to shoot an AK47 yet? Hope you are having fun and make sure you keep your bowels open.

love

Mick and Gwen the pommy turd

  Mick and Gwen the pommy turd Jul 10, 2011 4:50 PM

3

Bahaha! Freaking hilarious! Loving your death defying adventures!

Although slightly disappointed that there aren't any poo stories yet...what's with that Ray??? lol

Missing you guys heaps, but glad to hear you're having one hell of an adventure

Much love to you both

Rach and Brock xoxox

  Rachie Jul 11, 2011 12:34 PM

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