The Key.

How did I end up feeling this way? Jealous. Jealous of other people’s experiences when I was supposedly doing the same thing? Discovering the world in attempt to... discover myself? That’s right isn’t it?

The only way to understand how I got myself into this predicament is to go back to the beginning of “the experience of a lifetime” – study abroad. I didn’t tell anyone I was moving to England. Well... almost nobody. By that, I mean I didn’t tell Facebook. I couldn’t avoid stressing my anxieties to my friends or my excitement to co-workers. Each time I would be met with an exclamation mixed with jealousy and appraisal. “Do I follow you on Instagram? I’ll find you! I want to be jealous of all your photos.”

Thinking about telling people I was leaving for study abroad wasn’t the only concern on my mind: how would I document this entire move? Well, photos obviously. But once taken, what would I do with them? As a media student I’ve always had my bases covered: Facebook, instagram, twitter, blogs. You name a platform and I would have it. However, as I posted my last instagram update finally informing people of my move, something didn’t feel right. Why was I sharing this? Did I really need to update them on my life, or was I updating them for a reason to be jealous of it? I don’t want to make people jealous. Jealously just leads to comparison, which often leads to unhappiness. Maybe the way I would share my photos was to not share them at all.

Travel is often seen as a key to becoming a better person or to unlocking a better life. When we travel, it feels as though we search for this key endlessly, pleadingly wanting to meet this new us and to find answers to our deepest questions like who will we be in the future and where will we go in life. This may work for some, but often I feel as though the key is in yourself. Rather than trying to understand yourself. Try and understand the world.

This is an exert from the story I wrote for this piece that ran dramatically longer than expected to find the rest of 'The Key.' go to laurapolsonmedia.wordpress.com