Best decision ever

It’s funny, how memory works. Sometimes it’s a color, a particular piece of clothing, a smell, or maybe even the actual thing you’re doing that gets remembered. In this particular case, it’s the feeling that stuck, and still brings me back to that afternoon: vertigo - that feeling in the pit of my stomach, like someone yanked the floor beneath my feet. It was a late June afternoon, and so much time had gone by since I sent the application, it was a completely unexpected e-mail.

In that instant, anticipation and excitement were overshadowed with the fear of rejection, the anxiety of not being good enough. After all, the other chance, the easier, better chance, had flown out the window weeks before: I did not have the profile they were seeking, and I should move on. Therefore, I was seriously considering my next move; it was time to stop procrastinating (“teaching English is not appropriate for someone who holds a degree in Economics”), and start thinking seriously about my future.

But, there it was, blinking on the screen, the email that would change my life: they were giving me money to go abroad an study for 18 months. Then came the aftershock. Was it really me they chose? Could I do it? More importantly, should I? And how? Leaving my cozy and settled life? Not only moving out for the first time, but to a different country, even more, a different continent, one ocean away. Was I ready for it?All those doubts slowly gave way to a certainty. Not only was I ready, I had been waiting for this opportunity my entire life. It was meant to happen, because I had made it happen.

The airport was so busy, it was an early flight, but because of the season (late August, which meant all those American and European tourists should get back to their lives), busy already. Tearful goodbyes, be safes, we’ll talk every day, and we will visit soon, just faded as I settled in my window seat.18 hours, 2 planes and a book later, all I could feel was dread: will they be waiting for me? What if they’re not? And then the excitement: I was finally there, in my new town, for the next 18 months.

That Sunday morning I could actually smell the fall coming in the air, and sitting on that guardrail, contemplating the empty streets of my new hometown, I plunged into a new adventure, a new city, country, continent; and learned that travel is nothing more than a journey of self discovery.