Reflections of a Sri-Lankan born Australian amid the chaos of Madrid

A decision to move to the other side of the world, where I didn’t speak the language nor know anything about the culture or what to expect seemed an incredibly brave thing to do. Yet the reality didn’t hit until I arrived, and I am yet to comprehend the entirety of my presence here in this beautiful chaos that is Madrid. The first few weeks seem a distant blur removed from what I had previously defined as ‘normal life’; a perplexing period where all the senses were on overdrive, thirsty to soak in all the nuances of this new environment in an attempt to find my place within it.
There were many moments when the word ‘brave’ for my decision could have easily been replaced with ‘out-of-my-mind-stupid’; many if not all conversations beginning with “hables ingles?” (Do you speak English?), closely followed by the thought “Ah fuck, here we go” as I got my usual response of “Ah little” (No.). Days when simple tasks like trying to figure out which train ticket to buy or how to work the Spanish washing machine all seemed almost more trying than the most challenging of my law textbooks in Sydney.
It is impossible to narrate succinctly months of one’s life under any circumstances, and particularly so when ‘normal’ or ‘routine’ are rare words. It’s a difficult reality to accept, because in having so many experiences and what seems like so many revelations about myself and the world, there are many times when I wish that I can capture everything so that I can share it with loved ones- or anyone who will listen! And yet with this inability comes the mystery and greatness of every individual’s story.
Of-course there is the novelty of being in a new environment, the amazing food, new sounds, interesting people, travel opportunities. However, there is so much more. Amid the exhilaration and the wrenching loneliness of being so far away from familiarity, I found people who now hold a piece of my heart, carrying it with them to each of their corners of the world. In being so immersed in the unfamiliar, I’ve also found myself increasingly curious about my own world- my friends, family and heritage as a Sri Lankan born Australian, in the recognition that I still have so many layers to uncover.
And in the same chaos and loneliness I have begun to rediscover a person who I thought I knew all about; myself. And that is where I am- an incredibly blessed, grateful, awestruck, confused, wandering, searching, loving, overwhelmed, curious soul- feeling very, very much alive.