Here's where it starts, San Francisco, CA, USA.
Lugging my Gregory pack through the airport thinking, "I don't remember this pack being so heavy. Did I actually carry this all over Costa Rica a little over 13 years ago? Wait, I haven't used this pack in 13 years? Stay calm, it will get lighter as you travel".
The truth is that it may literally get lighter but it might also get "lighter" as I cease to notice the weight when my mind is distracted by the beauty I see, the sea air I smell, and the physical strength I gain. I wanted to also say inner strength I gain but I know better. I can't have an expectation to gain something I already have, I suppose all I can expect is to gain an awareness and trust that it exists. However, even that is not a light request either, I have to continually remind myself that the constant feeling of needing to work hard and achieve or conquer does not apply to becoming more aware and accepting of the self, the battle is continual, daily. I can only hope that this "battle" will one day be known by a sweeter name and that I can have a more playful dance with the forces that cloud my view of what is already there.
In the meantime, I have thirty more minutes until I can check my pack and live lighter a little longer. Never know, putting that pack on again may already prove to be lighter (Literally? Figuratively? Hmm)
