I don't feel emotions as strongly anymore because I analyze, observe and calculate everything as if it were a film. Hence, even my own trials and tribulations, while experienced subjectively, make me feel objectively. I don't remember the last time I cried when I was hurt. I was just too busy imagining the lensing and lighting of the moment, and the music that would be playing behind me.
This I have come to realize has become a kind of a blessing and a curse. A blessing because, everyday life has become a perpetual film-making lesson for me. And a curse because, well, I am unable to ever really enjoy the moment anymore as a complete individual within my own existence.
Real life hits me hardest, only through the lens. Hence, the kind of film-making I pursue is non-fiction. It's probably why I took up philosophy as my subject in college... I wanted to understand how one can view the world differently. I do not like to twist the facts to suit the film. In fact, I feel the facts, or the Truth, being unique and only one, is the best possible version of itself. The trick is to unravel it in a beautiful way... and non-fiction cinema can never beat fiction. Hence, my strongest belief while making a non-fiction is to present the truth as it is, never misinterpreting it, because as a film-maker, that is not our moral right.
Why do I think I should be chosen? I do not know. I just know that... if this happens, it will probably be the most amazing thing of my life.
Tags: 2015 Film Scholarship to Colombia
