blundering-around-in-Africa

Thank you to all the wonderful people who have sent money. We have now given Mr. Zulu’s volunteers a bicycle each - sturdy black uprights which will cope with the potholes and we are buying two bales of second hand clothes for them to distribute. Everyone is very excited that people from all over the globe are interested in the work they are doing. This week we have given away the first hundred mozzie nets - just in time for the rains. It is odd that while a handful of people are killed each year by marauding elephants the tiny mosquito, so happily breeding in the waterways of Luangwa, cause a much higher mortality. The mosquito nets are not only protecting against malaria but a wide variety of immunisable diseases because the clinic numbers were doubled as everyone was keen to get a free net . The bush clinics are great fun and are used by the women as a social occasion. The babies all arrive decked in their Sunday best which often involves frilly nylon dresses and thick woollen hats and bootees while it is 40 degrees in the shade and I am melting sitting under the biggest mango tree in the village. Talking of mangoes - the villages are now being visited by herds of elephants who will do anything to get at the ripe mangoes. When visiting Africa’s beautiful game parks it is easy to forget the price local people pay. Here people traditionally fish and hunt - now their hunting is severely restricted - left for the high-paying, wannabee macho, foreigners who somehow feel it is brave and sporting to shoot these beautiful creatures. Yesterday I gave a lift to two fishermen who had spent the night fishing in the river and were frightened of the elephants on the way home. When asked, they said that, while they were terrified of elephants, crocodiles were no problem at all! I had a different story because the previous week I had had to resuscitate a fisherman rescued from the jaws of a croc by his brother. A gory sight! This remarkable man had already survived a previous croc attack AND a lion attack! Just to prove he is as immortal as he thinks he is he has survived but sadly lost both arms. One of the joys of being here is learning about the birds and animals. Hippos have sex under water, the only southern hemisphere land mammal to do so, apart from a few drunken Aussies. Like the Aussies, they too use a lot of sunblock, a red excretion on their skin. Hyena females have perfected women’s liberation, having such high testosterone levels that they laud it over the males and even have matching pseudo penises. Despite this they are completely unlovable. The elephant is pregnant for 22 months and gives birth to a 120 kg baby. The rains have come to the valley and everything is greening. The weather is cooling. Last week on a game drive we thought the first rains had come but then realised we were being pooed on by sixty vultures in a tree and knowing they had just been crawling inside a hippo carcass it was not quite as refreshing as we thought. Our time here will soon be coming to a close and we are really looking forward to coming home. Sadly, there will be no ebullient, wagging, welcome from our dog Penny as she died last week. We shall always be grateful to Jim and Jane, who loved her as much as we did and supported Binky as he said goodbye on our behalf. I often reflect on the pathways of evolution, thinking it would be wonderful to have a trunk like an elephant which can pick a daisy or carry a landcruiser under its arm, or a neck like a giraffe to see over the crowds. It is with great relief, however, unlike the baboons, women don’t have bottoms which go bright red when they are feeling sexy, nor men unlike the vervet monkey have bright blue testicles. I am truly grateful that Joe of the Jungle has shared these wonderful experiences with me and is happy to discard his loincloth, leave his assegai in the bush and get back on his tractor.