How to really say "Thank You"

Today when I handed Mr. Pande the 20,000 rupiah (less than$2.50) for getting the light bulb replaced on my bike, he handed me his cup of coffee. I told him I didn’t drink coffee, so he told me he would make me tea. I told him that wasn’t necessary, and only after a few minutes of convincing, he went back to his work. Although he had already given me everything I could ask for (multiple rides to and from work, and a new light bulb for my motorbike) he felt it was necessary when I gave something, to give something back.

Bali is like this. The Balinese people put a lot of emphasis on giving when they receive something. I see this in the language I am learning- Thank you, or “terima kahsi” literally translates to “it is accepted with love.”

You’re welcome, or the formal, ”Terima kasih kembali” translates to ”I’m returning the thanks.” The less formal, “sama sama” means, “same to you.” We give, receive, and give back again in a cycle of giving.

When making my lunch in the kitchen today I whipped up an American treat, applesauce. I filled six spoons with the mixture of apples from China and Indonesian cinnamon and passed them around. Immediately a bowl was filled with delicious nasi goreng. We sat in the kitchen and ate one another’s favorite foods; I asked them about their language and what exactly terima kahsi means, explaining how in America, thank you often is just a formality, something that need to be said. I explained how I saw their thank you and you’re welcome as an endless cycle of giving and receiving.
“This is what is life, Miss Kelsey. We give and we receive and we hope we are lucky enough to give more than we receive.”

I looked around and realized the bowl of friend rice I had been given was the lunch of all the six women in the kitchen.