A Backwards Adventure

“Please! Luke! Turn around!”

I've hit the wall. I'm broken. I don't want to walk anymore. My brother and I are walking 325km through Thailand in memory of WWII prisoners of war who built the Thai-Burma railway. Today Luke is about one kilometre ahead of me and no matter how loud I yell, he can't hear me. No matter how much I will him to turn around, he doesn’t.

“LUKE!”

Nothing, he just keeps walking.

“LUUUUUKE!”

Damn it! Why will he not turn around?

The tears arrive and I'm a blubbering mess. I'm tired, sore and fed up with carrying this heavy back pack.

“Please turn around! Luke! I need to stop. I can't walk anymore!”

I'm delirious, screaming like a mad woman who has lost control of her mind and reality.

It is so hot today; unbelievably, infuriatingly, irrevocably HOT. My shoulders are killing. My feet are throbbing. I simply cannot and do not want to walk another step. Then a mosquito shows up.

Bzzzz...

That sound is so irritating.

Bzzzzz...

I'm not in the mood.

Bzzzzzzz...

I start to yell at the tiny winged vampire, “FRIGGEN GET LOST!”

Bzzzzzzzz.......

“GO...AWAY!!!”

“I can't walk anymore,” I scream to no one. Luke is so far ahead I can't see him. I feel so alone. “I can't dooooo it!” I grapple with my inner and outer torment, urging myself to continue. Tears are rolling down my cheeks, I'm breathing deeply and feel like I'm on the verge of collapse.

Then...I have an epiphany. I remember the POWs. I remember why I'm doing this.

The POWs walked at the mercy of their cruel captors.The Japanese were relentless in their wickedness and would make the POWs march for hours and hours before they would allow a rest stop. I've wrestled with being in the hands of Luke. He is in front; therefore, controlling our pace. Yet no matter how hard I'm finding this morning, the POWs endured so much worse.

I say out loud to myself, “I walk because they walked. I walk because they walked.” It's a simple sentence but it makes all the difference.