In Transit

I went on a volunteer vacation in High School, before realizing what exactly I was doing and what voluntourism was. I saw the ad online, the catch phrase "Experience India" pulled me in. I had worked at an ice cream shop for an entire year to save up the 2,000 dollars necessary to go, and the inevitable smell of double chocolate chip milkshakes clung to my clothing for a long time afterwards.

While in India, I taught a language I wasn't qualified to teach, but my students remembered what the word 'blue' meant by the end anyway. I painted a school my host brother went to, possibly taking jobs away from the community by doing it for free. I helped out on a farm by planting seeds for the next harvest, easing the owner's own work load.

I lived with two host families, watching Barbie in Tibetan with my 8 year old host brother and gossiping about famous actors with my host sisters. I played soccer in their yard, I hiked to the water fall to gather clean water to wash our clothes with, and I learned how to make the best chai tea you'll ever have. I listened to my first host father's story about escaping Tibet and coming to India looking for freedom, losing his first family on the way. I listened to my second host mother's story of being a single mom in a Tibetan refugee village in the mountains, and the trials she faced because of it. The vulnerability and openness of the people I met terrified me, the culture shocked me, and a curiosity awakened inside of me focusing on a world I definitely didn't understand.

But this is not an article supporting volunteerism, nor is it a critique of it. Nothing can be inherently good or bad, even helping a community in the short term could be hurting it in the long term. My host brother would be 13 by now, and probably doesn't remember me. My host sisters have probably gossiped with more American teenagers since I was there, as they let 6 girls into their home each summer. I didn't leave a lasting effect on this community, as everyone who speaks english knows the color blue, everything will need to be repainted eventually, and the seeds would have been planted in the garden with or without my help.

I did help people in small ways though. Looking back I can see that. I also recognize that my time in India changed me. I know these people left a mark on me. I know India inspired a thirst for travel inside of me.

And I know that I didn't change the community.