Northern California

I drove the 12 hours North on the California Interstates, up The 5, passed the signs for Andersen's Famous Split Pea Soup and the incredible stench of industrial cow farms - What a combo? The road cut back West just as the giant wind-turbines spun down upon me, directionaling that the Gateway to the Northwest was "This Way!" Not far outside of San Francisco the roads crept down from four lanes, to two, to one. The Redwood Highway slowing at Downtowns of just 10 storefronts on either side and within a blink of an eye it was just the road and the trees again. Caution signs for pending rockslides and animal crossings were really the only communication I had, before turning the bend for “Confusion HIll” a tacky tourist trap that I contemplated stopping at. Maybe I should have?

I arrived in Arcata, and he was out for with friends. I parked the car and met them down the block at the 24 hour donut shop where a bunch of college students sat around discussing philosophy and summer plans. We had not seen each other but twice in the six months from our first meeting, but we were heading back East together. We were going to travel out of the country. We made plans as lovers, on a mission for adventure.

And then, his beau showed up to bid him adieu.

I was side-swiped. The rug pulled out from under me. I wouldn't have driven so far! I would have let those butterflies escape from inside my ribcage and head, leading me to leave my job and apartment in Los Angeles for the summer, and possibly indefinitely.

I don’t think he meant for our paths to cross. I ran out the door, and wandered to the edge of town, passed the red, green, and blue Victorians, and the small University, where I found the Redwoods.

I walked within their shadows, wallowing in mine. A beam of sunlight would poke through and warm my skin, and I would smile at how insignificant this moment seemed to these old giants. A young girl weeping over a broken heart or a smashed ego had to be laughable. I ran through the trail, crunching on old bark and fallen leaves, hoping to get these horrible feelings out of my body and my head. Tears watering the ground of the ancient forest for betrayal and scorn. I wonder how many tears this forest has seen?

I could not believe this was happening to me.

The redwoods were kind. Strong. I had to be the same. Gaining strength from the tall towering trees, I wiped my face and decided I would brave my feelings, and turn around and have my own adventures without him.