Buttocks of Steel
The night before we first straddled Parker (our trusty 110cc Chinese
import motorcycle with tyres the width of bicycle tyres) we sat and
read through the notes of other travellers who had gone on the 'loop',
a 320 km circular stretch of Laos back country with random caves and
springs along the way.
It was a bit off putting to find that everybody started their entry
with a tally of 'Mechanical failures', 'Leg burns', 'Animal Hits' and
'Accidents'. It was a bit more reassuring to see that everybody who
wrote an entry loved their adventure, despite their top trump score.
I must admit the first few kilometres were worrying. It was supposed
to be one of the easiest parts but we found the roads had unexpected
potholes, Laos drivers liked to use every inch of the road and the
water buffalo wanted to assassinate us very slowly from the sides.
I think the turning point mentally was on our way to our first cave. I
was getting more confident in dealing with Parker's delicate nature
and even though conditions were wet, with utter concentration and
determination we were getting up to a respectable speed. Then, to our
embarrassment, we were overtaken by two ten year old Laos children on a
beaten up scooter. Like all Laos children they give us a 'sa bai dee!'
(hello), a huge beaming smile and then sped away. But then to add to
the humiliation they slowed down to let us catch them and hovered next
to us as the kid on the back of the bike lent over to offer us some
fruit. Ok so this can't be too difficult after all, we were just being
a bit wet.
It was a good job we got into that mentality as some of the 'roads'
were the craziest dirt tracks we've ever seen. There was a 50 km
stretch of pure pot holes, some full of water, some slippery with mud,
some with large pointy rocks jutting out from them. Imagine biking on
the moon on a push bike with a motor strapped on to it, only someone
had seasoned the lunar landscape with a large dash of mud and
protected it with farm animals. The only way you could get about was
driving pretty slow in a zig zag fashion using the whole of the road
(and occasionally letting Angie get off and walk). We didn't stop to
take many pictures of these roads but you'll just have to take our
word for it, it was pretty mental.
But we got the hang of it and we had a cracking, but tiring, four days
of madness. It didn't rain for the last three days and we managed to
explore caves in pure isolation, walk through tiny villages where the
children roamed with machetes (purely for wood chopping) and learn to
play Pétanque with one of the few people we came across that spoke
English.
The simple things stick with me, like stopping for a can of coke in a
tiny shack on the third day. The owner was so warm and welcoming,
clearing space for us to sit, hooking up a fan to cool us down and
looking thoroughly delighted that we had joined her for a few minutes.
We looked through her wedding pictures and her daughter dragged out
kittens (by their ears, check the pics!) to show us and generally they
just wanted to welcome us. Five minutes later and we were off again,
buttocks still broken but not so thirsty and a big smile on our faces.
Angie's favourite day was the third day I think so I'll hand this
dirty dirty keyboard over..
On the third day we went to see the main attraction of the loop which
was a 7 km cave (with a river running through it), which was only
explored in the 1990's. This was a part of the journey where our butts
got a break from Parker and we took a boat (with very silent guides)
along the river that ran through it, occasionally stopping and walking
over the rocks to admire the stalagmites (or as Ben has named them
'upwardly thrusting torpedo's of snot') and stalactites while the
guides dragged the boat across shallow water. It was pitch black
inside as they had only lit a couple of interesting formations so
torches were essential. I think my favourite part was when the boat
hit some rocks, we flooded with water and I ended up scooping water
with half of a petrol container cut in half. The fact that i helped
seemed to amuse one of the guides as he started to laugh.
After the cave we had planned to do a home stay but due to the
previous tiring few days we decided that we would not be able to
make the most of this. We decided to potter around on Parker to see
what we could find. Ben found a dirt track with a sign saying 'rooms
and restaurant' and my heart sank thinking of of yet another bumpy
ride. However, we found what has possibly been my favourite place so
far. Tucked away in a small village off the main strip were some guest
rooms which are obviously used my trekkers and not your usual
tourists. It was empty so we managed to bargain the price down to a
more reasonable price. Here we were able sit by the river drinking a
beer and watch the activity of the river accompanied by Rex the dog. In
Laos the river is the hub of the community as this is often where
local villagers fish for foods, take their cattle to drink, bathe
(covered by their sarongs) while the children play about in the boats.
Despite all this activity the water was crystal clear and my biggest
regret is not waking up early enough for a swim. The photos really
don't to the place justice.
So yes a great experience, but we were happy to relax when we got back.
One Eye, Jim and Parker
