I was right in assuming that the blissful days of beaches and sunsets would become a fading memory once I arrived in Malaysia. I have learned something very important about traveling. It is an entirely subjective experience which cannot even be described to anyone else. This is vital information for anyone embarking out into the world, information that could make or break your experiences. When someone says, “oh you must go to “insert place”, it’s amazing!” or “whatever you do, don’t go to “insert place”, it is horrible!” – you will soon learn that their experience is only their own and yours will be entirely different. I have met some wonderful travelers so far in Malaysia and this point was made even cleared when we found out we had been in the exact same places, on the exact same days, and had completely different experiences and impressions. My entrance into Malaysia was the island of Panang, where I spent 20 hellish hours, wishing the entire time that I had never left Thailand. I met a few people while leaving the city and they had loved their stay in Panang – they even stayed in the same place as me! I left Thailand on a series of different buses and minivans which herded people across the border into Malaysia. At the border crossing I was introduced to my first experience of Malaysian culture. Our minivan was stopped after crossing into Malaysia by a group of security guards. They ordered everyone out of the van and started tearing apart the seats and insisting that the driver was hiding something somewhere within the van. Clearly there was nothing there yet they wouldn’t let us cross until the driver paid them off – something I saw far too often in my time here so far. The van dropped us off in the middle of some dodgy neighbourhood in Panang where I quickly went into the first guesthouse I saw. I checked into a room and asked the man where I could find a bank machine as I had no Malaysian currency to pay him. He answered me with laughter and shook his head. “Stupid girl, you can’t go out here at night, you’ll be beated and robbed before you get out the door.” Ok, lovely, thank you for your warm welcome. So I retreated to my room, or rather my 6 foot by 6 foot rat cage. The rooms were constructed with what I think was cardboard walls, just large enough to squeeze a tiny bed in between them. The bed touched each wall and when the man in the room beside me moved in his bed, it moved my bed as well. The next day I wandered the city trying to find my way off the island – getting different information from every travel agent I asked – “there’s no direct bus off the island you have to take a ferry” – “there’s no ferry off the island today, you have to take a direct bus” – “the only bus leaves at 9am”. In actuality, there was a bus that went directly to the mainland and onto my next destination, but it didn’t leave until 4pm so now I was stuck in this godforsaken city with my backpack for the entire day. The day was filled with enough harassment to make me want to scream. I consider myself to be an open-minded and patient person. I come into other cultures with the knowledge that they are different than my own and that I must respect that. I dress in ways as to not offend the local people, I carry myself in a way that will not be offensive, and I refrain from any anger or judgment on their customs. This is my obligation as a traveler. I am making the choice to enter into their country and to be a part of their culture. But I find myself struggling when the line between respecting their culture and respecting myself begins to blur. If any of the men back home would treat me the way I am treated here, I would happily respond to them with a baseball bat to their knees – yet I don’t think this is an appropriate response here. My strength in positive thought has been challenged every day since I’ve been in Malaysia, but I realized that I don’t have to be here, I don’t have to subject myself to these situations, so I’m heading back to Thailand.
Malaysia is a truly beautiful country and everyone I’ve met along the traveling road has had such amazing experiences here. I have as well, apart from most of the people I’ve encountered along the way. I spent a couple days in Cameron Highlands, which was truly breathtaking. The bus ride up took us up above the clouds during the sunset, with an awe-inspiring view of the valleys and jungle below. The weather was shockingly cold in these parts, nights were spent in sweaters and woolen blankets and freezing cold noses. From there I went to Kuala Lumpur where I got lost in their China Town and Little India and spent far too many hours wandering through the large shopping mall taking in the strange trends of Malaysian fashion. After getting my fill of city life I headed to the small island of Pangkor, where I battled monkeys and giant wild pigs on my walk in between the beach and the jungle. I shared my bungalow with a lovely Dutch girl I met in Cameron Highlands as well as a family of giant lizards. Pangkor did not offer any redemption on the male culture and my patience was beginning to wear thin. After spending so many days on buses and dealing with so much harassment, I could feel the loss of control in my irritation. On the ferry off the island I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from screaming at the man beside me to stop staring at me in that way before I beat his face in. hahaha clearly it was time to leave the country before I ended up thrown in jail for knocking the entire male population unconscious. I did however meet one nice man who owned the only good restaurant on the island. After eating most of my meals there, he became a friendly and familiar face. On my last night on the island he asked me if anything bad had happened to me while I’d been in Malaysia. He said that he could see in the way that I carried myself that I had not had a positive experience so far. I told him about my dealings with the people and how I was sad to admit that my time in Malaysia really hadn’t been a good experience. He felt awful and apologized on behalf of his entire country. I know the people are good and the country is beautiful, all it takes is a few bad seeds to give a bad impression. What upset me the most is that my experience had left a mark on me, one that was visible to those around me. I used to be known as a very approachable person, and now I was informed that I am giving off an impression that was far from friendly.
I cannot stress enough the importance of subjectivity on the impression of a culture. I have met no one else that has had this impression of Malaysia and I know that this is not a fair judgment of their culture. We are all given experiences that are meant to strengthen us, to challenge us, and to help us experience life. My path in life is different than the next person, and because of this I am given different challenges to overcome that will help me continue moving forward. Being faced with these situations has shown me that I am strong enough to protect myself, smart enough to gauge situations for their safety, and just bitchy enough to get my point across even in a foreign language. So for me, I can’t see the negativity in this because it only reinforced my strength and allowed me to learn how to accept cultural differences while still maintaining my personal beliefs. I say all this with the reassurance that my safety is intact and I am on my way back to Thailand, where I am hoping to immerse myself into the culture I have grown to love so much. With a Thai language guide and the help of the local friends I have made, I hope to learn their language to help in my understanding of their way of life.
Along with learning that traveling is a subjective experience, I have also learned that it is the people you share your life with that leave the most important impression and impact on your experience. I have met some wonderful friends along the way, people I know I will have the pleasure of seeing in years to come. Lucy, the Dutch girl I have been traveling with since Cameron Highlands, has been the source of much laughter during my travels thru Malaysia. The language barrier makes for interesting conversations where we are on completely different topics and don’t realize this for some time. I’ve felt like a little girl at camp when we wake in the middle of the night to noises from the garbage can – only to start screaming when a huge lizard runs out from it and under our beds – which is always followed by long fits of uncontrollable laughter. Or when the brakes on our bikes start to fail while going down the hills on the road through the jungle and we are forced to wait on the side of the road for a taxi, all while trying to battle off the monkeys that try to climb into our bags – once again followed by screams and long fits of laughter. So I’ve learned the importance of people and the impressions they have on my life, the good and the bad and the ways in which they challenge me and help me to grow. I suppose this is just reaffirming the thoughts I made in one of my first entries – so maybe I’m not learning anything new, just confirming the things I’ve known all along! One thing I know for sure is that I’m heading back to the beaches of Thailand where I will be greeted with sun and smiles and will no longer have to pay to use the hole in the ground they call a toilet here.
