Stubborn & Hell-Bent Following that guiding force ...

My grandpa used to tell me that hate is a strong word and it shouldn’t be used lightly because chances are you don’t really hate anything. I’ve thought about this often throughout my life and always found in the end, he was always right. Unfortunately, I think in the heart of Pai I have found the one thing that has proven him wrong. There’s this myth I think it must be, on the habits of roosters. They are supposed to be the call of dawn, the one cock-a-doodle-doo to let you know the sun is preparing for it’s debut. Well something went seriously wrong with the circadian rhythms of the roosters it Pai. I moved into a new guesthouse the other day and thought I’d done well for myself, a little bungalow surrounded by trees and a swimming pool, a cute bathroom with stones for a floor, and apparently a sanctuary for every living rooster in the hills of Thailand. My previous experience with roosters is not extensive, yet I know what is normal - and these are not!  They start at 2am and refrain from silence until midnight when they break for two hours - in which i can only assume they ingest large amounts of Thai Redbull to ensure their stamina for the next 22 hours.  Their dedication is disturbing, constant, and right outside my window.  Not loud enough of course, to block out the scurrying, scratching sounds of the cockroaches.

That is however about as bad as it gets here – so I guess I really have nothing to complain about! I explored a little further into the hills yesterday, and found some beautiful waterfalls and climbed through the death-dropping cliffs of Pai Canyon. I met a Brazilian man the other day who told me a story about when his friend was in Thailand years ago and was on his moped trying to find one of the many waterfalls. After driving down dirt roads and through the bushes, he was about to give up. Just then, about 100 meters from the opening to the waterfall, an old woman came out of the bushes and motioned the universal sign for smoking a joint and tried to sell him opium. You get used to this offer in the northern parts of Thailand, but it's not usually when you're in the middle of the wilderness.  After forgetting about this story, I was on a dirt road on my moped wondering if I had taken a wrong turn and couldn’t find the waterfall, when not a moment later this woman comes out of the bushes and tries to lure me into her home to buy opium – not 100 meters away was the waterfall. I think she will make her place in the Lonely Planet Guidebook as a true-standing tourist attraction. Sorry to disappoint you little lady but you’re out of luck with this one!

As per many people’s recommendations, I ventured out of town last night to the local blues club. This place was unbelievable! I think every local and every foreigner comes to this place to drink, dance, and listen to live music. I was rendered speechless while listening to a local blues band whose lead singer was a tiny porcelain doll of a Thai woman who belted out the deepest raspiest voice the you could feel vibrating in your stomach. The night's end held it’s own form of entertainment as I watched local after local come stumbling out of the bar, get on his moped and crash horribly on the road. I stood there and watched 7 people do this in a row. One guy jumped off his bike, held onto the brake, revved the gas and ended up flying into the ditch. Drinking and driving doesn’t seem to be a serious offense here as I was standing beside a local police officer, cigarette dangling from his mouth and beer in hand, who stood laughing at the entertainment. I wonder if it's a serious offense to accidentally hit roosters with your moped...

This brings to mind my difficulties with motorbikes.  It took me days to get up enough courage to rent a moped. I literally walked by the rental place about ten times, even walked in once and back out again before i finally took the plunge.  I have this dilemma where i am far too logical sometimes and could easily convince myself that it is an unintelligent idea to ride a moped in a foreign country, for the first time, where they drive on the wrong side of the road at speeds that could only mean they no longer value their lives or those around them, with a map that is missing half the roads.  But what is life without a little bit of risk? So I rented the bike, paid for full insurance and helmet, and found the peace within myself to accept that i have lived a long and happy life.  I got on, started the pathetic engine and took off - the first thought to enter my head was, "my mom is going to be so ticked off if i die on this thing".  I drove the 100 meters to my guesthouse, parked it, walked my wobbly knees up to my room and sat down for about an hour before i got back on.  Pathetic I know, but between dodging the stray dogs and the street vendors and the one traffic light in town that decided not to work, i was a little bit nervous!  Anyway, all ended well and I survived.  I was granted the beauty of the valleys and rice terraces, the many waterfalls and elephants, and the freedom of speeding through the hills with the wind blowing in my hair. 

I was going to try and leave Pai today but couldn't decide where to go.  The sleepiness of this town makes it hard leave. I didn't think people could move faster than the speed of the three-legged dogs here, but i saw them all run today when a very large king cobra slithered it's way through the main street.  Not having it in my mindset yet that these are things I should be looking out for, I almost walked right into it.  Thanks to Charley, the cross-eyed Thai man, my life was spared, as he grabbed me and threw me to the side of the road.  I'm pretty sure I heard him mutter something about "stupid farang" as he hobbled away.  I think it's easier to be ignorant to these things.  If i thought about the fact that i may step on a poisonous snake on my way to breakfast i highly doubt I'd get out of bed every day! 

So this is life in Pai.  This tiny town is now responsible for my newfound addiction to motorbikes and my now confirmed fear of snakes.