I sat down and immediately the waiter appeared. Protocol was
to order on sitting down. The huge menu was totally foreign to me. The waiter stood
there and listed off some of the options. It didn’t really help.
I saw Gado Gado, I get this at a place at home. It is one of
my favourites. I was pretty hungry though and thought I needed something else,
and felt a bit like chicken. Listed under the “Western” section was “Long John
Chicken”, and the waiter was staring at me staring at the menu.
The Gado Gado arrived straight away. I know my Kiwi version is probably a bastard
child of the mainland version, but it is the bastard child I know and like.
I can see how they are related, but this one was topped with
the most awful rancid greasy off fishy smelling crackers ever. Seriously to give
you an idea I reckon seagulls would have loved it.
I willed Long John’s chicken to arrive, moved my food around
a bit more, finished my drink and played with my phone. The waiter came
over and asked, Good, good? Gado gado
good? I nodded and rubbed my tummy and gave him a wink.
There was a problem with Long John the waiter said, but he
tried explaining they could do something
similar. I heard same, same, so I went
with it and said Ok.
Then it came. It was like dense French toast made from naan
bread with cheese in the middle and covered in mayonnaise and tomato sauce, and
it tasted like curry. I’m not sure what was
worse. I tried to be polite, I really did.
I figured that it would actually be more polite to give up and leave,
than to continue and vomit all over the table. I got the bill and mimed it was
so good, but it was so big I couldn’t finish.
I was now hungry and slightly nauseas. Thankfully the glow
of a 7/11 appeared as my saviour, so I went for a couple of safe options. It
was a cop out on my part, but am sure all of us have had similar experiences on
the road, it is all part of the fun.
If anyone knows what Long John Chicken is, I would love to
know? And your horror travelling meals?
PS: Sorry about the bad quality photo, it was slyly taken on my phone.