Encouragement from friends and family inspired me to document this trip through a blog, and I have promised to attempt to keep one going .... bear with me...
After months of "planning", working my booty off, and $aving, I left Tucson late January; I made my way around the east coast seeing friends and family before my one-way flight NYC to Bangkok would depart on Feb 29th. I hastily finished packing at the very last minute (no surprises there), which was partly because I dreaded saying farewell to my sparkly life in Tucson. Sam (bless her radiant heart of gold) dropped me off at the airport before the sun was up, all three of our pups riding in the back seat. I moaned, grumbled, wept, and stroked the dogs lovingly the whole ride there and questioned what the hell I was doing with myself...and how Jack (my pup baby of 10 years now) and I would cope without each other for such a long stretch. After I exchanged warm, teary hugs with the four of them, I accepted the transition and walked inside with my bags. I scowled at everyone in the airport who had the misfortune of making eye contact with my sorry emotional ass. On the plane I lamented leaving Tucson, Jack, my home, my friends, etc; to be without those comforts for months on end was a bit distressing. And from that realization transpired a motivated, positive attitude. :D Sure, I could cry the whole plane ride and wallow in my separations and my fears for the unknown/uncomfortable ahead. But I instead chose to celebrate that over the past year and a half I had single handedly constructed a joyful, productive, loving life for myself on the other side of the country in Tucson, filled with meaningful relationships and incredible experiences. I concluded that this would be the very first time that I had grappled with leaving home to go on a trip; this would be the first time I would not only look forward to leaving, but to coming back home as well. For years my life had revolved around chasing what would come next, working towards and hoping for that grass on the other side that just HAD to be greener than what was here and now. That all came to a halt in 2015, as I generated fulfillment within that was no longer dependent on a dream for the future or a geographical location. I was more than content with where/who I was, I was overjoyed. This reassured me that my leave was coming from a healthy place now- I am no longer running to get away, nor do I want to.
I share all of this with the intention of illustrating this dichotomy of yearning to explore versus needing to be rooted. Many people forfeit their desire to travel because they fear being homesick, or doubt their abilities to actualize their dreams. I hope that by sharing my experience it will encourage others to step outside of their comfort zone, because we all need to be a little uncomfortable in order to learn and progress as individuals. Once we extend beyond our limitations, it becomes easier to continue reaching new heights, and grow into our ideal selves. The World offers endless lessons, opportunities, and relationships, but they won't fall into our laps if we are stagnant and fearful. There are things we can only learn about ourselves and the World once we take that first step over the metaphorical edge... no matter how scary it may seem at first.
On Monday I will embark on my first solo backpacking adventure around Southeast Asia and I already am missing toilet seats and warm showers, but I know that I am doing what I'm meant to do at this point in time. The rest falls into place as it should.
