Getting lost, finding myself

The first time I attended a traditional Zulu wedding was very recently. The destination was Eshowe in rural KwaZulu-Natal. Cows dotted almost every hill in sight.
The bride was waiting to get dressed in a traditional wedding skirt made from strips of cow skin stitched together with leather and leopard skin bib. The look on the bride’s face told me they were more uncomfortable than an average pair of high heels and couture dress.
When her elders arrived they dressed her in the skirt and cow fat that was wrapped over her shoulders. The dance of the maidens was about to start. There was a rather long line that ranged from girls to young women and the bride. They walked around the bride’s homestead a few times singing traditional wedding songs..
The bride’s family brought out their plastic garden chairs and sat across from the girls. The men were now being served traditional Zulu beer. Theyvdrunk from a calabash.
Unlike a city wedding, people were dressed in their everyday best.
Soon the groom and his family arrived. The dance began.
The bride and three of her maidens were handed assegai. Singing Zulu wedding songs in their best voices. The four maidens danced forward. They then planted the spears where four of their male relatives sat. The first man leapt up. He pulled one spear from the ground. He sang the praises of thee bride. As a warrior he showed his skill in a war dance. The other three men did the same. Each one then handed their spears back to the maidens.
The elder women in the bride’s family wore colourful dresses and hats. The women sang wedding songs and dance from one end of the line of maidens to the other and dance back again. One woman sat in the middle in the veld. She pushed down water onto a reed that was sticking out from a leather bound calabash creating deep sound, the rhythm of the maiden’s dance.
People from her clan arrived slowly. And, the ritual was repeated. Once the dances were done, the family would then pin money to her or her maid of honour or cover her with blankets. And the cow fat was removed. The leopard bib now adorned her neck.
he bride carried a heavy basket with gifts to her soon to be mother-in-law. The groom had a bright red umbrella with notes of various denominations pinned onto it. Each of his grooms men danced to the maidens. They also planted the spears. Their dance was more jovial than war like. And, he gave her the umbrella.
The dance was done. And, celebrations had started.