WOOHOO!!
Finally arrived in Norwich after a gruelling twelve hour journey, leaving the foggy, wet Westcountry behind me. Bleary eyed & exhausted,after a three am start, I gather my belongings of rucksack, bright blue, giant holdall, plastic bag stuffed with items hastily grabbed at the last minute & bombproof camera gear case to make my way to the arrivals lounge. My Big Brother is meeting & greeting me but has been delayed by horrendous traffic.
WAAHEY! BB finally appears and helps me load my luggage into his car. We make our way to the local supermarket cafe to await the arrival of my Nephew who is being brought by BB's Wife. BB has an Americano & I choose a decaff Latte while we wait. BB decides to have a sandwich which prompts me to quiz him on his dietary activities for the day. I chide him on his reply of 'oh, a sandwich for lunch & this sandwich'. Two sandwiches are not enough for any one to survive on for a day, much less so for a grown man with a grand stature of six feet two inches (Yes Bruv, I NEVER forget!!) whose trade is builder, housekeeper, nanny, au-pair, laundry-person, scullery... (what is the masculine for scullery maid?), parent, private hire taxi, chief cook & bottle washer to boot. I hear myself & realise I'm beginning to sound more & more like our Mother (now there's a REALLY scary notion- shoot me now please!) BB retorts with the feeble excuse of 'Well, it's time you see, by the time you've prep'd & cooked something to eat, half the day is gone' I have to semi concede this point solely on the basis that BB lives at least a fortyfive minute drive way from civilisation and most of his organising skills 'left the building' as the ink dried on his marriage certificate. My BB, the fearless, intrepid philanthropist of sorts (not to mention music god in anonynimity) is now a shadow of his former self (I choose to diplomatically ignore the beer belly of middle ages). I ponder this for a few minutes and conclude that if this state is indeed the effect attributed to the cause marriage then I shall avoid the cause of marriage for as long as I draw breath. SA is not a place in which to be suffering the effect of the cause of marriage.
The arrival of Nephew distracts me from my ponderings. I can see he is straining at the leash to rush over and greet me. I wave to him in a vain attempt to deter him. But one wriggle, two wriggles, three wriggles; he breaks free from BBW's grip and charges accross the floor, calling out to me, much to the smiling amusement of some weary shoppers who are eating their tea before venturing out again into the rush hour traffic. I rise and intercept him halfway. Nephew is all smiles & giggles as I lift him from the ground with a great bear hug and swing him around in our customary greeting. As I carry him to our table, he bombards with me questions- How is Granny and did I travel on the fournineoh?. BBW orders Nephew a dinner of sausage, egg and beans (his current favourite food) and after much discussion, he chooses a pear for his fruit. BBW disappears off advising that she needs to buy some groceries. Whilst she is gone, Nephew invents a great new game of alternating eating his dinner with playing land-ons on BB. BBW returns and inspects Nephew's plate but he has outwitted her and his plate is empty. We all leave and walk towards the car park to decant my luggage from BB's car to BBW's car because BB is going on to band practice. Nephew insists on trying to lift each luggage item despite my warnings of 'They're much too heavy'. He is most insulted that the 'army' case carrying my camera equipment is too heavy and makes two attempts on it. He frowns and makes a third attempt, successfully lifting it ten centimetres from the ground. The case returns to the ground with a hefty bump & I thank my lucky stars that it is indeed bomb, water, fire & now Nephew proof!
We arrive at BB's house and my luggage is decanted into the porch. This is a new addition since my last visit and that's my BB; he always has a project on the go- if there's a wall to be knocked down, he'll knock it down. BBW starts running Nephew's bath while Nephew is shouting-'Trains & Coaches'. I advise that I will only play Trains & Coaches on the proviso that there are none of the usual breakdowns, late arrivals & crashes. While we are playing, I tell Nephew all about the bendy bus which caught fire because it's fan belt broke & jammed and how the driver & all the passangers had to get off and wait for another bus. Nephew listens with wide-eyed interest and asks me if there were any big red flames? I advise that no, because the fan belt is made of rubber (which only smoulders for ever), there were not any flames. No, not even big, red ones but, there was a LOT of thick, black smoke. BBW calls Nephew for his bath and he insists that I play boats with him. I teach him to count to three in French. Nephew is very quick to learn this and surprises me by reciting one to five in French, even though I only counted this once and my emphasis was on the one to three. I decide that Nephew is definitely a 'chip off the old block'. Bathtime over, BBW calls Nephew for storytime and then he's off to bed. He's had a very busy day. So have I and Norwich is a flat and beautiful but VERY VERY COLD place!
