my pursuit of happiness

In a sense, I never really left this place. This place I call home. Wherever I go, I held mental images of all those close to my heart who would be inspired by the scenery around me, who would be introduced to high mountains and huge oceans that could give them the chance to scream till they collapse. I have always been accompanied by pictures of all those who suffered in my country. In the summer of 2012, on a trip to Albania, I was swimming in Dhermia beach, the water of that beach was so cold that it could freeze your organs and stop you from moving, as the sun rays hit the surface, I started humming a song and in that moment for the first time in my long 23 years of living, that was the first time I felt liberated. Then I would wonder if my people get a glimpse of hope that there is much more to the world, if they were to meet kind people from all over the world, would they remember kindness? I am surrounded by love and hatred, love by my people and hatred from my enemy, my occupier, who despises my existence. That is the time where I wonder, how did I end up here? conflicted by the two most powerful feelings ever felt.