Im sitting in the silence of the 2 am computer room in the
house and writing in Word because the internet is too slow. Im thinking of
where to start the writing, as I do every time, and sad at how bad I am at
keeping this blog. Im also thinking of the concept of it as a personal public
space, the two meshing together and intertwining with my thoughts of how to
update a general crowd. I have decided that I wanted to share that part of why
I haven’t written is because over the past few weeks I felt that I was
experiencing a bit of an irrational breakdown which greatly disabled me from
doing anything much productive other than feeling crazed. I realized that the
only way to get out of the figurative space was to change my literal space, and
decided rather quickly to head to the village (that I had decided not to live
in) for the week. Now I have come back from that week in a much better place,
although still unsure of what I am doing, and attempting to maintain this good
energy.
I just brushed my hands over my shoulders and felt how hot
they are, the red color of them catching my eye, from a wonderful day of
working in our garden in the house. We are doing a Ecological Seminar this
weekend with Gur, our visiting agricultural specialist and founder of Adamama
in Israel. I
like feeling the warmth in my shoulders. We went over what we have in the
garden thus far, like lettuce and beets and mint and more, and started planting
new seeds of oregano, beans, tomatoes, cilantro in rows throughout the terraces.
I planted some oregano and then went around with tape to mark pieces of bamboo
that I hammered into the ground with rocks to show what everything is. We
created a sort of spider web handing from one end of the courtyard up to the
first floor of the house which we are going to hang the passionfruit vines on
so they can grow along it.
We also discussed the importance of compost in all its beautiful
forms. We have begun using the compost toilet that was made in the house--- a
bucket that is then brought out and transferred to a bin with worms, but today
we said that it would be even more convenient in there was a toilet outside, to
eliminate the extra process of carrying. I can say that I was more enthusiastic
about the idea than most, although some valid points like needing to stay on
good terms with the neighbors were raised. However, a structure was built to be
the outhouse and holes were dug, and hopefully soon we will have an outdoor
toilet to enjoy the stars in.
I have been incredibly into the beauty of connecting more
with the earth around us, as I have desired for a long time and have not had
any outlet for. Although this past week at the village we were not involved in
the garden that they are building up as a model for the village to see, we did
go over all the different plants and I have begun to be able to identify what
things I had until recently only seen in the Supermarket look like when they
are in the ground. It feels so liberating to walk through the grass rather than
through the aisle and see leaves in front of me but envision the fruit or
vegetable that it becomes.
One thing that is most exciting is that I can now spot Pani
Omala, “forest water”, which I was given when we climbed up the mountain
after the elections and I didn’t feel well. It is a small nitrogen giving
plant, who roots have little balls of bursts of tasty water in them. I have
also managed to explain to the family we are with in the village (will explain
more about that) that I want to learn about their garden and they let me go
with one of he younger daughters to pick out my own bit of cilantro to have
with dinner.
It is amazing to see how self sufficient the families are.
This family has their own garden that they get most if not all of their food
from, cows that give them milk and also manure for compost, they build fires to
cook and don’t rely on gas, there is a tap from the river for washing, and the
father is a carpenter and can make whatever you ask of him (including a basic
chimney without a fan that doesn’t work, but we are working on it together).
My mind has been tripping on the combination of long
thinking non-materialism (of any sort) is the right direction and experiencing
a dire sense of importance in the concept of owning something to be proud of
and feel connected to. I am working out how the two go together, but all
experiences have been coming back to the idea of creating something of my own.
It is partially about creativity, and wanting even something as small as a
connection with drawing or playing an instrument or knitting to the greater
thoughts of being about the closeness with the earth and understanding our part
in it better.
I am sure these thoughts are intertwined with the discussion
on how to help street children and really all people connect better to the
space around them. The thought is that if one has a space, painting, any sort
of project to connect to we will begin to feel a greater sense of purpose and
thus desire more of a future for ourselves. All this talk has made me want to…
create.
