In 4 months I will be traveling to the other side of the world with someone I barely know...
I'll be leaving my hometown in California with a backpack, a notebook, my phone, my camera, and my stuffed monkey that has gone everywhere with me.
When I come home I will have credit card debts... and I don't even know if I'll have a job. For the first time in my life, my plan is to not have a plan.... because I know that one way or another, I'll make this work.
There is something so freeing about this entire process. The process of letting go... The shift in perspective when I realized a job is only a job, and that what I'm able to experience in life is so much more significant. Some people think I'm crazy, but I couldn't be more excited.
Since I was 16, I've held onto my jobs and made them a bigger priority than what I actually wanted to accomplish in life. And here I am 12 years later with nothing to show for it except an impressive resume for a corporate job that I wouldn't want. Stability is important, but it is not everything. Dreams are everything. And if we don't find passion in our everyday lives... we slowly forget about what our dreams are made of.
As I'm nearing 30... I see how hard it can be to take risks in life. It can seem unrealistic to believe that I can still become a successful artist, travel the world, change lives, write a book, feel like I've accomplished all of my life's purposes, marry "the one", and somehow (someday) raise a family in the process. Sometimes I wear myself out with all of the things that I want to accomplish... but then I'm reminded of the people I've talked to who fully regret never following their passions and dreams and talents because they chose to settle for something more steady and predictable.
I don't want that. I don't want to lose my passion for art, music, life, love, and people. I don't want to ever feel like I missed out. I don't want my life to ever become so mundane that I forget the big picture.
The only things that are possible are the things we believe in. So I'm ignoring every form of doubt that crosses my mind... and leaving everything that I know... because I know if I don't go... I'll never become the person I believe I'm meant to be. I want more than a comfortable 9 to 5 job, a new car, and a decent 401k. As hard as I work, I feel like my life won't have genuine meaning until I venture out, experience new cultures, and expand my mind to so much more than this American lifestyle. My heart is yearning for something so much greater.
To be honest, I have no idea how I'm going to make this work. Everytime I try to crunch numbers... I see that my income doesn't support my dream. I estimated that my 3 month journey will cost around $10,000 including flights, hostels, food and activities. I've started reading books and blogs to try to cut costs as much as possible. I also plan to sell some of my belongings, and put my artistic skills to use so that I can sell some jewelry, clothing, and drawings on the side. I'm going to do whatever it takes. Even if I end up working by drawing portraits on the beach... I won't let cut this trip any shorter than it needs to be. My flight to Nadi, Fiji has been booked... so there is no turning back at this point!
My faith has finally become stronger than my fears! I've read about all of the people that have made these life-changing trips happen, so I know that it's possible. But rather than hearing stories, I want to create my own. And I will :)
