Mixed emotions about leaving. Some days, I think it's not so bad, but most days, I can't wait to be home. I'm supposed to (HAVE to, actually) pack my stuff and ship it back home by next weekend. I can't start because my room will feel so empty without my bedside table, lamp, pillows, etc. The bookshelf in the living room will have gaping holes and empty spaces. It's like I'm here but I'm not living here. I will again just become another tourist visiting a foreign land.
But then, such is the life of a foreign worker. You uproot yourself, start a life somewhere else, but it'll never be home. I never really saw myself living away for long or for good. My heart is in Manila, cheesy as it may sound.
Sure, life may be more convenient here - efficient transpo system, safe environs and low crime rate, work stress at a minimum. I've no reason to complain, really. But for some reason, this country just sucks the creativity out of me. I should have more time to work on my photography because I get to go home from work on time and I don't have weekend work. But still, all my cameras are gathering dust on the shelf. I haven't taken my dSLR out in ages, I don't even know if it's still working.
However, this country does have its merits. One thing that I'm grateful for is how easy it is to meet new people. Singapore's openness to foreigners living and working here, and the airport being a central hub for travel to the rest of Asia makes it a pit stop for people from all over the world. I suppose since a lot are fellow foreigners or travelers, people are open to chatting up random strangers.
For people who know me well, they'd say I'm not a chatty person AT ALL. It actually depends on my mood - whether I feel like making small talk or not :P I'm convinced that for a Gemini, I am probably the most unGemini-like person I know. Obviously not an extrovert and the life of the party type, but being here made me practice the art of small talk. Conversations are always interesting, ranging from superficial or philosophical: "debates" about religion, beliefs, etc can be had as much as where's a good bar or restaurant to recommend. It doesn't matter that you don't see again most of the people you've met the night before. It was an exchange of ideas and thoughts, intangible, but nonetheless, proves to be valuable.
But at the end of the day, I go back to the transitory feel of Singapore. People stay for a day as a stopover, a couple of years or a decade for some, before you move on to another place. It just doesn't feel like home or a place to set down roots.
