Who Let The Roos Out? My adventures in Australia
I looked out the window of the Southwest Airlines 737 as we passed over the vast dessert of the American Southwest. I was crossing the USA for the thousandth time but in some ways it was really the first time. The redness of the soil reminded me of the far away places I had seen and the amazing things I had experienced in the last 90 days. It was time to come to grips that my dream-trip, my trip of a lifetime was rapidly coming to and end. When I say rapidly, I mean at 600 nautical miles per hour as the 737 rushed towards my destination in San Diego, California. USA
I reached down to fell my front left pocket for what was probably the one thousandth time in the last 90 days. For some reason, my passport had found it’s most comfortable spot to be my front left pocket. For the one thousandth time, I felt the slight outline of the document, right where I had put it
Looking forward to my backpacking trip in Australia got me through some very tough times and I was now using the still very fresh memory of the trip in the same way. I opened my journal and began to relive the trip as best I could, if only to distract me until the flight landed in California……..
Los Angeles to Sydney Australia
I always knew I would be visiting Australia. As far the back as the 3rd grade, I had been fascinated with the Land Down Under. It started when on of my classmates brought in a picture of a kangaroo for show and tell and we sat mesmerized as he described Australia Up the point, we had only heard of Australia through Warner Bros Tasmanian Devil cartoons. At that point I was completely hooked. Of course, I had no idea where it was and fully expected my family would be visiting Australia on an upcoming weekend trip. …… Hopefully we would get to spend the night!
Fast forward a few decades.
It was finally here, the day I had been looking forward to for 4 months but really my whole life. It’s an odd feeling to be excited to leave but to dread the actual flight, the very means of my escape! My Dad was kind enough to drive me up to Los Angeles and give a good send off. In fact this week has been amazing, the well wishes and going away parties have been really touching. My friends are a little worried but excited for me at the same time. I feel the same way! The flight was leaving at Midnight and per my usual habit, I am very early. Over the past few years I have grown to feel very at home in airports, I have always felt that such a massive example of logistics was an amazing sight but the more I travel the more I appreciate each airport’s unique personality (or in the case of LAX the lack thereof.) I can sit and just watch the “goings on” for hours. I dropped $20 on beef jerky, water ands other snacks and take a seat at the gate. Of course our flight leaves an hour late and at this hour folks are a little grumpy and simply want to get the 14 hour trip started then over with.
It turns out I enjoyed the flight immensely. Not only for what it represented in terms of me finally going to Australia but the quality of the food, the wine and most of all the in- flight (in seat) entertainment. I watched 3 movies and several Simpsons episodes and a great British indie film that happened to use copious amounts of female nudity as a plot device. I’m sure the girl in the seat next to me was convinced I was somehow watching porn! (This will be the theme for the next day or so.)
I was able to sleep for about six hours and must say the food on the flight was excellent. The crew passed out eye masks and socks to each of us. Socks? I realized this was a way to encourage folks to take of their shoes and walk around. I already had socks on, so I stashed the pair in my pack (all the time wondering if they were going to collect them later ala the headphones.) One can never have enough socks on the road.
Once on the ground I realized that I had not touched the somewhat expensive foods I had bought back at LAX. As I passed the very bold and numerous “Declare it or Toss It” signs at the gate, I pitched the goldfish crackers thinking to myself that were probably powder by now anyway. I couldn’t force myself to toss the still unopened jerky so I added it to my customs form.
After an uneventful luggage collection I headed over to the customs line. I was surprised to get through the checkpoint with just a nod and a stamp. Surely they are more cautious than that? I was about to find out just how much cautious they really are….
I joined a huge line and couldn’t really tell where it was heading. I saw a younger man in an official looking uniform heading my direction walking along the queue. As he passed me I stepped out and held up my passport and asked if I were in the correct line. He looked at me a little bemused and replied “you are now, please follow me.” I thought to myself “cool, were going right to the front I’m glad I asked!!” This feeling quickly passed when we passed through a side gate a headed for what was clearly not a “regular” inspection.
He led me to a table off to the side and proceeded to ask me the standard questions regarding my visit. While I was confident there would be nothing in my bags that would get me into trouble, it was still kind of uncomfortable, plus my bags were packed with extreme precision and were far over capacity. As he reached for my big suitcase/backpack I started to joke “Watch out, it might ex….” I caught myself before the rest of the word “explode” came out of my mouth but I’m pretty sure he figured out what I had just said. He looked at me for a moment and proceeded to dump the contents of my bag out on the table, he was clearly looking for something and found it fairy quickly: my shave kit.
He spent a good 10 mins removing the entire contents of my shave kit and carefully examined each one of the (seemingly hundreds) of over- the- counter drugs I had packed “just in case.” He must have thought I was either a hypochondriac or very sickly. He then laid out some of more personal items but mercifully put them back fairly quickly. I had a thought that this would suck for a female to have all of her stuff laid out like this.
Satisfied I was not a drug- runner, he turned his attention to my CD holder and laptop. As he thumbed through my CDs and DVDs he asked “got any pornography?” He said it in the manner like he was in the market for some, not like he was going to confiscate it and incarcerate the owner. One thing I was certain of, there was no porn in my CD wallet. “No sir” was my reply but what I wanted to say was “What’s the big deal is it illegal?
I decided the answer toy that question would be better sought elsewhere. He picked up my laptop, as if to judge its weight again, not like an official but more like a person comparing brands. After some small talk he put his hand on top of my computer and asked “got any porno in here?” My mind flashed back to the last dozen or so sites I had visited and after a quick mental checklist, I answered “no sir.” At that point I began to wonder if it was assumed that all Americans traveled with porn or if I just looked like the type of person who did.
I’m not sure I want to know the answer to that question.
So after about 40 minutes and a visit by a harried and hurried representative from the agriculture check team (who frowned heavily on my beef jerky as she bagged it and took it away) I was on my way out the door. I was impressed at the courtesy and efficiency that the Customs agent worked but was a little shaken by the experience.
I was able to contact my hostel and they arraigned for pick up and was soon on my way to downtown Sydney for a day of rest before shipping up to Darwin in the Northern Territory to really begin my trip.
Sydney to Darwin
After a few calm days in amazing (and expensive) Sydney, I made my way back to the airport for my flight north to Darwin. I was, as per habit, 3 hours early for my flight and of course it was 3 hours late. I spent the good part of the night wandering the airport cursing my ridiculously heavy carry- on. It’s funny how all airports are really the same, if I closed my ears my surroundings could have passed for Nashville International or Stansted in London. The food is generally bad and overpriced; the travelers are self absorbed and focused on making to their next destination with minimal hassle.
We finally boarded the flight and somehow I was upgraded to a highly coveted exit row seat. This probably means I paid too much for my ticket, or maybe it was simply “be nice to Americans Day” who knows.
We arrived at 1 AM and I was relieved to see the Darwin airport was alive and buzzing with activity and therefore had no trouble finding a shuttle bus into town. Of course my stop was number 10 of 11 made.
I checked in at 3:30 AM and was given my room key. I went upstairs to the room and found 3 bunk beds with one open at the top. I tried to make as little noise as possible and slipped into the bathroom to change. I noticed the toilet seat was down, but didn’t think anything of it. Even at this hour it was hot and muggy so I stripped off my clothes and clad only in my underwear, slowly and quietly climbed onto the top bed. Every creak and squeak sounded like thunder to me but no one stirred. I laid my weary head down and as my eyes adjusted, I noticed the person to my left was a girl. I looked down and the person below me was a girl as well, a quick survey of the room confirmed it: they were all girls. That smarmy kid at the front desk had put me in a girl’s dorm!! At that point, I even heard the sound of half a dozen girls snoring cute little girl type snores.
Uh oh- wait till they hear me!.
It is at this point that I remember that in my tired state, I had left the toilet seat up (after all it had been a really long night.)
This was kind of a dilemma, I thought it might be a bit of a shock to wake up and find me in their midst, so I got back up, crept down off the top bunk, tiptoed to my bag and put on more clothes. I even made my way back to the toilet and put the seat back down. (I am trained very well!)
I awoke with the sunrise after what seemed like about 8 minutes of sleep. I decided to hang my leg out of the sheets and to cover my face. I though the sight of my very obviously masculine appendage would break the news gently to the girls that there was a man in their midst. It worked, as my roommates stirred and awoke they gathered around my dangling leg. I could picture the puzzled looks on their faces and had to suppress a laugh. I heard whispering in French and what I thought was Italian. After a few moments, mostly to break the tension, I popped my head up suddenly and exclaimed “Surprise!!”
They jumped a little but seemed to enjoy the joke!
It turns out we all got along great and although the line for the bathroom was brutal in the mornings, it was good to be the man around the house once again. I’m just glad nothing broke.
I spent the next week touring Kakdu and Litchfield National Parks, sleeping outside in the heat and being constantly amazed at the wonders of The Northern Territory. Our group hiked by day and drank beer by night. We swam in holes that would be soon occupied by man (and woman) eating crocodiles and visited World Heritage Sites one after another. One of the highlights was a visit to the Ubirr Aboriginal Rock Art site where we met a local ranger who explained the significance of the paintings, many of which were thousands of years old.
It was the first week of a nearly two month journey but I had already gotten my money’s worth. I could have flow home after my visit to Kakdu and been perfectly satisfied. Part of what made the trip so special was the other travelers that were on the tour with me. Like a mini United Nations, our group was comprised of Italians, Brits, Dutch, French and even a few Aussies. Thankfully they all spoke the universal language of adventure and shared a passion for a cold beer at the end of the trail. On more than one occasion, I felt the mandated to keep up with my Commonwealth Brothers and Sisters in the area of alcohol consumption – I’m pretty sure I represented the USA well.
The Red Center and Ayers Rock – Ularu
After a day back in Darwin enjoying the pure ecstasy that is air conditioning, I boarded The Legendary Ghan for the train ride down to Alice Springs and the gateway to the Outback. In hindsight, it would have been faster and cheaper to have flown down but the train ride through the vast Australian wilderness was amazing (if not a bit repetitive.)
At the Hostel I upgraded to a private room as I decided that there was little chance of being put into an all-girls dorm again and it would probably have been in poor form to request it.
I met up with my tour group for our trip out to “The Great Neva’ Neva” as the locals called it. Unlike Kakadu, whose existence I had only recently discovered, Ayers Rock had been on my “to see” list for as long as I can remember. Now called by it’s original name Ularu, this monolith is the single most iconic sight associated with Australia. To say I was excited like a little kid on the Night Before Christmas would be an understatement!
Once again the tour group had a distinctly European flair to it. Scotland, Ireland, England, France and Denmark were all represented, in addition to Japan, Canada and even the USA! I could not help but notice that of the 22 of us 15 were female. I knew this was going to be a rugged trip and this impressed me to no end.
It was 40 degrees centigrade when we did our first hike into King’s Canyon National Park. The geology was amazing like nothing I had ever seen. In the middle of the hike we stopped for a swim in a billabong and enjoyed some shade. Despite the harsh conditions the group was in high spirits and having a great time. I know I’m getting some great pictures.
That first day we rode camels and that night we had camel meat for dinner. I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I had ridden an animal in the day and eaten its kind that night.
We slept outside under the stars in a “swag” (a self contained canvas bag with a built in pad.) As one would imagine, the stars were breathtaking seeing the Southern Cross for the first time was literally life changing.
The Irish girls constantly made me laugh. Not that I can understand them, but I was reasonably certain they were making jokes. At one point I probably ended up doing some extra camp chores as a result of me simply nodding and laughing at everything they said to me. Not that I’m complaining.
In the next few days we visited two great rock formations: The Ulgas and Ularu, both beautiful and special places. The Ulgas reminded me a bit of Joshua Tree National Park back in the States, both have a sort of spirituality that cannot be easily described, the energy is just different. During our hike in the Ulgas to a place called The Valley of The Winds, I split from the group for some quiet time. I was rewarded almost immediately when a 5 foot Goanna (monitor lizard) come down off the hillside and sat on the rock in front of me. I was in such shock that I almost forgot to grab the camera and get some pics. He stayed with me for a little while and then with no particular sense of urgency walked off.
Amazing – by far the biggest lizard I have seen in the wild.
. Check This Off The List:
As mentioned before I have dreamt of visiting Australia since I was a little boy.
Now I was here.
Not just here on the continent but at the base of Ayers Rock, the image that had captured my imagination as a little boy. I have planned this moment in my mind for decades. My original idea was to play Frisbee on the top of the rock like I did at Stonehenge and Half Dome, but last year I found that it was turned back to the Aboriginal clan that first owned the land. The site is considered holy to them and to play a game on top of it would be sacrilege and highly offensive to them so I gave up on that. We had the choice of a circuit hike around the rock or a climb straight up the side. As I understand it, the climb route is closed most days and it was fairly rare that to have it open. There was a line forming (just like Yosemite) at the base and folks really wanted to climb this baby. The Aboriginals ask politely that visitors do not make climb but they do not close it and 36 people have died making the trek up.
I decide to make the trip to the top.
The climb was ROUGH about 4 times longer than the accent up to the top Half Dome in Yosemite on cables. Once at the top, I found a side trail and ditched the rather large and noisy crowd for some quiet time with “my” rock. The view was breathtaking and I sat in the sun for a while reflecting back on things I had done and things yet to do. The way down took over an hour and I was exhausted by the time I got to the bottom. On the way I witnessed two rescues of hikers who had run into trouble. No wonder the Aboriginal owners don’t want visitors to climb!
That night just before we made camp we saw a wild Dingo running around and as we laid down to sleep everyone was a bit nervous. There was a rumor going around camp that Dingos would run off with your boots leaving you barefoot for the rest of the trip.
Naturally I dreamt of Dingos all night.
I would spend many more weeks traveling around Oz and have tremendous adventures in places like The Great Barrier Reef, Kangaroo Island and of course Byron Bay. But the time I spent in the Northern Territory will always stand out in my mind as special, even amongst some very special memories.
