So I know that many of you will be on the edge of your seats on how I’m doing on a number of key issues.
1. The Tan
Despite a promising start, I’m afraid my tan has taken a bit of a backwards step with the recent rains, and therefore I can only report that I am not even the colour of a latte. I am less tanned than I was after my holiday in Spain (although I’m now au natrel with no fakery going on). To add insult to injury, I got chronically burnt at Ko Rang. I NEED my beloved P20 sun lotion. Grade: C-
2. The hair
So, the bad news is, the hair is not doing well, bonkers curls are well and truly established. Mark said to me the other day ‘ooh your hair’s gone all fluffy’. The doctors say that he will make a full recovery, despite the severity of the injuries. Top tip for boys: NEVER tell a woman that her hair is fluffy or that she looks like a lion (that one’s for you Stu!). Apparently, Mark meant it as a compliment, but I’m not convinced…. Anyhow, Mark’s girlfriend Dang was much more in tune with the whole straight hair thing and has recommended I go to a local salon for a wash & blow dry - which is only ฃ3. On the other hand, being on the boat for 2 weeks has seriously dented my vanity - I hardly looked in the mirror and spent about 3 days with my mop stuffed under a baseball cap. Grade: D
3. The weight
Now, I’ve been doing LOTS of exercise for the last two weeks, and I can definitely report some bicep muscle tone now. I was convinced I’d lose weight whilst on board, but I fear that Mark’s excellent cooking has put a bit of a stopper on that. Drat. Not only that, but it’s the sheer volume of the hospitality: ‘Would you like some fruit? Would you like some peanuts? Would you like a cookie? Do you want two bacon sandwiches (Stop Press: the bacon sandwiches were the best I’ve ever tasted. Ever.) So I suspect that I’ve probably maintained rather than lost. But hey - a girl needs to eat I guess. Grade: B-
4. The Nails
So the bling came off my nails in Langkawi, as they kept melting. Nice. But they did last very well despite all the abuse I put them through. In fact I only broke 1 nail all trip, which is excellent: Grade: A
5. The Drinking
I have been as pure as pure can be: Mark, James & Todd were particularly disgusted with my lack of drinking powers: the problem was, many nights we went on shore via the dinghy. Now, I’m not the most steady on my feet at the best of times, so adding alcohol into the equation is asking for trouble. So the sum total of my alcohol consumption on board were 5 small glasses of wine, and 7 Gin & Tonics. Which over 2 weeks is not very much at all. Grade A*
