Excess Baggage

In the first few weeks of living in Bangkok, Thailand, I couldn’t leave my flat without my 15 lb bag of "things I would need."
Everyone I met, said the same thing, "Do you really need all of that stuff?" I did! What if it's sunny, I'll need more block, what if the mosquitos are out, I'll need protection. What if I'm bored? I'll need something to read. Friends found this strange.They tried to lift my bag to prove their point.

I might have been throwing my spine out of alignment, but at least I was prepared. Until one day when I came home from a long day out and I eased my bag onto my bed. My shoulder was sore, my neck was strained, and I was exhausted. Ironically, I'd gotten a massage that day only to ruin it.

II had a problem. I had to ask myself why I was afraid to leave my stuff at home. I feared being unprepared in a new city, but what could be so bad that I needed an extra pair of shoes with me? I thought my stuff would help me cope with being alone in Bangkok. In reality, my stuff only weighed me down; physically and mentally.

I got a new bag. A smaller bag would give me the constraints I needed. It would be physically impossible too much stuff. I put important stuff in my pockets. This was just in case, someone snatched my tiny purse, making a quick getaway because the damn thing's so light. I would sacrifice my books, I never get to read them anyway. I sacrificed all of my toiletries and trusted where ever I was heading would have toilet paper, and an insignificant amount of mosquitoes. I had to trust that nothing would happen to the shoes I was wearing on my feet. I had to trust that my life wasn't going to fall apart in a day's trip around the city.

Leaving the house was difficult. I second guessed myself at the doorway. I felt a little too naked and little too light. As I finally pulled myself way from my home, I told myself I'd be okay.
How did it go?

I sat in a McDonalds eating french fries when I had a startling realization. I'm not a backpacking tourist. I've got more permanence in Thailand than I think I do. It's okay to be on familiar terms with the city. I suddenly felt a tremendous sense of pride of my ability to keep myself alive on so few items! My items weren't going to get me to and from taxis and subways, it would be my instinct and my street smarts. I now trust that I'll be fine traveling lighter.