so, i am sitting in yet another internet cafe, waiting 4 hours to check into my hostel so that i can sleep, shower for the first time in days, and eat something other than crackers and cookies... at 6 am there´s no a whole lot to do here in la paz.
my welcome to bolivia began 6pm on tuesday, when i got onto my bus for la paz. in argentina there are different kinds of seats on the buses, standard, semicama and cama. they increase in the amount of leg room and how much you can recline. so for the 18 hour bus trip i had been hoping for cama, but alas i had to settle for semicama. as soon as i a got on the bus i realized that i was not in kansas anymore. in addition to comfortable seats, the argentine bus system generally provides you with air conditioning, food, and a bathroom. i got on the bus in bolivia to see that my so-called semicama was the equivalent of a seat you would have on a 2 or 3 hour ride. oh well, could be worse. i then noticed all the windows were open... so no AC, oh well, still could be worse. then i noticed the lack of bathroom. ok... this was going to be a really long ride.
the trip began quite comically. we shipped off and made it all of about a half mile when the bus screeched to a halt and off jumps the driver. he happened to see a good friend walking on the side of the road, and thought it was a good time to catch up. twenty minutes later, these two older men behind me are getting impatient and yelling vamos! nosvamos! (lets go, for those who didnt know). that didnt work, so they started banging on the windows and stomping their feet, everyone on the bus decided this was a really good idea and joined in the tantrum. i was cracking up. the driver paid no attention to the noise, and got back on the bus 15 minutes later when he felt like it. onward! they old men behind me start woohooing and cheering La Paz La Paz! here we come! carrying on like a couple of college kids on the way to spring break. we made it another half mile when one of the old guys ran to the front of the bus. we screech to halt again, and the old guy jumps to pee. onward! again! 15 minutes, same old guy jumps out again, and i realize that these two old guys are tanked out of their minds. im trying to be discreet while i am still cracking up.
we start the journey again, this time made it till sundown before the old guy had to pee again. i think this time it was a whole hour... when he got back on the bus, it was dark. so he starts yelling AMIGO! AMIGO! donde estas! donde estas! (where are you, again for those who dont know). to which he friend is yelling I´M HERE! COME HERE! IM RIGHT HERE! this went on for a good 3 minutes... the bus really isnt that big, but these two just couldnt seem to find each other.
so ´now i am dying im laughing so hard, tyring to be quiet because the very large man is snoring heavily next to me. one of the drivers comes back to scold the two old men and threatens to separate them if they keep up the antics. however, i realized the antics wouldnt last much longer when they both start frantically looking for their bebidas (drinks), ¨that were right here! where did they go! dios mio! they were right here! did we drink them? no! we couldnt have! they were here! where did you put them! i didnt put them anywhere!¨
so the logical explanation that they came to after this tirade, ¨someone took them!¨
the driver decides to put on some music. some bolivian music, which has a sound that i dont even know how to describe. i bought a CD though, so for those of you who want to hear i will try to figure out a way to put it online. but the first three cds they put on skipped. ewhen the got to the fourth we listened to the same song about 4 times, the whole time the old guys trying their damndest to sing along to this song, which was all about bolivian pride. youd think they would have figured out the words by the fourth go around, but i guess that what liquor will do to you.
everything quiets down, everything that is, expect the large man snoring next to me, who has also decided to lift the armrest and spread out a bit. so i am trying to make myself very small against the window, just waiting for him to start leaning on my shoulder. everyone is asleep on the bus, save me... in the tiny amount of space the large man has allocated me, i manage to pull one earplug out of my bag. slept a bit, but the occasional especially loud snore would wake me up. i was pretty horrified when the big man woke up and spit a big loogey into the aisle. at that point i was wide awake, and more aware of what could be rolling around on the floor, so now i had my bag on my lap, in my tiny space against the window.
finally, sleep. and then a giant bang and the sound of broken glass. then lots of people yelling in very rapid spanish. i looked out the window to see that our driver had rear ended another bus, taking out our ENTIRE windsheild. the road was only big enough for one bus to go by, so while the two drivers, and half the passengers from each bus were outside yelling about whose fault it was, two more buses pulled up, one in each direction. now there were 4 drivers, and half of 4 buses of people outside yelling. again i am laughing so hard i want to epee, but i cant cause theres no bathroom and i dont want to go outside in front of the 4 drivers and 2 busloads of people. so, they throw the glass to the side, deciding it really doesnt matter whos fault it is and we conituue on.
it´s now freezing, because theres a big gaping whole in the front of the bus, and we are FLYING down these dirt roads. im feeling more like im on a boat than a bus. (shocks? what are shocks?) we get to the next village, where the women with children are muttering about finding another car. no no, we´ll have none of that, the drivers and about 10 men from the village all come out to the bus with a giant sheet of plastic and some packing tape.
good as new! who needs a glass windshield anyway! and we´re off again. i finally fall asleep, with my one earplug, shivering by the window. when i woke up it was morning and we were in the middle of the desert, flying through towns that look like archeaolgical digs, and for a moment i am conviced that the towns are, in fact, abandoned, until i see the people milling about. we stop at a town to let some people off, and this guys jumps on our bus, asking for a few minutes of our time. starts going into this sales pitch about ¨maca¨, which is basically some kind fo grain fortified with vitamins. and of course, bolivia produces THE BEST maca. helps fight disease, improves overall health, etc. and for the low low price of just 20 bolivian pesos, you can get 3, count them 3 packets of maca. i declined the snake charmers offer, but half the bus was just throwing money at this guy. on to the next product, sore muscle rub. similar sales pitch, i again decline, and again half the bus throws more money at him. to end the pitch he tells some really really awful jokes. for example, what is man´s worst enemy? ... dramatic pause... his mother in law! hahahahaha. thanks for your attention ladies and gents, this random bush next to the alpaca is my stop, and off he goes, suitcase full of wares and bolivian pesos.
i start reading on the road, i must have jinxed us or something because all of a sudden the bus stops. again. we are just three hours from la paz! we look out the window to see a line of buses and trucks at a dead standstill up ahead. a mountain of them, both directions. so after a brief conference with the co-pilot, the driver decides that we´ll just take the other dirt road to the capitol. so off we go, four wheeling in the desert. snaking around, seemingly not really making any forward progress. we get to a fairly large stream, where several flatbed trucks carrying lots of cargo were waiting, the drivers scratching their heads deciding whether or not they should cross. my driver gets out to talk to them and then comes back and tells everyone to disembark. if the trucks wont try to cross it, that surely wont stop our driver! i mean, he has been driving for 12 hours with a giant piece of plastic for a windshield!
so we get off and wait on the other side of the stream for the bus. the trucks move out of the way, and the bus makes it across. bottoms-out pretty badly, but makes it. i dont now how we never got a flat. everyone back on, and we go flying up past the bottleneck. we get to a slightly paved road and jump on it, but there is a group of farmers who have blockaded the road with a pile of rocks, demanding that everyone on the bus pay to get by. the driver laughs and jerks the wheel to the right... we dont have to pay! we´ll just four wheel through the desert some more! i was pretty excited about my driver´s initiative, and am reading on the road again, i thought it appropriate because we were, in fact, on the road again. but alas, i must have jinxed us again. because we came around the corner to another standstill. miles long. we did some more four wheeling on the other side of the road, to no avail, and eventually the driver gave up and got into the line with everyone.
i am the only gringo on the bus, and i am REALLY glad i speak spanish at this point. this really nice woman takes me under her wing, explaining that apparently every town from there until la paz ( about 4 or so, but the ones we had already passed were also involved) had blockaded the roads demanding that people pay to pass. apparently this was a political demonstration, as the towns werent receiving proper supplies (water, electricity, etc). apparently there was also some alcochol involved, which didnt help the situation. i asked whether or not the police were involved, she said no, the president was also a farmer, so these people (savages, brutes, she called them) could basically do as they liked. i asked why we didnt just pay... she said the problem is that we would have to pay a huge sum, not once, but at every town. so, we would wait. everyone is off the buses, and i am really wishing i had packed some food. i dont trust the street meat, so for two days i ate crackers, cookies and some apple juice. it was a nice day, hot in the sun but nice in the shade of the trucks and buses, and i talked at length with the others on the bus about the political situation. at least i was getting to practice my spanish. we tried paying smaller cars to give us a ride to the next town, but they were all full.
twelve hours later, the stalemate continued. the press came, and apparently falsely reported that the blockades had ended almost as soon as they began, so the sale of bus tickets back in the terminals continued. at this point the sun was down, and we were going to have to sleep on the bus. though luckily, half the passengers had gotten off earlier, so i had two seats to myself! the large snoring man was no longer next to me. we started moving sometime in the night, the blockades had ended! onward, again, to la paz. which at this point was becoming in my mind like the promised land, an oasis in this god-awful desert. we get to the last town before la paz, about 40 minutes out... it was actually a town, not a village, with more modern conveniences. i guess because of this, this particular town decided they didnt mind continuing the blockade well into the night. so again, the driver decides to find his own way through the desert. this time it´s pitch black, the stars are absolutely beautiful outside my window. the other driver jumps out of the bus with a flashlight, hunts around for a road (and by road i mean tire tracks), points and the bus starts going. the man sprinting next to the bus, jumps in. we stop every 3 minutes or so because we´ve lost the road again, everytime the other driver jumping out, flagging the road with the flashlight, and then sprinting to jump back in. this goes on for an hour and a half. the whole time i see the town on our left, and im wondering if we will wind up just camping out in the desert.
we find a road. not a road, a highway. paved, yellow lines, and best of all, a street sign with an arrow that says LA PAZ. immediately i fall asleep. i wake up as we are entering the outskirts of the city, which were none too pretty and the streets were vacant. its 3 am now, and the driver pulls over at the first corner, wanting us all to get off so he can head back to the border. all the women on the bus jumped up and tore into him, there was no way we were getting off there, its 3 am, the worst part of town, we had babies and tons of luggage in tow, and it was stil anothe 10 minute drive to the city center, where we all needed to go. the driver yielded, and took us to the bus terminal. as we drove, i realized why the women got so angry, it was a LONG ways away. we got to the terminal, and we were in this bowl of lights and houses. the city center at the bottom of what looked like a giant stadium. it was an amazing sight. i got my backpack on, at which point the drivers told me no, we were all sleeping on the bus till the sun came up, it was too dangerous to travel through la paz (especially alone, white, and female) at night. this surprised me a little since 10 minutes earlier he want to kick us all out... but whatever, i went with the flow. the only cabs running were gypsy cabs, which are dangerous. so i took a 2 hour nap until the sun came up, the terminal opened, the police began to patrol and the liscensed taxis began to run. i joined up with a friend i had made on the bus, coni, a girl my age from columbia. i was glad to have her with me, its hard to speak spanish when you are exhausted. i realized that i didnt write down the address of the hostel, so i needed to wait till the internet cafe opened to look it up. so we waited together, she had decided to get a bed in my hostel as well. i saw some other backpackers carrying a guidebook, and found out the hostel was literally only two blocks away! oh well. so away we went, only to be told that we couldnt check in until 10:30, which brings me here, to the internet cafe at 6am. my 24 hour trip turned into 40... but it was quite the experience. however, i think next time i am taking the train.
