The Bright Side of Not Belonging I'm a (piece of) work in progress. And that's good. Finished is, well, finished.

My Scholarship entry 2012 - A 'Place' I Have Visited: Christchurch Destruction Reinvention

New Zealand | Wednesday, January 9, 2013 | 5 photos

I’m an artist who’s been told she is not worth teaching.
Not for lack of wanting to learn. I know just enough about painting and photography to realise how much I need to learn.
I kept applying to enrol in a Bachelor of Fine Arts at two different universities for 3 years despite rejections. I re-completed high school painting during earthquakes and a keyhole operation in order to finally be accepted into the BFA at University of Canterbury.
After finishing first year I was emailed that during the course I showed no understanding of shapes or form, that I showed no improvement, and that even though my ideas were inventive the images I presented still weren’t good enough. They won’t admit me for painting or photography at second year.
My heart broke. For a minute I thought I should have just taken the hint the first time I was rejected: I’m not good enough; I’m a failure. And I might have kept believing that if not for a few little voices around me and inside me saying that they’re wrong. That they can’t see the worth of my work because I’m on a level beyond them. That I’m too unique.
The Beetles, Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, Spielberg, Stephen King, Elvis, Einstein! All failures. And if failure looks like that, I suppose I should be happy to join them.
And, you know, even if UC is right, and I’m not good at it: I still love making art. I’m going to keep trying to find ways to learn more, to keep practising, to improve.
This scholarship would be an opportunity for me to gain confidence, experience, to learn, and get a taste of a career I could have if I don’t give up.