Bangkok Reality Smackdown

I do not wish to brag, but I'm kind of a karaoke star in Bangkok.

The Thais in my Bangkok neighborhood sing karaoke in a plethora of tiny restaurants; a TV, a small speaker, and a microphone is all they need to get a party going. But that’s not where I became a karaoke star. That was in a Bangkok mall.

Bangkok has no shortage of malls and City Complex, near the famous clothing wholesale market, Pratunam, is one of the creepiest around. Many of the malls in this city are made up of small, privately-owned booths crammed together in tight rows. City Complex is comprised of five floors stuffed claustrophobically full of tiny booths, and the further up you go, the stranger the wares (cheerleader costumes with bow ties, anyone?) and the emptier the booths. The florescent lighting is dim and everything seems dingy. The noises from the street fall far away, the windowless aisles create a labyrinth effect, and you start to wonder if you’ll be able to find your way out again.

One afternoon, a friend and I wandered, dazed by the scenes below, to the fifth floor, where there was a massive food court with just a handful of patrons and open restaurants and a stage where Thai people were singing karaoke. Without hesitation I turned to my friend and declared, “We are doing karaoke right now.”

My friend looked horrified. “You can do karaoke. I’m sober. I'm not getting up on that stage.”

I really wanted to get up there. “Fine. I’ll do karaoke on my own.”

After we had observed two or three people wailing away onstage, the woman in charge noticed our interest and handed us a well-worn photocopied catalogue of songs, which had a surprising number of English tunes.

I picked my song (“White Flag” by Dido), jotted down the number on a slip of paper, passed it to the woman in charge, paid my 10 baht (about 33 cents) and nervously awaited my turn.

I knew this was going to be amazing when I stepped up on the stage and people clapped very energetically. The eyes staring at me from across the cavernous room seemed to expect something great. The song went by in a blur, as I was simultaneously concentrating on hitting as many of the notes and words as possible and not disappointing the audience. Singing in front of a group of strangers was more nerve-wracking than I had thought it was going to be.

When the song finished, the audience clapped loudly and enthusiastically, and one lady—this may be the highlight of my life—yelled, in English, “ONE MORE!”

They loved me! They really loved me! I was a Bangkok creepy mall karaoke star! I had been in Bangkok less than a month, and it was more than I could have expected.

I wanted to leave them wanting more, as any good star does, so I declined a repeat performance. I’m sure they’re still anxiously anticipating my return.