Ladyboys, Penis Shaped Lighters, and Sex-shows: Bangkok's got it all

It’s one in the morning, around thirty-degrees Celsius, and I’m speed walking down a street packed full of loud Western men, Thai women of questionable gender, and older Western men seeking out these women. Oh, also there’s a street vendor screaming, “You want big dick?” waving a lighter shaped like a large phallus at me as I try to make my getaway. I guess this is a standard night in the modern version of Tortuga that is Bangkok.

Three things are apparent to me as I stagger, barge, and slip through the mixed crowds – One: I’m eighteen. Two: I’m not prepared for this place. Three: I’m scared. I thought I’d seen most of the world having been lucky enough to travel from a young age. But that was with my parents. They were safe, well organised holidays with regulated tours. My parents’ aren’t with me on this trip. I’m off the reins and free – but also no longer clutching the protective hand and alone.

I’ve been out in Asia for almost a month as part of a group doing “World Challenge”. We’ve stayed in and seen some of the poorest parts of Cambodia, trekked though Thailand’s outstanding jungle, and now we’re in its insane capitol as part of our “rest and relaxation”. So far that has involved witnessing a stabbing, being dragged into a dark alleyway bar filled with large bouncers, pushy waitresses, and scary owners. Plus, as I get away from the vendor screaming at me, another has just approached.
“You want to see sex-show?” he asks. “Only three-hundred Baht. Ping-pong fly all night.” As he finishes this last sentence he actually makes a popping noise with his mouth, I guess to imitate balls hurtling out of a woman’s vagina. I go to say no, but a man falls hard onto my foot and uses my shoulders to balance himself. He apologises right to my face, spraying me with a cloud of booze. By the time he’s back on his way the sex-show peddler has moved on to a group of German tourists’. He’s speaking fluently to them. Everyone here speaks five languages at least. I go to move on; my fake Birkenstock falls off. I look down to find the buckle has been destroyed by the drunk. I do a quick fix with a safety pin and continue.

There are so many lights in this city. Neon-blur in every direction. Mixed with the shouts, laughter, and the constant din of a large crowd, the place is one giant sensory overload. I’ll leave this city in two days. At the time I’ll be slightly relieved. It’s only when I look back that I can appreciate the experiences and knowledge I gained from it.