The Road Well Travelled Around the world in 365 days: SE Asia - Europe - UK - USA

As we are travelling from point to point cheaply we opt for taking the bus from Saigon to Phom Penh and then on to Siem Reap. The first leg passes uneventfully - although there is a tense moment at the border when I make it into Cambodia and The Doctor is still waiting in Vietnam for his name to be called to cross to the other side. I even manage to fall asleep (must be old age!) making the six hours pass quickly. The guy in charge of this bus is a rather grumpy man who barks orders at us in Vietnamese even though we clearly do not understand what we are supposed to be doing. When pushed to his limit Bus Nazi eventually gives us one word orders in English - “Passports!” “Line!” “Money!”. Some of our fellow travellers are Japanese who are also on Bus Nazi’s bad side. At the Vietnam-Cambodia border we file off the bus to get our visas processed. The Japanese as well as The Doctor take this opportunity to go for a toilet break, however Bus Nazi catches on to their plan to relieve themselves and before one of them even catches sight of a urinal, promptly orders them all back onto the bus at once. Bus Nazi was not to give us even one rest stop all journey.

None of this though was to prepare us for the six hour journey from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap. This driver seems to have a death wish and is more concerned with keeping time rather than keeping all his passengers alive til the destination. Even the hilariously bad Cambodian movie playing does not distract me from contemplating my fate (it seems to be about a sporting academy being stormed by armed guerrillas and the students defeating them by kicking soccer balls and coconuts straight off the tree at them). Crazy Driver literally hurtles down the two lane road refusing to travel at a speed less than 120km . I know this because The Doctor and I are lucky enough to be seated in Row 1 -  right at the front, not behind the driver but on the opposite side, giving us a birds eye view through the windscreen of his wild driving skills as well as the speedometer. Even a build up of traffic ahead does not slow him down as he just utilises his horn (in a series of short bursts - loud and annoying!) to warn vehicles ahead that he is going to over take them and proceeds to do so even if said vehicle does not get out of the way, and/or there is also oncoming traffic. My unease is not helped by the fact that I have open space in front of me and nothing to brace myself against. The only barricade between myself and the enormous windscreen being the back of the Bus Managers head. Even this possible flesh and bone airbag is only on my left side. There are three moments where I see my life pass in a flash - once when Crazy Driver is on the wrong side of the road to overtake and has to suddenly brake and swerve off the road to avoid a 4WD. Twice when small groups of cattle wander onto the road and Crazy Driver almost takes them out like bowling pins. I place responsibility squarely with the driver as I am fairly certain that the cattle aren’t aware of road crossing etiquette. But come 5.30pm...huzzah!, we are finally in Siem Reap...and not in a body bag.

Lesson learned - always request the  middle row when reserving a bus seat!