World Student, World Nomad The mind and body wanderings of one, Alyssa S.

As the spawn of Thai immigrant parents living in Los Angeles, my brother and I have spent many an awkward summer not quite fitting in with an endless sea of cousins. That is, until this past February, when my mother and I flew to the motherland alone because the men of the family were otherwise engaged in trivial things like work and university. It was a gal’s trip to my first Thai wedding, the first time our nuclear foursome of a family had been separated, and my first time stuck 24/7 with my mother for almost a month. Cue the deep yoga breathing.
The all-day wedding spectacular started with a bridal family breakfast where the mother and father of the bride feed the bride her last meal as a single gal, to signify all that they have done for her throughout her life. They literally fed her, like she didn’t use her hands at all. Pretty sweet deal. Then came my mom’s favorite part: the golden doors. Traditionally done at the bride’s childhood home, the bride’s family and friends pair up and hold golden chains between them to bar the groom and his party from getting to the bride. This is possibly the funniest way to get a dowry because to get through these gold doors, the groomsmen must offer money in classy pink envelopes. Negotiation and bartering is highly encouraged. Overall there was a lot of laughter, the bridal party made serious bank and the groom had to profess his love through the door amidst great cheering and catcalling.
With the families now joined together, the traditional Chinese tea ceremony began. If I were to choose one of the day’s ceremonies to be synonymous with or to compare to the traditional American walk-down-the-aisle, it would be the tea ceremony. Tea wins, hands down. The bride and groom, whilst sitting on the floor in deference to the elders on the couch, serve tea and receive marital and life advice from each couple in turn. There wasn’t a dry eye in the suite as the young couple learned from their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. It was truly beautiful and solidified the strong family values at the core of these ceremonies. The evening ended with a formal reception that had significant Western influences.
This trip to Thailand began with me dreading spending so much quality time with my mother and her family, a family that once felt worlds apart in more ways that one. Yet I came home with a deeper understanding of Thai culture, the world my parents came from, and the familial framework that built my life.