Awakening

Eastern Europe - I understand now the depth of her roots that linger in my bloodline, but not quite pure as the heartbeat of Africa still pulses my pathway. Nonetheless, her aspect captures me (be it at 12, when dad takes me to his homeland, Poland, and I return with a newfound sense of belonging).

I travel alone, yet welcomed by our cosmopolitan caricature tour group. As I read the travel book (pages lovingly caressed), borrowed from Diana, the bohemian American, I happen upon the words of Arpad Toth: “Beyond the river the hills…behold they lead to heaven”. I await - Buda traversed by the Danube and Pest, which together presents its namesake.

Our bus crosses the river towards Buda castle, its 14th century foundations standing secure upon the remembrance of Turkish invasions and Hungarian Kings. The sun is setting as I walk towards Matthias church, nestled within the castle’s arms. I crunch along the pebbled walkways and resolve that never will I tire of these blossoms and their heady fragrant scent. I sidle in as an architect sotto voce explains the Baroque architecture and ornate majolica patterned roof tiles of the church.

But it is as I glance to the right, that my heart, oh my heart, renders itself uncontainable and I exclaim a gasp of wonderment. Overlooking the sprawling Pest panorama below, I am drawn to the dominating façade of the parliamentary buildings. A juxtaposition of neo-gothic and renaissance harmony, a deep rust dome surrounded by 27 ornate spires (indeed I count) straining towards the heavens.
I stand in awe, silenced by bricks and mortar.
The landscape unexpectedly invokes that which has been suppressed in the obscure and disillusioned depths of my soul, stirring the memory of an overlooked self, the girlish dreamer who had an insatiable desire to encounter life.
In that instant, something has changed, it cries, ‘I feel again’.

Tuesday morning I run (allow me this vanity - I want to leave my footprint on these walkways, in the same way she has imprinted on mine), and realise my affinity towards this city is because I identify with her.

I am engaged by her undeniable magnetism. She stands, naked and unashamed. Wearing her scars bravely; of the wars of her past, of the sins of others. There is a raw honesty, fragile and at times so violent. Her individual parts may not implore beauty, but the symphony that culminates in her brimming life, oh, that is what leaves me breathless, reverberating the echo of my heart.