In search of the universe

Stripped to the bare minimum, drenched to the soul,floating on my back, with three stranger-friends,watching the stars watch us,I couldn’t help but ask myself how I got there.How it was that a young & naïve version of me had begun this journey & made exactly those choices that got me to where I was now.
It was just a weekend getaway.Something hastily put together.The idea was we catch up with old friends,& we meet some people,seek ourselves.A train ride later,friends were met, new & old.Memories recalled, relived,& even made.The universe was doing its thing,that indescribable but real magic,that makes strangers friends. And perhaps there was another magic at work that weekend. My instinct was gently pushing me towards an experience that marked a turning point for me.After hours of socializing and getting comfy, the words road-trip came up.It lit a spark and soon a fire and suddenly four of us are in the van, prepped and ready for a road-trip.Four people that more or less just met,at an ungodly hour,on a road that has no destination.I am not the most spontaneous person there is,and as I sat in that van,yelling and whooping at some level, my brain was doing it’s SWOT analysis thing.It found a 100 reasons why I should not be yelling & whooping with joy,but that new voice in my head, the one I felt most compelled to listen to, shushed any doubts,so there I was yelling and whopping whole heartedly now.Before long, we’d driven into a jungle,a small little pocket in acres and acres of lush green jungle land.Shoved & hacked at logs that blocked our path, branches that scratched us,& tread on fresh land that demanded fresh paths. We slid down dirt,& ached uphill,until we hit a little pocket within the pocket.The most beautiful waterfalll.Scrambling down the last few rocks and roots, screams were screamed, joy was felt, clothes were shed, and so was shame and fear and judgement. Four very happy people jumped into the pool, and washed the world off of them, and met themselves. In the silence of the jungle, in their rattled breaths as they hiked back up, in the vacuum as they soaked in the setting sun, and the picture it made as it set.
Now,bound to a desk,with a phone,staring at strangers names & numbers,running in the same spot I can’t help but ask myself how it was that I got here? How it was that there was once a happier version of me that I found, but forgot.How it was that the girl sitting in her chair had let the world get to her, but shut out the universe?