there is this idea here, in the wolof language, called taranga-the word for senegalese hospitality. they will smile so huge, so huge with sparkling teeth!! they will hold your hand and call you sister, and insist so joyfully that you come to their house for tea. oh and no, no they'll say!! they don't want anything from you in return!! nothing at all! just the opportunity to exchange ideas and share they're culture..not for payment or gifts or anything.. they'll offer their hearts with such seemingly genuine generosity- total light in their eyes, purity emanating from their intentions...such an incredible invitation, you'll think! and so you'll go with them, on a pleasant walk around the village, to a friends hut for tea...
and then they've got you, cornered by the charm of their radiating smiles. as soon as your smitten, out comes the desperation. they'll grab your heart by its weakest point and flood your love with sob stories. they'll manipulate you into feeling like they've helped you so much-given you so much from their cultural mind, and now, what will you do for them? will you buy their children books for school? will you get some medicine for their dying mother? well, you must do something! after all, we are sisters, we are family, and i've shown you my light, so now you must give me everything in your pocket. so you'll give them something-five dollars and a packet of pens. and they'll smile and say "oh my. no, no. thats... thats not enough!! oh, my child, that's nothing to me!!"
such skilled emotional blackmailing. i've never felt like such a poor judge of character as i do here. its like all the rules we subconsciously use to navigate through society don't apply here...how do i get out of this? i try to reverse the charm back on them, but make it genuine. i'll smile and hold their hands and send them love and blessings, offer to share my food with them, tell them i want absolutely nothing from them in return and mean it. and then i'll slip out of the village, without saying goodbye...giving the next place a second chance and finding this quality to be repeating itself everywhere - wanting so much to believe that there are genuinely kindhearted people, and then consistently being reminded that even unrequested smiles cost a pretty penny around here..
