It was after midnight when we finally stopped to pitch camp on the beach. I know this because the clock in the rent-a-car hadn't changed time zones like we had yet, so when I announced it was 11, three people with phones told me otherwise. We had been driving all day, down the coast from Cairns all the way to somewhere just north of Brisbane. I had taken over the last shift while everyone dozed. That was when I was in my element. Absentmindedly driving through space and time, never truly knowing where we were headed, and never truly caring. I was in charge of everyone else's safety. It was the task I was assigned with, and I'd be damned if I was going to let them down. So I drove through the night and thought about just how far we had come. Not just physically; I thought about the bond we were sharing. An incredible bond that transcended both time and friendship. The four of us, drawn together by circumstance (or was it, dare I say, fate?), had met a week earlier in Cairns. We had all traveled there alone, determined to scuba-dive the Great Barrier Reef. When James suggested we rent a car and continue the adventure, no one defied his invitation.
We parked in a lot a half mile west of the beach. There was a sign that said “No parking overnight”, but that didn't matter. We agreed to wake up at sunrise and continue our way down the coast. We were just passing through, young and full of ambition, life. Although we were certain no one could hear us as we crept through the lot and into the woods, we still whispered. It was an incredible night to be alive in Australia. Although it was winter, the light humidity and gentle breeze that encompassed the air reminded us of late August back home. As we trekked through the woods I wondered just where home was for me. America felt like a dream-world to me now, a hole that I had to climb my way out of in order to truly experience the life that had my name on it. I think what made me cherish my company that night was that I knew they were thinking the same thing. Four creatures of the universe who begged for something different.
There was no moon in the sky when we arrived on the beach, an observation that Carly pointed out with unquestionable sorrow. She was one of the happiest people I had ever met, so the fact that this bothered her annoyed me as well; but what beauty the sky lacked due to the moon's absence it more than compensated for with the stars. The trees blocked them from our sight on the way in, and we couldn't see them in the car, so when we reached the beach and gazed into the beautiful night sky, there was a moment of silence. We all wanted to say something poetic or profound to reflect what we were seeing, but we were rendered speechless. The Southern Cross was still relatively new to me, so the jaw-dropping reaction I had when I feasted my eyes upon it was normal. It was as if the millions of stars had exploded from one huge one and sprawled across the night sky, eager for the creatures below to have a look at their magnificence. When I saw a shooting star rocketing through the others, I tried to make a wish. I couldn’t think of one. At that moment, I desired nothing and everything at once.
We found a spot on the beach that looked perfect for camping. We were close enough that we could hear the waves crashing down upon the sand, but far enough away where we were positive the tide wouldn’t drag us away into a new world while we dreamt of other worlds. James and I were to share one tent, and Carly and Jezza were to take the hammock. Jezza found two trees that were a suitable distance apart to set up the hammock. James and I struggled to set up the tent using the light from one phone between the two of us. It was a struggle that lasted nearly a half an hour, but it was a team-building exercise; something to remind us that we wouldn’t have been where we were without the help and encouragement of the others.
When we finally finished constructing our quarters for the night, we decided a joint would be a healthy and recreational reward for our troubles. As Carly set to work putting it together, the others and I talked about our plans for the next day while studying the ocean. I realized there was no way I would allow the night to end without taking a dip, and hoped the others felt the same way. I figured I’d wait until I was nice and toasted. It was during my internal monologue that James pointed out what was happening on the horizon of the Pacific Ocean. A very strange glow had appeared, forcing every other subject on our minds to fade into obscurity. It was an orange glow that replaced a substantial portion of the ocean and made us wonder if we were hallucinating. The joint had only just begun to be passed around, so there was no way its disorienting effects could have already commenced. Nobody knew what it was though, so we continued to progress the joint in a circle, keeping a keen eye on the phenomenon all the while.
Jezza asked me what I wanted to do the most before I left Australia. I took a perhaps selfishly prolonged drag on the joint before I told him that I wanted—needed—to see the Outback. I inhaled a little too much and sputtered into a coughing fit, much to the enjoyment of my new companions. The truth was that I had never smoked before I began traveling; not out of virtue, it was merely because I had never been offered the stuff. But I soon discovered that it was a highly valued commodity amongst travelers and so I eagerly said “yes” when offered, as I did with everything abroad, because when you’re traveling, I quickly learned, you can be anyone you want to be. The ideals I subscribed to back in the States simply didn’t hold weight anymore; I wanted to do and see everything I could, while I could. I enjoyed the way the pot expanded my perspective on things.
“I’d like to see the Outback too, man” Jezza replied. I smiled.
“I don’t think you get it, Jezza. I don’t want to see the Outback. I want to experience it. I wanna lie in the desert like I am here and stare into the sky while surrounded by millions of years of history. I want to be where the Aborigines are. I want to be immersed in their culture. That’s where this country began.”
There was a long period of uncomfortable silence.
“I remember my first joint”, Jezza said, with a grin spreading across his face. Everyone laughed, including me. The truth was that I did feel pretty high.
“Fuck you, dude” I began, still smiling. “That’s the last time I confide to--”
The universe cut me off.
We must have been preoccupied in our circle, because when I looked at where the glow was before, I saw that it had evolved into what appeared to be an explosion. An explosion in the middle of the ocean? How could that be possible? I thought.
“Okay, everyone else sees that too, right?” asked James.
“Yeah, I definitely see it; but explaining it is something else,” answered Carly.
Jezza’s eyes widened. He realized what was going on.
“Guys, that’s the direction of America! I think America was just attacked!” he exclaimed.
I noticed from the illumination caused by the explosion that the others’ faces were transformed from a look of pure contentedness to one of growing worry.
“What are you talking about!?” Carly begged.
“Think about it: earlier today that commercial plane was shot down by Ukrainians! The Russians were involved too. There were civilians on that plane, including Americans. That was the last news we heard and that was 12 hours ago. Shit’s probably hit the fan since then and America got involved, so they bombed us!”
While the others broke into a mild panic, I stayed quiet. I thought about many things in that moment. I kept my lingering admiration for the blast to myself. I was thankful that we had received such an amazing vantage point to view it; objectively speaking, the explosion was gorgeous. I wished I had time to run back to the car to get my sketchpad. As I write this, I’m still trying to convince myself that it was due to the sinister properties of the marijuana, but I actually hoped that Jezza was right. If America was gone, I thought, I never have to go home. I can stay on this beach forever. I didn’t think about my mom and dad, brothers or sister, friends. I thought about continuing the journey I had begun five months earlier as a wide-eyed exchange student from the northern hemisphere.
It sounds ridiculous now, I know, but at that moment I firmly believed that Jezza spoke the truth, right up until the moment it became clear that the explosion was actually the moon rising. None of us had ever seen it before, so we didn’t know that the moon actually rose just like the sun. It had cast a reflection onto the water before it rose above the horizon, so that was the initial glow that we saw. Then, when it ascended into our sights, it joined with its reflection to create what appeared to be an explosion. I think I was the first to discern the truth behind the “explosion”, but I didn’t say anything to the others. I let them figure it out for themselves. The second they realized the grievous error of judgment that they shared, they laughed and berated Jezza for his absurd ramblings. I continued staring at the moon. Maybe next time.
After we grew bored of talking, James asked us if we wanted to go for a swim. I cursed myself for not being the one to ask. As we approached the shoreline, tiny critters scampered away from our feet, as though we meant them harm. The truth was we didn’t mean anyone harm. I was finally at a point in my life where other people’s happiness and well-being made me happy. Things were weird in those days. Traveling mellowed me out.
When my thoughts returned from introspective analysis to reality, I noticed that we had all stopped right at the shore line, none of us daring enough to jump into the ocean.
“Well, James, this was your idea. You have to go in first,” proclaimed Carly.
“What!? No way! I suggested the idea, so one of you has to go in first. Australian rules!” James retorted.
“Haha, what? Australian rules? ” cried Jezza, over the roar of the waves.
“Too right, mate! Now get in!”
“Fuck that! If one of you goes in I’ll go next”.
All eyes were on me now. The funny part was that I was waiting for them to ask me. I wanted all their attention to be on me when I defied their expectations. In the week that we’d known each other, I hadn’t proved myself to be as bold to them as I knew I was. So I took a step toward the water, then turned around to face them.
“The hardest battle is the one in here,” I said while pointing to my head. Then I ran into the ocean and dove into its ominous clutches. I stayed at the bottom for at least a minute. While I was down there I could hear three subsequent splashes, all approximately 15 seconds apart. They had kept their end of the bargain. At that moment, at the bottom of the sea, I knew I had gained lifelong friends. With my eyes wide open, I spotted a fish a foot in front of my face. It was staring at me. Like, really staring at me. “Studying” would be the better word to describe it. It must have not been used to nighttime visitors of my kind. I stared back. If I didn’t know that fish don’t blink, I may have considered us to be in a staring contest. After another few seconds, I realized that I was in desperate need of air. Before I decided to go up, I reached my hand out in a futile attempt to capture the fish. It swam away into the nothingness whence it came.
When I finally ascended to the surface, the others were waiting for me.
“Mate, what the hell were you doing down there?” said James
“Just living, man” I replied.
James looked at Carly and Jezza with a puzzled expression upon his face.
“Are all Americans this weird?” he asked them. I chuckled.
“Nope, just me, James” I answered.
After our swim, we decided to lay out on the sand, strategically placed so the tide would reach our ankles, then recede. We stared at the moon, which was directly above us now, as we talked.
“So where do you think you guys will end up after Australia?” asked James
Silence.
“Man, I don’t even know where I’m gonna end up tomorrow. I live my life one adventure at a time. But I do know one thing…” I trailed off.
“And what’s that, mate?”
“Wherever I go, you guys are coming with” I replied.
“You’re damn right we are!” said Carly, as she slapped my stomach.
“The only place I’m going is to bed,” yawned Jezza. “I’ll see you guys in the A.M. We’re gonna have to leave early so the patrol don’t ticket us. Anyone coming with?”
Jezza’s suggestion made me aware of how tired I was, but I wasn’t going to move anytime soon. Carly and James weren’t as stubborn, however, and they took off with James.
“Night, Maxy. Coming to the tent soon?” said James.
“Yeah, give me a few minutes,” I answered.
“Goodnight, Max. It was a great night. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!” Carly cheered.
Now I was alone. Although, I wasn’t really alone. I felt a strange presence surrounding me that I had never felt before. Something was out there that night. Not something physical; there was an energy, an aura, submerging me. I don’t quite know how to describe it. I had this feeling that I was gonna die. And I was okay with it. Because at that moment, with my friends behind me and an entire world of possibilities in front of me, everything was perfect, and I knew—deep down—that nothing that came after would ever match that moment.
