Sela, ha’u kai!
They say palangis eat till they are full, while Tongans eat till they are tired! Nothing could be truer. Food is a huge part of the culture here, and I have never seen Tongans happier than when they are sitting around a table full of food laughing and eating. And they will find any excuse. Birthdays, anniversaries, workshops, payday… However, with very large proportion of the population overweight, or suffering from diabetes (we got through over 100 000 metformin tablets a month) it’s a culture that may have to undergo some big changes in the future.
Tongan food is a bit paradoxical. Sometimes it is simply amazing, mouth watering and better than you would get in a 5 star restaurant. Sometimes however, it makes you want to be sick, not for the taste, but for the strange combinations, the sheer volume, and the eat anything, anytime approach. This entry will attempt to characterise different styles of Tongan food, and give an insight into one of the most important elements of this culture.
1. Work Snacks
My first introduction to just how crazy Tongan food can be was at work. Every morning someone would turn up with a different plate. I would walk in the door and a colleague would put food in my hand and almost command me to eat. Someday it was the greasiest bbq I have ever seen which I still cant stomach at 8am, some days keke (deep fired dough – a heart attack in every mouthful – I can only manage one, most of my workmates can do a whole bag!). Sometimes it was packet noodles, eaten dry, most often fresh white bread, halved and with a stick of butter stuffed in each half, one half per person. Occasionally a boiled egg, often with a sweet bun, other times, tinned fish the smell of which is enough to make me dive out the door. It always involves eating with your hands, or maybe a tongue depressor if you can steal one from outpatients. I will never forget my birthday where my workmates made lunch. It was everyone bring a plate. I had managed to get my hands on some couscous – a rarity here in Tonga, and so had brought a big bowl along. I was most impressed when in the centre of the table someone placed huge bowl of salad, that was, until someone dumped two whole cans of corned beef over it. There was pele, root crops, curry, sandwiches, biscuits, a real feast. And every plate empty at the end, except the couscous!
Some days we were rich (lots of people brought food), sometimes poor (no one had any money). Sharing is the order of the day. I always remember the first time I brought food back to eat a work. It was a take away box of fried rice from the Chinese BBQ across the road. I sat down and started to eat, not realising my cultural faux pas… Suddenly every work mate was sitting around me, tongue depressors at the ready, and then they were digging in, consuming my lunch at warp speed before my eyes. I don’t think I got half a mouthful down. I eat out most days now.
So Keke, bread, butter, ice-cream, stuff stolen from the kitchen, peanuts, and sipi. However, I think my ultimate favourite (to watch, but never to eat) would have to be the bread-ice cream-soda concoction, also know as a ‘Tongan Starter’. First take a load of bread. Hollow it out and fill with ice-cream. Top with a can of lemonade (or whatever) There is a rule that food and drugs in the pharmacy don’t mix, as you can see from the photo, this is not often followed!
Drinks at work can also be interesting. Tea, made so sweet it’s almost undrinkable (the sugar kept in an empty Bactrim bottle), cordial in measures we usually measure out paracetamol syrup with, and water from the cooler (a gift from WHO and something to be proud of!)
2. Workshop food
You can’t have a workshop without food. That’s a given. And most of the money you are allocated to run the workshop will be spent on food. If you don’t provide morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea, no one will turn up. I know no one can think on an empty stomach, but I’m pretty sure most people only come for the food rather than the mental stimulation.
The workshops I have been to vary considerably in the quality of the food served. Some are amazing. The best one had a rainbow cake for morning tea that was so good I had to do the Tongan thing and go back for thirds. Other highlights have included good quality Chinese, any workshop were there is a salad option for lunch, and vast tropical fruit platters. Sometimes though, I think the person organising the food pockets the cash and brings what ever was in their cupboard at home. Soggy breakfast crackers with a tiny sliver of cheese, soggy bread with tinned fish, soggy bbq with not enough to go around…
I have actually now started to look forward to workshops because of the food. And if the food is no good, then I find it hard to concentrate on the presenter….
3. Church conference food
When I first arrived in Tonga, church conference season was in full swing. There were all these tents and tables set up in church grounds all over town. Four times a day (breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper) the tables would suddenly come alive, and on them would appear vast amounts of food, baskets filled with tropical fruit, and some lovely decorations. Everyone would sit, pray and then eat and eat and eat!
I was lucky enough to get invited to two sittings last year. Each table is catered for but a particular family, and it seems the deal is to try and outdo everyone else. So when I sat, my plate was loaded up with fresh fish, roast pork, crab, lobster, sausage, chicken drumsticks, rice, root crops, salad, egg. It was all so, so yummy. When you have finished eating, then its time to open the baskets that decorate the table. Here you get biscuits, lollies, fruit and soft-drinks. I even saw one with whole blocks of Cadbury chocolate (must get on that tablet next time). Then its time to organise some take away! So not only do the families have to cater for those sitting at the tables, there is then a whole army to feed with the left over’s. Luckily I have my bike, which is a good excuse to not be able to carry any more food home. Generally by the time the feast is over most of the food has been uncovered in the sun for a few hours and is not looking too healthy.
We had a whole month where in the afternoon someone would bring up a whole box of left over’s from the conferences to feed the pharmacy, patients and anyone else who happened to wander in. Workmates would also disappear for whole days at a time, with the excuse that they were sick (puke loi), but you knew they were actually off eating, or recovering from eating too much!
Funerals are very similar. One day our neighbours brought over an individual box of food for each of us. It was an aunt’s memorial, she had died a year ago and they were having a special service. It must have cost a fortune; each box had some stir-fired vegies, prawns (brought from NZ by a family member), chicken and some beef. There was a fork wrapped in a serviette and tied with ribbon. We found out later that this was in fact special food, reserved for the nuns, but cause we were palangies we got some to.
4. Traditional Fests and Sunday ‘Umu
I think lu palu is my favourite of the traditional Tonga foods, followed closely by kumala. Both of these you can get at a Sunday ‘umu. An ‘umu is an underground oven, like a hangi. You wrap some beef in pele leaves with cocoanut milk and some onion, and then wrap the whole thing in foil or banana leaves and wait for it to cook slowly. You also roast the Kumala in the oven as well. It’s as near to heaven in Tongan food as I have come. To accompany the ‘umu food, you may also get whole roast pork, carved in front of you, ota ‘ika another Tongan speciality – raw fish in cocoanut milk and some salad. Always finish with lots of ice-cream, a sleep, more food, then more sleep. Repeat every Sunday.
5. Sea food
Simply put, it is amazing. I have never been much of a seafood eater, but here I can’t get enough of it. And so cheap. 1.5kg of sashimi grade tuna for 15 pa’anga! Back home that would be way over $60. And so easy to cook – in foil in the over, a bit of lemon and coriander. If we are feeling fancy we make a salsa of papaya and cocoanut milk, and once again heaven. Couldn’t get better in a Michelin starred restaurant. Fish and chips at the local cafes is always fresh, although for some reason if you ask what type of fish everyone says marlin which you know can be true. I am hooked on mahi mahi (dolphin fish) and yellow fin tuna. Just don’t buy fish on a Monday – it’s the left over’s from Saturday and not as fresh.
6. The Marketi
I love the marketi. Not quiet the hustle and bustle of a similar institution in say South-East Asia, but on Saturday morning it can get quiet crowded.
I love the Chinese lady whose stall I always gravitate to. She always sends you off with a free capsicum or two, and a ‘bye friend’. It was such a relieve to find, in a nation fueled by starchy root crops, that I could buy bean sprouts, Chinese vegetables, spring onions, fresh coriander and basil. Then there is pumpkin (in season), capsicum, eggplant (the new vegetable I cant live without), onion, tomato, lettuce, avocado, cucumber and carrot. All are sold in nice neat stacks, 3 pa’anga a stack. Fruit is also abundant. The pineapples this year were amazing, and you can buy a whole hand of bananas for next to nothing. Watermelon is priced according to size, and coconuts for drinking can be brought individually or by the basket. It’s a magical place; the problem is carting it all home on your bike that doesn’t have a basket.
Also at the marketi you can pick up a cheap sausage roll, samosa or sandwich. Or visit jaffa man and get your sugar hit (be warned through – don’t ask him to fill a jar with jaffas, its over 30 pa’anga).
7. Local cafes and restaurants
There are a number of local cafes and restaurants. Some aimed at tourists some for locals. I think my favorite (when taking into account both food quality and atmosphere) would have to be cottage breeze. The fish curry is amazing, the burgers solid and filling; they even have ‘mocktails’! Sitting out on the waterfront with a light breeze blowing and pigs wandering by you really can forget all your troubles. Azarias (for the TV) and Friends (for the Chocolate moose cake) would have to come a close second. Reef (open on Sunday) and fresh are close to our house, and do the best coffee by far. Escape is good for the aircon. Marco does a fantastic pizza and wellington road food house is the first place I take visitors when their late night flight arrives (and scare them off bbq for ever). We had a bad experience at two sisters, but maybe need to give it another try. The new Mexican/Vietnamese (!) combo place is showing promise, Emerald is fantastic for Sunday morning yum-cha and Little Italy always seems worth a visit. JJ’s is my lunch time staple; I must eat there at least four times a week. Korea house is good for a Sunday night cop out or a night of Karaoke, but I can seem to get too excited about the food (except the sashimi when they have it). The waterfront would have to be the best restaurant in town (I haven’t been to sea view of Luna rossa), but the price is limiting for those on a volunteer salary. I would eat roast lamb there every night if I could afford it.
Then there are the burgers. Almost every food place in town seems to do a burger and I’m pretty sure I have tried almost all of them. Billfish’s Hawaiian burger wins hands down (for being one of the few places in town using pineapple), followed by a pangi burger (on a good day). Although we did have a long wait on pangi once – they ran out of bread and had to send the boat back to the main land to get it! There are a few places aimed at locals that also do a mean burger, Kai-mai and submarine are my favorite. If I’m really hungry, the King burger at cottage breeze is what I reach for.
8. Bakery
The bakery is the only shop allowed to open on Sundays. Hence, if you forgot to shop on Saturday it can be a big saviour. The bread is soft and fresh. Grain bread here is fantastic if you arrive early enough to get some. Stick to the sausage rolls rather than the meat pies, and always finish with a jam roll (only 20 cents). Eaten on the waterfront with a coconut, there are not too many places in the world you would rather be.
9. The weird and wonderful I’m yet to experience.
The story goes she asked him if he wanted to come home and ‘eat pussy’. Yes he nearly choked on his drink, but in fact she was actually inviting him home to eat her pet cat.
The story goes that he was leaving Tonga, and as a surprise his best mate organised a bbq. ‘I love you so much mate, and I’m going to miss you like crazy, so as a gift, I cooked your dogs’.
The story goes that she had just been presented with a til foil package containing what she thought was beef curry. ‘Don’t you love horse’ said her work mate after she had downed the lot, ‘Its do fatty, mmmmmm’.
So yes, horse, cat, dog not that unusual here. I have even heard about bats and owls but have no hard evidence to back it up.
Have yet to try dog or cat, but that was me in the horse story and I haven’t been able to work out if my work mate was joking….
BBQ and Kale!
What a way to finish. BBQ is Tonga’s answer to hawker or street food. Or if you are me, the Australian equivalent of a late night kebab. Only five pa’anga and you to can occlude your arteries for a whole lifetime and then some. So much choice – sipi, moa, Kentucky, palu rice or manioke, tomato or bbq sauce. It’s oily, sticky and so so bad but so so good at the same time, particularly if you are stumbling home from a late night at Billfish. I think my work mates would eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner if they could (as would a certain housemate), and it isn’t uncommon for someone to bring in a heap at around 9am. There seems to be a generic bbq place on every corner, but apparently quality variations do exist. The one near our house is supposed to be pretty good, as is the 24 hour wellington road food house. Turkey tails are sold here (despite being banned in Samoa and Fiji) and are another workmate favourite.
However the Chinese bbq across from work has saved me a few times. They do a great fried rice and noodles, however oily. Good for rainy days or when I just can’t be bothered riding into town. And then there is the Kale or curry packages of which quiet often get placed in front of me at work. Meat in curry sauce over manioke. Only three pa’anga for this one! One housemate is doing a ‘kale tour of Tonga’ so will update when the results are in.
So that is my summary of Tongan food. It seemed for a while that the only things I missed from home (apart from people) were food items. Cheese, fresh milk, coffee, sundried tomatoes… but I think once I'm back it wont be long before I'm craving a billfish burger, some fresh tuna, or god help me a Tongan starter. Better find a Tongan family to adopt me and get an invite for Sunday ‘umu!
