Velocity:Inertia

Solo road trip

wheresmypants — Sat, 2 Jan 2016 23:06:00 GMT

My traveling might be reaching addiction status... Just kidding, sort of. ;) I was "so done" with traveling when I arrived home mid November, or so I thought. But then my dad invited me out to Arizona for Christmas, which I hadn't done in a few years. Saw a lot of movies friends family and ate a lot of food.

then I got home and impulsively decided after 2 days to drive to Asheville nc and spend New Years there. I got a case of th fuck it's around 11 pm and was in bed just before midnight. Haha... But I adored Asheville. theeeen I drove 2 hours to see my aunt, uncle and they're steadily growing collection of grandchildren (along with cousins who spawned said grandchildren). It was a very full house but so refreshing to be around a giant , yet still functional family that contains small children... They do exist!!

I am starting a new job on Monday, and I wanted all day Sunday to relax at home. So I spent all day today ( Saturday) driving through west nc, Tennessee, and Kentucky . It was 11 hours from start to finish, including when I noticed the air in my tires looked low so I had air put in them. It was a personal record and now I'm feeling a little smug and pleased with myself :P . It was fun listening to music and staring at the scenery.

- the master solo road trippar :P

Lessons Learned: 'Murica

wheresmypants — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 14:29:00 GMT

Well, I never wrote a closing entry to my trip. I suppose in some ways writing this meant I had to face that it was really over!

During my last few days in New Zealand, I met some wonderful people, including Mani, who runs Intersex Awareness New Zealand. It was an amazing meeting not only on a networking level but on a 'o.m.g. this person is just awesome!!' level. Meeting Mani inspired me to try to make it up to Creating Change, a giant LGBT conference that is going to be in Chicago this year ...couldn't be in a more convenient place.

I also couchsurfed when I arrived back in Auckland and was able to see a super awesome play called "Kookoo the Birdgirl" that my host, Anna, was stage managing. The show was performed by one woman, Sarah Houbolt, who was born with a similar disability to a woman in the "freak shows" of yore named Kookoo the Birdgirl. Sarah used her amazing acting and dance skills to show how her story aligns with Kookoo the Birdgirl's and how she personally feels empowered performing in present day freak shows. It is difficult to convey over text how wonderful it was to see this show.

While boarding the plane to LAX from Auckland, I learned I was put on a "randomly selected" list of people sent from the USA. The people on this list had to be taken aside and checked again, so they took off my shoes to test them for stuff and looked in my carry ons. Very. very. interesting.

Obviously, we know how that concluded, since I am sitting here in the US writing this now. :P

While I did not have some cliche otherworldly, spiritual experience as a result of traveling, I certainly learned some things.

1. I benefit from spending time in museums. I love art.

2. No matter how strange, 'liberal', or 'radical,' I seem to other people from the US, I am painfully "American." (ahem. united states-ian...can this word become a thing? American is a misnomer). And I say that in a loving way. It is complicated, but possible to be angry at the decisions your country's government and its citizens make while still loving your home. For example, I would very much rather not have my tax dollars diverted toward drones, but I love my family, who all live in the US, and I actually realized that I do love the way US accents sound, even if they get a bad rep elsewhere.

3. That said, I am terrible at being in Asia. At least, where I visited within Asia. I am not proud of this; I'm just being honest. I have nothing but the utmost appreciation for the people I met and I loved having all the unique, amazing experiences I documented in previous entries. Still... Me + places I've visited in Asia = ?????. I would go back, but I'd stay longer in one place with, ideally, a local. I am so freaking. White. "American." Again, just saying this factually. I am a walking stereotype and it is hard for me to adapt to certain things. I had an arrogance that I was more cultured, open, and accepting than 'most' in my demographic. That arrogance is gone. I have lots of work to do.

3. The people from other countries who try to live in the United States deserve so much more than the United States is giving them. I can't understand why we cannot be more open to immigrants and refugees. Even after everything the US govt did to, say, Vietnam, I was treated much better when I was visiting than I imagine many Vietnamese people are treated here. It is so incredibly difficult to move one's life to another country and adapt to another way of life. If someone is compelled to do that, it's just the nice thing to do to welcome them and try to make it easier. We don't have to be allergic to being nice just for being nice's sake. While xenophobia does exist in other countries I've visited, it never seemed as extreme as in the US.

Being nice to people from other, not as developed countries will not end in terrorism, as statistics show. (I recently saw that out of all refugees accepted to the US in the last decade, 3 were affiliated with terrorist groups....who were plotting against countries that were not the USA). However, I notice a lot of not-foreign white domestic terrorists enjoying the kindness and access to guns that their privilege affords them... and we all see how that is ending up. It is embarrassing that even France is accepting refugees and there is still so much pressure coming from u.s. politicians to not accept them, while they keep backing the NRA. Unbelievable.

4. It's a good idea when traveling alone to seek out nonprofits and learn more about them or volunteer. Even if the trip isn't one giant volunteer mission, it's a way to give back whilte traveling. It gives a chance to meet locals that you might not normally meet.

5. Lastly, I'm not ready to move to another country right now. Part of the reason I took this trip was to see if New Zealand is a place I might want to live some day.

I could easily see myself really enjoying Wellington. I've moved many times by myself within the US- Illinois, Texas, New York... and I think that if I saved up the money over the next year or two, I could definitely make it happen.

But I don't want to go by myself. Cliche as it is, Home is where the heart is... and I've spent 27 years sharing my heart with people here. Perhaps one day, I can convince a loved one or two to come with me. Until then, I am anxious to get back into learning and engaging in activism, because I love this place, and I want to see it get better.

The act of living, finding meaning, and expressing emotions is art.

wheresmypants — Mon, 9 Nov 2015 22:39:00 GMT

Saturday was pretty fucking wonderful. I was having one of the best pots of tea in my life, eating breakfast with a perfect view of the waterfront, when my dad sent me a video of Hanson saying hello to me and telling me to visit some hobbits for them. They were playing in Arizona. It was an excellent moment. Then I sent the video to like 5 of my friends, naturally. :D

I visited the City Art Gallery, yet another free museum in Wellington. I secretly took candid photographs of a couple snuggled with a children's book on a couch outside of an exhibit. They were adorable. Then I told them what I did and apologized for being creepy for the sake of art, but since it was in a museum it felt less creepy. They were extremely friendly and gave me an email address to send the photos. They were one of those magical couples that lit the room up. If they stay together, which I have a good feeling about, I think they'll be happy to have the photos to look back on.

Was I supposed to focus on the art on the wall or the art that was living? I chose both.

I did a night tour of Zealandias Eco sanctuary- it's pretty much like trekking with strangers in a dark forest with a paved trail to see nocturnal animals. My favorite part was watching the sunset. We saw various things- an eel in the water, a tituara... And a kiwi from like 20 or 30 feet away. I could barely make out the dark blob. If I were a kiwi, I would hide too. I was probably relating a little too well because I was cold, tired and hangry by the end of the 3 hour tour. (A three hour tooour).

also, you could hear fireworks for guy Fawkes day exploding from the city center. Crowds and fireworks aren't my thing, and they aren't a kiwi's either. I was grateful to have a ride back from the other solo traveler in the group, a cool lady from UK who also didn't care about fireworks.

(kiwis are the national animal. people from New Zealand are called kiwis. Many New Zealanders have never seen one in person. People are trying to help keep as many alive as possible).

So I went to the zoo the next day. I haven't been to a zoo in almost a decade. I don't really know how I feel about them. But I saw a kiwi, really up close. I was alone in the room for most of it, just the two of us under the red light. It was one legged and the only thing that separated us was the glass as I sat on the ground and quietly observed. I really, really enjoyed it.

edit: you can read about Tahi, the famous one legged kiwi bird here: http://www.wellingtonzoo.com/content/animals/animal-stories.aspx

Then walking 2 miles back to my hostel, and I was boring for the rest of the day and night, a lazy Sunday.

The Welly rites of passage

wheresmypants — Sun, 8 Nov 2015 22:02:00 GMT

When a person visits Wellington, it seems like the unanimous urging from books, magazines, guides, locals, etc. is, "you Must go to Te Papa!!!"

This is a free and very extensive national museum near the water front. So I wandered around trying to take some cool pictures and breathe in the sea air before taking advantage of Te Papas evening hours on Thursdays, because let's be real: that is the time I feel most human, and least zombie.

It is difficult to write about everything that was fascinating in Te papa, but it lived up to the hype.

My top 3 , which I've posted pictures of in the New Zealand album. (I hope to rotate and edit these with full captions when I return to the states.)

- an exhibit on the evolution of birth control, with old and new forms on display (even used iud's!!) taken from the collection of Dr. Sparrow, a doctor who specializes in reproductive health and was one of the first women in New Zealand to be prescribed birth control pills. The picture above shows a place where people can write what advice they'd give to their younger selves about contraception

- the only colossal squid in the world on display at a museum, with a video to show how they found the squid when she was dying and then the process to research, preserve, then get her ready for display

-a 140 million year old shellfish fossil about the size of a human toddler, and likely much heavier

---
The next day I befriended a hostel dorm mate who had the same plans to check out the botanical gardens. It was the most beautiful day I'd seen here so far. We rounded up a 3rd lady from our dorm and used the historical cable car (a Wellington rite of passage) to make our way up to the gardens which were of course gorgeous. It was a great way to enjoy the weather and get to know some new people.

We ate at a delicious kebabs place afterward- it was great even without meat!- and then went to a few bars later that night. I was admittedly bored because I don't drink much anymore, but I was really impressed by how artful and detailed the contents of the cocktail menus were. They were rather classy establishments (one was kind of steampunk, with the bartenders in vests and dress pants), and I enjoyed the ambience. Then it was back to the hostel to read and write late into the night.

One of the most amazing days I've ever had

wheresmypants — Sat, 7 Nov 2015 10:36:00 GMT

My second day during Wellington's springtime was more like a winter day: cold, shitty, windy, rainy. I spent the morning in bed, not very motivated to leave.

Eventually, I piled the contents of my wallet and phone in a waterproof pouch under John's waterproof jacket and went to Cuba street.

I was in a fabulous mood for an inexplicable reason. Perhaps it was that I'd had a hot shower in a spacious stall with a door that actually locked properly. That was the first shower that fit all of those criteria since I was in Bangkok a few weeks ago!

I had learned about Cuba street when I talked to a young punk woman trying to sell some sketches off a main road. It was like finding my personal Mecca. The beautiful witchy goth women, the stores with bizarre and defiant art, the crafting books, delicious food extremely interesting greeting cards, Totoro stuffed animals... I was like, what the fuck? This is really happening right now??

I couldn't stop typing into my phone all of the things that caught my eye, since I could not nor wanted to purchase all that interested me, but still wanted to look them up later.

I popped into a cafe to watch the rain, read the "in order to live" book and ordered... Early grey rose tea? Seriously? Could this place read my mind any better?

After, I took pictures of signs advertising upcoming shows so I could remember to go to them. I found a shop with a bunch of random rock memorabilia, ranging from old spice girls books to kiss and Alice cooper posters. Behind the register was a teenage girl working there who reminded me of a female version of Gerard way from my chemical romance or robert smith from the cure. We talked each other's ears off about auras and rock stars and traveling and... Everything. Instant friends.

I soon broke down and made my first of two purchases in other stores: some wizard of oz cards that you color yourself with crayons that come with it (though I plan to use colored pencils) because, hello, I'm a grown up, and I have a long plane ride soon! I also got a skirt for half of what I'd find in the US and wore it out of the Banksy infested store over my leggings. I then walked to one of the events advertised on the posters.

The event was a burlesque show raising money for a local women's shelter at a bar called The Fringe. The performers were wonderful. Not only were there dancers, but also comedians that did a fabulous job of making fun of sexism. I made friends with the couple sitting next to me, who offered to drive me to the beach one day soon after I wrote down places for them to visit on their upcoming trip in the USA. Then a fucking wonderful bluegrass band called The Eastern played. Anyone who knows me knows why I felt like the universe was playing an amazingly wonderful joke on me. The day just... Got me.

I felt drunk and giddy, but I drank water through the night; didn't I tell you that I'm an adult? It was nice because it was free and I got to pour my own drinks all night. ;) When the show was over, I hung out with the band and some of the other lovely performers and event organizers.

They convinced me to join in karaoke with them and I chose my current favorite song, "warning" by incubus. I was incredibly anxious and sang it horribly. Later they pulled me into a hilarious group rendition of "we are the world," and halfway through that stupidly long song, one of my new acquaintances looked at me, laughed, and said, "you look terrified." But in my mind it was all perfect because I was facing one of my biggest fears- and sober at that!

Eventually I turned in, walking a block back to my hostel. 2 more hours flew by like nothing as I read and wrote, and just continued thinking and savoring how great the day was.

Windy welly, will you weddy me? (Part 1)

wheresmypants — Thu, 5 Nov 2015 00:19:00 GMT

I don't even know where to start. This has truly been one of the most amazing days of my life.

But I guess I should start before today, with yesterday, which will be part 1. (Read that last sentence in a Winnie the Pooh voice). I had smooth bus ride to the Auckland airport to take a a flight to Wellington and browsed a book store. Most airport bookstores either suck or are mildly pleasant but forgettable, in my experience. Not in the Auckland domestic terminal. Suddenly I was feverishly typing book titles into my phone to remember them for later because so many things looked good. I'd spent my whole trip not tempted to buy anything, and was suddenly surrounded by a small library of books I was drooling over. I caved and purchased, "In Order to Live," by Yeonmi Park, about a girl who escaped North Korea with her family less than a decade ago. I've already been moved to tears and I'm not yet to page 50.

Got a hot chocolate because I'm a grown up like that and had a smooth, short flight. Bus was easy to find, took a short time, no motion sickness. I was starting to feel inspired and alive in a way I haven't in a bit. I took my first look at Wellington and said, yep. I'm going to like this place. I don't know why, but I've always had an intuitive sense almost immediately of which places I belong and which I don't. I can't put words to it... There is something in the core of my being that says "good to visit," "good to live," "um... This place is not my thing but that's ok" or "lets never come back here again," which is mostly only reserved so far for Houston, Texas and perhaps Bakersfield, California. :)

I checked into the hostel, YHA, supposedly the best in Wellington, and went downstairs to try to catch a wifi signal. I had a catch up phone call with John that I'd been looking forward to for days. But no signal. Oh well, right? I'll just ask the front desk about it. There was no line or other people waiting to be helped.

That interaction went something like:

Me: hey, I'm just trying to figure out if something's wrong with my phone or if the wifi is out. I have an important phone call in an hour so I'm just trying to figure it out.

Man behind desk: ::clicks on his computer:: oh. Hmm. yeah it's not working. Nothing I can do about that.

Me: ok.. (Thinking maybe this has happened before, and trying to stay polite/ not to sound whiny even though he was kind of rude) is there an amount of time it's usually off for when it's down?

Him: (shrugging his shoulders and seeming nonplussed, disinterested, avoiding eye contact) I have no idea. It's totally beyond my control.

Me: ok, I just need-

Him: (interuppting) like I said there is nothing I can do-

Me: (returning the favor and interuppting back) which I completely understand, so I was going to ask if there is somewhere else I can go around nearby and access wifi.

Him: well you can access it out on the street. The city offers free wifi in the city center.

Me: with all due respect, I'm not really wanting to sit outside on the phone in this ::gestures to the wind gusts outside that Wellington is famous for, rain clouds and the 50 degree weather::... Perhaps a cafe?

Him: I guess there's the library..

Me: brilliant. Please show me on this map. Thanks. Goodbye.

What.. The fuck? A library, where people go to read and be quiet and shit? Lol it was better than nothing but I was reeling a little bit after that interaction. I realize sometimes people are going to be rude but the other staff who checked me in were so nice and the place has such a good rep that I was caught totally off guard. Perhaps it was my karma for all the times I copped an attitude with ultra entitled rich folks when I was a hostess at the roaring fork ::giggles:: though I quickly learned that the faster I helped them solve a problem the faster I could end the interaction. Also, I was 23 then, and this guy looked about 35. :P

So I trudged irritably in the very strong wind to the library. Though I wish he would not have been a condescending a-hole, I ended up being grateful that I had to go to the library because it was really cool. Just .. Good vibes. Books save the day... Twice! And I got to talk to john at a children's coloring table, sitting on an orange pillow on the floor, coloring myself a picture of an elephant (shown above) while we talked. People looked at me funny as they walked by but hey, it was fun and it was away from everyone who was reading and in meetings. THe picture had already been scribbled on, so I think of it as "a collaboration of people who will probably never meet." ;)

I started looking for food and found... An Asian food court/ eating hall thing! Like nothing I've ever seen in the USA. Not connected to a mall. Completely authentic real deal Vietnamese, Indian, Thai, Malaysian food... Along with random others like Armenian and Italian. I chose to get a banh mi sandwich from a Vietnamese place called.. No joke.. "Where's Charlie?" It turned out that the woman who was ringing me up and making the sandwich was born and raised in Hanoi, where I began my trip. She asked about the food I ate there and I tried to convey the warmth I felt toward her home. The sandwich was unsurprisingly delicious.

Went back to the ladies only dorm hostel room and chatted with a couple of the roomies, friendly French women. I like the women only dorms so much more ( are you really that surprised?:) they are not always but often more peaceful, cleaner, and less creepy. Though up to this point I am lucky and have only had annoying rather than creepy things happen in a co ed dorm... Like smelly disgusting dirty boy laundry strewn about... But I digress.

I curled up with my fabulous new book, surfed the web and finally went to sleep, happy that I had found my favorite place of the trip.

Nz adventures

wheresmypants — Tue, 3 Nov 2015 00:12:00 GMT

I've fallen behind on updates!

Highlights of New Zealand so far:

-Walking up to see Mount Eden, a volcanic crater sacred to Maori tribes

-visiting Auckland domain to see beautiful flowers and the main museum to look at ancient Maori artifacts

-Waitomo Glow worm caves!!! Had to bus a few hours each way but it was worth it. I went on Halloween and our guides, who were both women that might have been younger than me, dressed in full costume over their wet suits (lady joker and catwoman). We had wet suits too, and were encouraged to find inner tubes that best fit out arses. I chose a smaller one. Then we floated in the dark looking at the glow worms, hiked through the cave, and jumped backwards off of small waterfalls. It was really, really cold!!! And hilarious. Couldn't have asked for better guides.

- hung out with a futurist urban planner who is a friend of a friend. She seems to know like every genius living artist ever, particularly if they're from nz. More importantly she is probably one of the most intelligent and forward thinking people I have ever met. She took me to the Auckland art gallery downtown and told me about the artists and the symbolism in their masterpieces. Also took me to a beach near the suburbs with a view of a dormant volcano. I was so impressed by her and humbled by how generous she was spending the afternoon with me and taking me around.

- volunteered for a couple hours at Austin city mission learning about their org and served coffee and tea to clients who are currently homeless

-went back to the art gallery a second time because I liked it so much

-scribbling, drawing, and dancing in a room that I had to myself for a full two nights!! This is seriously a big deal for me in a good way, so I'm glad I spoiled myself.

This afternoon, I am flying to Wellington and staying there for a week. Goals include visiting an Eco-sanctuary at night to spot an elusive kiwi bird, checking out the arts scene, taking a ferry to the South Island, and networking.

Photos: New Zealand

wheresmypants — Mon, 2 Nov 2015 22:58:00 GMT

The scary hostel vampire she-wolf

wheresmypants — Thu, 29 Oct 2015 15:04:00 GMT

There are many, many loud people at this hostel, who are not all traveling together but just happen to be here at the same time. One of the French men staying in my dorm said that he and our other dorm mates were wondering if I am a werewolf or vampire because I slept most of the day yesterday. They were wondering if I was okay. I smiled and said yes, asking if he'd seen my cameo in the movie Twilight.

I am surprised that they were surprised- it's not uncommon for people to have strange sleeping schedules when they just flew in from Asia. Though admittedly I was feeling really moody and just didn't want to interact with any people after the overload of airports and taxi drivers and hostels and on and on. Budget travel is not designed for introverts, particularly in expensive places like New Zealand. The only way to be away from people for long periods of time was to be in my bed during the day, and then I just kept drifting off to sleep. of course, even then people are there to make judgments on your sleeping habits and forget to mind their own business :P

Today it is rainy and I'm about to eat some immodium tablets, though at least I'm up today. Hoping soon I'll get back to where I'd like to be.

Untitled

wheresmypants — Tue, 27 Oct 2015 23:33:00 GMT

I made the most wonderful mistake of picking too awesome of a place to stay at the first couple of nights in Bali. I slept in late both mornings because it was so peaceful, with only a screen for the window and the breeze rolling through.

I took an art lesson through a museum/ resort... They linked me up with a 75 year old local artist named Wayan Pendet. I really enjoyed spending time with him and getting to know him. He said he had 8 grandchildren and had never left Bali, which is quite typical... Not enough money and sometimes no desire to leave either. He had been drawing and painting since 1954 and was kind enough to pose for a photo next to the masterpiece he had in the museum. I felt super honored to work with him.

Another highlight was getting to hold a toucan (?) bird on my arm that they called John of all names. Lol. Being around that animal made me so unexpectedly happy... He not only had a distinctive personality, but he was a total Ham, not unlike another John I know. :P

I left Bali Monday afternoon to start the journey to New Zealand. I left my boots at the hostel and luckily realized with enough time to turn around. I then spent the whole ride to the airport trying not to throw up due to overheating and motion sickness from the crazy driving. Thank the universe for Dramamine.

I was admittedly relieved to be leaving Asia. That doesn't mean I regret going, of course... A curiosity that has been with me much of my life has been satiated... For now ;)

Now I am in New Zealand, feeling jet lagged and homesick... Generally how I feel after a days worth of traveling. Looking forward to the fresh start tomorrow!

Bali

wheresmypants — Mon, 26 Oct 2015 00:01:00 GMT

My first day in Ubud, Bali was relaxing and nice to say the least. The trip here was a bit stressful, but since arriving that has dissipated.

I'm pretty sure I walked multiple miles on the first day just taking everything in. There are so many gorgeous paintings, carvings, silver, clothing, and other creations that I need not step foot into a museum to feel like I've been to several.

I did go into a nice museum today though, and didn't have to pay since I am going to take a painting class there later. I also found some decent vegetarian Balinese curry.

I ended up seeing a traditional Legong Dance ceremony at Ubud Palace, but it was super touristy so it's hard to tell how traditional it was... Looked like the real deal as far as I was concerned, but I know little compared to what a Balinese person might on the subject. The style places a lot of emphasis on facial expressions, with a widening of the eyes frequently. Watching it through the lens of someone from the USA, the word "creepy" seemed to be the best way to describe it. But trying to extend past that lens, I found it in good humor and at some points they had us all laughing. The costumes were truly beautiful. I uploaded pics, apologies if they are sideways. I don't have a way to fix it at the moment.

Ubud reminds me of Hawaii in a number of ways. My favorite is all the geckos and the clicking sounds they make- a noise from my childhood. It is enormously comforting to me and it has been years since I've heard it. Right now I'm at a restaurant and appear to be eating alone, but I'm not because there has been a gecko on the wall next to me the entire time. :)

Photos: ubud, Bali

wheresmypants — Sun, 25 Oct 2015 19:55:00 GMT

Hostel-ity

wheresmypants — Fri, 23 Oct 2015 13:25:00 GMT

My last day in Bangkok I drank more bubble tea, rode the BTS sky train, watched a thunderstorm from the 15th floor of the building I was staying in, and had dinner with my hosts at a rooftop restaurant/bar with an amazing view. I also went back to the nearby mall to do more people watching, as the weather limited my original outdoor plans.

I think for me one of the most fascinating parts of Thailand was observing the different fashions that the women were wearing and how they carried themselves. While each person was different, I noticed a pattern of grace and poise that I have not seen so often in many other places.

On the sky train I saw a girl who stood out to me in a school uniform who looked to be early/mid high school age. She had thin hair down to her waist, tan skin, no make up. She was taller than me and skinny, somewhat hunched. She was so intriguing. I had the impression that she was beautiful, inside and out, and that she was on the threshold of many things. She seemed so real, like she couldn't have pretended to be someone she wasn't even if she tried. While much of this is projection, as I didn't speak to her, I like to think that she is a kindred spirit. When we left the train at the same stop, I became aware of a hopeful feeling and a curiosity about what her future would bring. I wondered if she would be respected, loved, safe- if she would continue her education or choose, rather than being pressured or forced, down a different route.

I think of all women (cis and trans alike) as warriors, no matter how "passive" they may seem. I don't use the word warrior to refer to violence in this context. What unifies us is that we all struggle against oppression, though some much more than others, depending on skin color and where and how we are born. In spite of our sometimes gaping differences, women face obstacles to being known, heard, validated, understood, and safe. We have to learn the balance of protecting our hearts from danger while keeping it open enough to still receive the love we deserve, and that path looks decidedly different when a person is told repeatedly by the world that she is less- less strong, less worthy, less interesting or valuable.

I wanted to tell that girl on the train to not let anyone convince her that she is less...

I wanted to tell the British man in the hostel who was saying a certain nationality of women aren't "beautiful" and that they "try too hard" as he leered at a young woman from a different country to shut the fuck up. I sadly stayed silent as I had been the butt of many a lewd joke to "try to get a rise out of" me and didn't want to take the bait. They lessened somewhat after another woman joined the discussion, but eventually I just got up and left.

If I stay silent, I lose. If I speak up, I lose. This is the manipulative nature of these men, and the scary part is they don't always realize they're doing it. Don't try to call them out though, or else you'll have to deal with an assload of gaslighting. Remember, they are never the ones in the wrong- the grumpy feminist just has a stick up her when she shows she is annoyed she is talked over, told she is wrong, condescended to, while none of the other people around (men) get the same treatment. then it could get topped of with a joke that ends with an inquiry of whether she had sex with a grown man at the age of 7.

No matter where you go in the world, there you are, and there misogynistic men are. I wish I could protect that girl I saw on the train,and the girl that is still inside of me, from the people who may unconsciously or consciously seek to bring others down... But I believe she will rise above anyway, just as I have, as we all do, when we survive another day, however quietly, however gently. We keep going forward, with an ever growing list of people to forgive. And at the top should always be ourselves whenever we may falter.

Bangkok

wheresmypants — Wed, 21 Oct 2015 21:47:00 GMT

Bangkok has been fun so far. I was extremely lucky to be put in touch with the most lovely hosts ever who have shown me a great time. For just one night I'm staying at The Yard Hostel because I heard such good things, and it has not disappointed. I've had 2 Thai massages for extremely low prices, been to one of the famous giant shopping malls, been to an amulet market, drank bubble tea, Thai tea, eaten street food, chatted with a few locals... It's been a good run!

There's a woman at this hostel who fell off a pagoda and broke her foot/ hit her face... She fell off because suddenly a cobra snake came out of nowhere and she didn't really have a lot of room to get out of the way. Now she has to have surgery on her foot. Puts things into perspective... Glad it's not me. Yikes. Happy to be healthy and just hanging out relaxing.

Speaking of which. I'll tell you a dirty little secret: I haven't gone to any pagodas. And if you ask why I can say... Because I'm afraid of poisonous snakes!! But it's not really that. I just haven't gone. :P

Photos: Bangkok

wheresmypants — Wed, 21 Oct 2015 21:39:00 GMT

Last day in Ha Noi

wheresmypants — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 06:50:00 GMT

Since returning from Halong Bay, I've been staying in a dorm room at Sanctuary Hostel. It is an amazing place that I would definitely stay at again. Here I've met other solo female travelers from the US as well as people from Sweden, Canada and France. One of the women, at 23, has been here long enough to acquire a motorbike that she is now trying to sell. I still have yet to develop such bravery and independence in myself and was extremely impressed. Another had acquired a job as a kayak/ rock climbing guide.

I chose to spend time alone yesterday, walking around and observing the seemingly chaotic daily life of Ha Noi city dwellers. I saw a group of people get into a passionate yelling match with each other, over what I cannot say. I walked around Hoan Kiem Lake thinking and reflecting, after having scribbled in a notebook at a cafe that overlooked the lake.

Overall I didn't push myself too hard but just kept moving. I was curious about talking to the elderly women I saw by the lake, but I was too shy to bother them and see if they knew English. I took some holiday snaps (my new favorite phrase) and said a prayer to this ancient and sacred lake, silently thanking it for being there for me to enjoy.

Today I am flying to Bangkok, where I will be picked up by a friend of a friend. My short time in Vietnam has been eye opening and interesting. I hope I can come back someday for a little longer!

Halong Bay and tourist traps

wheresmypants — Sun, 18 Oct 2015 08:00:00 GMT

I spent from 8am Friday to 4 pm Saturday on an organized tour to Halong Bay, which is considered one of the 7 Natural wonders of the world. I recommend you google pictures real quick for context or else this entry might seem vague at times. Perfume (hostel owner) was very convincing in getting me to go on this, but I wasn't entirely sure what I was getting into.

There were 6 of us on the 3.5 hour bus ride there- all of us whities from English speaking countries. I felt a bit nauseous for some of the way, so that kind of stressed me out, but I had luckily brought some tablets to fix that. We stopped at a couple of tourist shops on the way, and it was wonderful to watch the artists work on tapestries and statues in the first one.

The next shop sold pearls and had a bunch of blown up pictures of united statesian politicians and celebrities on its walls. Now, imagine for a minute that some country was engaged in war with USA 40 years ago and bombed usa multiple times, the way the us did to Vietnam. Do you think the USA tourist shops would have pictures of their world leaders and be catering to the citizens of that country? Even if we had a good relationship to that country, it doesn't happen. So many places in the world cater to westerners, specifically those from the USA, but the US does not reciprocate what it receives. I feel like many us citizens expect the world to revolve around us while paying little attention to the rest of the world and that the education system encourages that.... And it is why so much of the world resents us. I don't know if the US particularly deserves all this coddling and ego inflation... But perhaps the pearls sell better when people are surrounded by pictures of their own leaders? Interesting.

We boarded the boat and were shown to our rooms. They served us lunch. Then we were taken to a place where we climb hundreds of steps up one of the giant rocks to get a scenic view. We went onto the beach at the bottom afterward and swam. That was my favorite part... The water felt amazing and it was a beautiful day.

By the time we arrived back at the boat I was feeling a raging headache coming on and was feeling a bit overwhelmed, so I chose to chill out in my dark room at the bottom deck of the boat rather than kayak, which was the next scheduled thing.

After that, they said we were going to have a cooking class to make our dinners and I needed to pace myself. My headache got worse though and it made me a few minutes late to dinner. There was a guy that knocked on my door a couple of times shouting "cooking class" while I was trying to get dressed and I felt like a child being yelled at by their parents. I wanted to be like, chill out dude! But tried to respond politely that I'd be there in a minute. He persisted in knocking and yelling "cooking class" anyway. It turned out our "cooking class" was just making spring rolls and they prepared the bulk of the food. I was admittedly very relieved, as I was not operating at 100%.

Overall, It wasn't really my style of traveling and being pushed from one activity to the next on a rigid schedule drove up my anxiety at times. It would have been nice if we could have saved the kayaking for the following morning when I was fresh and rested, rather than after hours in the car, tourist shops, boat ride, more boat rides, climbing up steps, and swimming, but In the end Im of course still glad I went. It was great to visit and experience the beauty of this place, and this is pretty much one of the only ways to do it. I've since met people at my new hostel that feel similarly about their experiences.

Anyway, I felt a little better after dinner and hung out with the group and chatted before turning in. In the morning we saw some caves and took fabulous "holiday snaps." (Vacation photos:). It was hot as hades and the bus ride back to Hanoi was so bumpy that one time I flew up and out of my seat for a second before thumping back down. Needless to say, I was glad to get back.

Photos: Halong Bay

wheresmypants — Sun, 18 Oct 2015 07:20:00 GMT

Photos: Ha Noi, Vietnam

wheresmypants — Sun, 18 Oct 2015 07:01:00 GMT

All of the things!

wheresmypants — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 18:07:00 GMT

I woke up at 530 am. Now it's 5:30 pm and I can't believe how much happened today! I started by wandering the streets noticing the locals eating pho for breakfast on the sidewalks In front of cafés on very low stools. I was really intimidated, especially because my chopstick skills with noodles in particular are lackluster. Given that I was already nervous enough navigating this new city on foot by myself, I cut myself a break and ate a croque Monsieur at a western style place by Hoam Kiem lake. The lake is in the heart of Hanoi and holds sacred meaning for many of its people. I also had a delicious, tiny but strong cup of coffee that I believe contributed to some shakes I had later on. :P

also the honking as I walk on the city streets still causes a trigger response/ activation of nervous system fun times for me so I think that contributed. It makes me really appreciate being able to live in a place where there isn't so much honking. (Though at least when people are honking here, it isn't sexist street harassment. Hanoi men don't seem to buy into that bullshit, and this is considered a very safe place for solo women travelers).

After eating, I walked to the Vietnamese women's museum and left completely awestruck. I went to the "Hanoi Hilton" prison museum which was a place of torture and misery for many Vietnamese radicals during French colonialism. Later on, American prisoners of war like John McCain were imprisoned there. One of the videos stated that the American POWs were treated very well and that they were lucky to be imprisoned by the Vietnamese, who took mercy on them. It was fascinating to hear how different this was from the story I grew up hearing.

while I was there a Vietnamese guy came up to me all smiley and held out his hand to shake it. I laughed and shook it and then he kept walking with his friend. Random. I think I didn't mind because it was in this rather controlled museum setting about really tragic subject matter and it was nice to be yanked out of it for a second.

Then I helped point a lost Canadian tourist in the right direction and he told me I sounded Canadian. Lol. Took more pictures and had a rather extravagant lunch of the best fish sandwich ever and seafood soup at the Green Mango.

I saw wedding photo shoots happening in front of an old cathedral, tried Korean ginseng candy, saw adorable little girls with pigtails and sun umbrellas, and learned how to say thank you, but already forgot and need to relearn again. :P

Theeeen I went to the museum of ethnology, which tells a lot about Vietnamese culture and tribal life. Perfume's (hotel owner) 23 year old brother, quan, took me on his motorbike, as it's more toward the suburbs. It is awesome to see so many amazingly classy looking people looking like bad asses riding on their motorbikes. I love the look of sharp red pumps resting on either side of a bike! I don't think I had ever ridden on a motorbike before, so that was awesome too.

The museum of ethnology was cool and I'm definitely glad I went with Quan because he was hilarious and helpful in showing me around.
Now I am exhausted and want to go to sleep, but dinner beckons with Perfume and family. I can't sleep through it a second night in a row!

Tomorrow... Halong Bay!!!