Stories

Another Revival!

whereiskai — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 09:25:00 GMT

This page will live on!!!!

sadness for a lily

whereiskai — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 12:10:00 GMT

1. Elliott Smith - Untitled #3

2. Jay Jay Johanson - Far away

3. Element of crime - I long for you

4. Elliott Smith - Between the bars

5. Jacques Brel - Ne me quitte pas

6. Emiliana Torrini - Lifesaver

7. Xavier Naidoo - Flugzeuge im Bauch

8. Element of crime - Weisse Papier

9. David Bowie - Something in the air

10. Nikka Costa - Push & Pull

11. Emiliana Torrini - At least it was

12. Green day - Good riddance

13. A tribe called quest - Stressed out

14. Nick Drake - Things behind the sun

15. Portishead - Mourning Air

16. Bjoerk - All is full of love

17. Esthero - That girl

18. Tito & Tarantula - Back to the house that love built

To be like a river flowing

whereiskai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:34:00 GMT

Be like the river that flows
silent through the night,
not fearing the darkness and
reflecting any stars high in the sky.

And if the sky is filled with clouds,
the clouds are water like the river, so
without remorse, reflect them too
in your own tranquil depths.

Manuel Bandeira

Berlin telling truth

whereiskai — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 20:30:00 GMT

Dear ones,

The time in Berlin went on. I explored my "Kiez" a little more, and slowly slowly get into the rhythm of this city. One of the not so known things for me was the fact of the large distances that lie between people. You really have to schedule a meeting with people. And there is so much stuff going on here...

So far, I haven't seen too much of it! Roaming the city yes, and no "great super big parties that were the best ever"... only nice talks in little cafes along the wrangelstraße. A visit to the Jewish Museum... what a feeling to be inside this constructed experience. It gives you time to contemplate your own identity, the identity of others, the past and the future.

I still try to get a grip on the lifestyle here in Berlin. First, I realized the toughness that you see sometimes in the U-Bahn at night, that I am not so used to (coming from that overpoliced city of Amsterdam).

Now another beautiful lesson is trying to make understand: how to seize the moment and take risks. Walking in the park, you let your eyes wander across the horizon, watching the sun go down, and a warm orange dance with the clear blue of the sky. You hear music, see people dance and talk, enjoying themselves. And then there comes that beautiful woman walking past. I see her, and she likes me. She crosses my way and keeps on walking. And I feel like "I need some time to realize". And then the chance to actually speak to her is over. And I probably won't see her again. Somehow, it feels like everything goes pretty fast, and you really have to have courage and lightness not to lose yourself and stay in what is really there.

That is frustrating sometimes, yet really wonderful to grow into. The city is offering this, the people living here.

This is it for now, I keep on going.

Everloving, I greet everyone who reads this!

Love and light for you, my dear friend.

Berlin calling

whereiskai — Sun, 5 Jul 2009 02:02:00 GMT

Dear ones,

Today I start with a link:

http://www.womenandearth.ch/seiten/PDF/Forgiveness08.pdf

It is about a seminar I'm going to attend in September, that I look forward to very much. It is about dying and the value of it.

Strangely enough, in my internship here in Berlin, the topic is very present as well. I work in a hospital here, with really wonderful colleagues that teach me about life and physiotherapy.

The intensive care unit is a place I go to these days, and in the beginning it was okay. Then I realized where I was, and that made me feel a bit.. .well.. sad.. and now it is a work I am happy to do. For now. And what is also nice is that I learn a lot of competences, and that the place allows me to grow.

There is so much to learn, and time is short. Only three months. However, I stay in downtown Kreuzberg, the core of it (as I was told!). In a wonderful and beautiful little appartment. Finally the first time I stay "alone" there. It is quiet, it is a wonderful space.

There is a storm just now roaming over the city. It is a large city, with many places to discover. And it seems pretty easy to get lost in it. You have of everything so much, and it is cheap and of high quality.

Now, the world is spinning fast. Funnily enough, the contact with the people here has been little thus far. There was just no time for it.

That will change now, and my social life is getting some resuscitation...

To all the people who read this, I'd like to share this poem with you as well. Just because it is so beautiful, and I deeply believe in every word of it:

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is "AUTHENTICITY".

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
as I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call it "RESPECT".

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it "Maturity".

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call it "SELF-CONFIDENCE".

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness,
things I love to do and that make my heart cheer,
and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today I call it "SIMPLICITY".

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything
that is no good for my health - food, people, things, situations,
and everything the drew me down and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is "LOVE OF ONESELF".

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is "MODESTY".

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past
and worry about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it. "FULFILLMENT".

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick.
But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection "WISDOM OF THE HEART".

We no longer need to fear arguments,
confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know THAT IS "LIFE"!

Charlie Chaplin

Gallery: Winter in Amsterdam

whereiskai — Mon, 8 Jun 2009 17:30:00 GMT

A winter in Amsterdam...

whereiskai — Mon, 2 Feb 2009 17:14:00 GMT

It's been some time since the last post.

However, I want to share first something about this winter, and share some impressions of what it can be like here in Amsterdam!

As you all know, everybody gets somewhere here by bike. I get to my school by bike, and am so lucky that the path leads through the countryside. From Amstelveen I follow the river Amstel southwards, through a little village called Ouderkerk, with about 8000 inhabitants, then passing some farms, and a lake called "ouderkerkerplas". It takes about 30 to 45 minutes, depending on how windy it is.

A bridge is passing over that lake. It looks more like a "pier", without sideholds, so you have to concentrate well when you pass it. A friend of mine had her bike blown into the water on that bridge! Holland on the edge.

Ya, and on this way, you still get to see some things:
You see the plants and trees grow, and bloom, wither away and covered under snow. The people of Ouderkerk still care for each other. It happened several times that I forgot something during shopping, and they make sure you don't forget it. There were people in need of something, and always someone stood up and supported. It is very beautiful.

This winter the ice was thick enough to do some ice-skating on it. I've attached some pictures of it!

Hope you enjoy,
Kai

Auf dem Balkon (German poem and a little translation)

whereiskai — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:02:00 GMT

Wo bin ich zuhause?
Und wo meine Seele?

Wo ist Liebe?
Und wo nicht?

Wenn der Wind
meine Wange streichelt

Wo bin ich dann?
Wir leben, wie wir leben.

Doch die Lieder
laengst vergangner Zeiten

die hallen wider,
sanft und warm

in der Liebe,
die wir spueren.

Translation:

Above me the blue,blue sky,
and just beneath: the city.

Where am I at home?
And where is my soul?

Where's the love?
And where not?

Breeze touches my cheek
- where am I, then?

We live
the way we live.

But the songs
of times long forgotten

resonate
warm and mellow

within the love we feel.

Gallery: Norwegian Woods

whereiskai — Fri, 1 Aug 2008 01:09:00 GMT

Jorunn

whereiskai — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 06:45:00 GMT

We stayed at a lake that is the property of Jorund Valebjorg. He lives in Valebjorg. He owns a lot of the seas in the Holmvatn-area and is a very very firm and gentle farmer and fisher..

Settlers came only 200 years ago to that region, and his ancestors were among the first ones. His family lives there since 1800. He carries the name of his grandfather, who was named after his grandfather. And in between is the name... uh I forgot. Anyways, there were basically two names exchanged each generation.

This man had deep eyes, he looked strong and healthy, calm and direct. His eyes were shining - and yet his soul did not seem to be too close to humans. And he said so, too. "More than two days in Oslo would be pain in the ass to him. Too much rushing around, too many people, too much cars, not enough nature. The winters up here in Fyresdal are the best. To walk around in the deep snow, enjoying the silence and listening to the wind - that is where I feel at home."

He was special, somehow. In one of our few talkings he spoke about all the stuff he did:
He worked with youths that are violent or drug-addicts. And he had imprisoned people working nearby the lakes. He said "what they really need, what they really want is that someone honestly tells them "I like you". They often had trouble in their childhood, and they strive for affection ever since". By then we realized how much he carries within the community, and that he has a lot of love to give.

In the end he drove us back to Fyresdal centre - where we could easily continue our journey towards Oslo. I asked him a question:
"What do you wish for the young people and the old ones, that come to your place, that come from cities and stay here for some time".

He waited a moment and then spoke: "That they learn to listen to nature again. That they realize that they don't need to speak all the time. To recognize again what remaining silent in a nature place can give you. People often come here and speak speak speak. And when there is no one else speaking, they want to speak again. Not to be afraid of the silence, open for what nature is like, that is what I wish for them."

Good words...

Until that moment I thought that only American Natives have this kind of view, and longing and search. Not in western parts of the world. There we go...

What we learned through nature

whereiskai — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:05:00 GMT

On a rock

close to the sea

you place your tent.

You feel so free.

(and could not have done otherwise

for all the swamp around you!)

The dragonflies swirl and mate

chasing food, observing you.

The look

and ask "Who are you?"

The look and speak

"Who are you."

The water tells of depth

- of hidden life

and everchanging currents.

It calls you to go on.

It speaks "Farewell"

until you're gone -

You wonder

Is this real?

And just stand still.

You see the one

you're with

and think

"You're not needed here."

How can this be real?

Carelessly plays the sun

with clouds

Little children

forgetting time and space:

they go on,

they go on.

Taking every chance to laugh.

And then it rains.

You find your warmth

in some little dirty

tent.

From Norway with Love

whereiskai — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:58:00 GMT

"Go to that place, it's wonderful!

It is my uncle's place", she said.

Her uncle spoke "You can come and guide the people,

and sell fish - not too much! Earn good money,

and enjoy your time."

We were so excited.

We took a canoe,

we crossed the lake

and found a little beach.

Now we are here.

All you ever hear

is the wind

in the trees,

is the wind

in the sea.

The flying ash

of rotten roots,

old traces of an elk.

The shiny mirror of the sky

sparkling from the water.

Fallen leaves - both green and brown -

Dragonflies

with deadly skill

and vivid joy

hunting down

their innocent prey.

The shadows hiding from the sun

with all the clouds passing by,

and the stones that look at you

- ever changing, never shy.

They all speak with one clear tongue:

"You're only guests."

Thank you.

whereiskai — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 08:59:00 GMT

As you return from a lake

where every now and then

- like every month -

a man comes and says

"I like this nature here,

please let me stay

for some

time in harmony,

lightly touching the ground,

humming

"Don't be afraid, all is grace."

You are full of hope.

And as you

see the eyes

of the one you

were with

you realize

all the beauty

that is possible or not.

Your feet

get pinched by the pebble,

you hear them humming

"Don't be afraid all is full of grace."

Finally

on the last day

you catch a fish

- and kill it.

Dead and life are one

Seven circles radiate

in the lake that you obsevere

in a sudden symphony,

lightly humming

"Don't be afraid, all is full of grace"

And as you sit by the fire

you hear the one you're with

lightly humming

"Don't be afraid, all is full of grace"

The fish that you grill

on a long wooden stick

stretches its fins

as in sheer bliss.

With a happy tommy

you sit there:
All you can ever do

is thank for all the grace

that is given to you -

for free?

Thank you.

Gallery: Akko

whereiskai — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 04:05:00 GMT

Gallery: Mizpe Ramon (Israel)

whereiskai — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 00:33:00 GMT

3 days out in the south. This rock formation is 100000000 years old. No joke :)

Sleeping in the Negev Dessert or how two Bedouins didn't fall in love with me

whereiskai — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 23:30:00 GMT

Dear friends,

Ein Avdat is a National Park not far away from the graves of the Ben-Gurions (at the Kibbutz Sde Boker). It is basically a valley in the desert where there is water flowing through. It was also part of the Nabatean trade route (who were Bedouin tradesmen that travelled through the Negev transporting herbs and incenses from cesarea and Akko to the Egyptian areas and vice versa).

Anyways, I didn't come there for human culture, but for nature's culture.

As you enter the valley, on each side about several hundreds of metres high, the shades grow bigger and the air gets cooler. It is a nourishing place, where palm trees are growing and Ibex (goats) roam and live.

The walk through it is relatively simple, as you start at the bottom of the valley, walk it through, to eventually climb up some hundreds of stairs to look down on it again.

Here is a wonderful waterfall that you can see on the pictures and that is better be seen than told of. Huge caves open themselves to your eyes (they look as if a giant wanted a tennis ball and simply took a round piece ot of the stone) to your left and right as you follow the cold breeze into the valley. You take a break at a small dam, feel the clear water on your sweaty neck and you see birds roaming through the airs of Ein Avdat. It is a peaceful place.

The whole walk takes about one hour, and if you - like me - don't want to spend money, but rather to camp somewhere, you take all your belongings with you. Which is actually quite fun. Until you reach the stairs leading out of the valley. About 400 of them, and sometimes so narrowly carved into the stone that your backpack doesn't fit through. Which means poking and hoping that the person behind you gives a good push - not too hard and not too weak.

The dragonflies here sing songs of respect and openness. Quietude can also be found in the little meditation rooms, that ancient monks placed inside the walls of Ein Avdat to find themselves and the world around them. To speak an "OM" inside there tells you somehow that there are some good vibrations.

Getting out of the National Park I knew that there was a camping ground, somewhere along the blue trail. Which I followed for about an hour, through a dried-up river bed with almost no human tracks along the path. It was amazing. I couldn't spot the camping ground, so I just chose a little stony area covered by some more stone. After having spotted a mantis nearby the night closed in.

Then some sounds grew louder, and I already prepared for a group of hungry, blood-lustruous coyotes gathering around me. And there came two bedouins with their sheep bringing them back home.

They greeted me, having about 50 brown-coloured sheep at their knees. I took a picture, and they got quite agitated to take a closer look at what I was doing.

I showed them the recordings, and they were very impressed. They were two beautiful girls, with soft, brown skin and eyes as dark as full-moon-night.

A little idea came to me, which was maybe to find a nice place to stay in the community they live. A night with bedouins - what an adventure. They barely spoke English, so I pointed at me and gestured someone sleeping, then pointed at them and said "HOTEL?!"

They looked at each other, all of a sudden quite frightened. That confused me quite much. Until one of them replied, strongly gesticulating "You me no Sex no Money, No nO No".

It basicaly ended with these words, for every attempt to correct the misunderstanding resulted in only more distrust and fear.

Off they went their ways, and I spent wonderful night under the stars with no coyotes, a lot of peace, and a mysterious voice starting to sing songs in one of the darkest hours of the night. I couldn't spot the man, and his voice was filling the air, the ground and the beings (including me) with a merry feeling, telling of warmth and loss and how beautiful life is - day and night.

Akko - An ancient, troubled city

whereiskai — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 06:08:00 GMT

Dear ones,

A lot has happened since my last entry. I worked until october in Amsterdam, and then prepared my travel back to Israel, where all this way of the heart basically was initiated in march 2007.

Now I am in Akko, which is a small, mainly muslim city in the north of Israel, near Haifa.

The old city area was built in 1740, and tells a lot of stories about conflicts (the core of the area is a citadel, some time ago home to crusaders, then a prison for israeli resistance fighters during musilman reign in this part of the earth, and finally a mental hospital until 1985), sea-life (including fish that jumps off the table on the local market) and beautiful people (there is an arab marriage going on today, that I will join later again!).

In this city, there was 10 years a woman complaining about a "toilet that doesnt flush". You must know, that all these houses here are build very closely, creating narrow streetpaths, and small stairs leading to little doors of sometimes not so little homes. It is pretty romantic here;)

Anyways, this woman complained at the city council, and they were about to fix the problem. They checked the pipes, and everything seemed okay. So they had to dig a little deeper. And what they found was not only some rubbish blocking the water flow, but also a 500 year old, hidden tunnel that had been created by the templars. It is 200m long or so and was used to connect the harbour with the citadel, as an escape option. Fascinating city!

To finish this report, I would like you to tell a brief summary of the people that have been reigning here.

Besides the Ottman from 1750 till 1914, when the British occupied Israel, the Romans ruled here from 50AC till 600 AC, followed by Egyptian Ptolemais (who renamed the city to Ptolemais) till 900 I think, and then came a Bedouin empire, which was besieged and defeated by the HOly Crusaders, led by Richard Lionheart. Today, the Israeli government withholds political power. Not that I could tell you much more, and this is fascinating!

My story as a German and what it feels like to be with it in Israel

whereiskai — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:10:00 GMT

Dear friends,

It's been now 3 weeks that I travel through "the Holy Land".

First, because so many beautiful stories were told to me, I want to tell you simply how I feel, and what is going to happen.

At the moment, I feel free and happy. It is a pleasure to meet so many people with so different backgrounds (kibbutz workers taking a time-out from the western world, marrying Muslims, marrying Jewish people, faithful Christian monks, alternative pro-palestinian Jerusalemites, Ethiopian Jewish immigrants), and they all understand the same language: a smile.

This is about the German-Israeli relation in terms of Holocaust and the situation today.

It is amazing to rediscover the common principles of humanity, in such an environment, that is so stuck in so many conflicts. As I am German, I also come with a story, a background. And it is through sharing my own story (having grandparents that were living in the Third Reich, and participating in the reconstruction of Germany after the war) with people that lost so many relatives in the Second World War, that a true communication is established again. People share with me their sadness, how they miss their grandfather, or uncle, or so. And when I listen to it, and simply stay with them, as the human being that I am, without starting to make apologies or so, we come truly closer.

There is a young man working here in Ein Gedi. He is a tall guy, with already not so thick hair, he looks like a grim commander or something, with broad shoulders and sharp eyes. He is 19 and doing social service before the army. We had a talk about history, and it became emotional, and he was pretty intense and honest with what he was saying and also how. For some moments, tears came to my eyes and I thought "what is this all about??? Is he really like me, with all he experienced through his family story???"...

He asked me "Do you know what happened in Auschwitz and Bergen-Belsen". The look in his eyes told me, that whatever argument or information I would speak out now wouldn't make a lot of a difference, because the loss of a person, the longing to see that one doesn't find an echo in facts. So I could just feel how my eyes filled with tears, and replied "No, I don't really know what happened there".

And he told me that 90% of his family died there. And I said I was very sorry and that I was very happy to speak with him about this (I didn't say too much about how I felt inside ;)) )

Gavriel is his name. After our discussion we didnt see each other for some time (I had a full moon swim in the dead see;) ). And some other day we travelled together to Jerusalem. Where he revealed another part of his life. That he used to grow up in an Orthodox environment, strongly according to the traditional way. At the age of 16 he had his outcome as homosexual, and decided to walk another way. I saw in these young eyes, that were showing me sadness from a very intense point, a beauty and strength, that uncovered a very warm and loving feeling in me.

Whenever we see each other we hug and sing a bit and share a respect for the other's walk in life.

Authenticity - connecting people.

Gallery: Israel 10/07-12/07

whereiskai — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 18:24:00 GMT

Gallery: Amsterdam 06/07

whereiskai — Mon, 2 Jul 2007 00:54:00 GMT

ESP, Friends, a lovely city